Burnout.

I found myself in providence hours later, The street lights loomed over me. Threatening, just like my parents would be if they had found out I was here tonight. But, they never will, and I find myself feeling less and less guilty as I make my way into the familiar nightclub. My friends trail my side, I feel like i'm on fire.

Normally, I wouldn't care that I’m doing something I’m not suppose too. It is kinda who I am as a person really. I Should stop pretending that I'm a good kid, just like Andy said. Doing bad thing really exhilarates me. I told you I’m a loser. I repuse Girls/ Guys to the fullest, they run away within a glance. All i wear to school is hoodies and sweatpants, I don't do my hair or makeup, and I'm too shy to talk to anyone.

In places like this one however, I can be whoever I want. I don't have anyone to impress but myself, and trust me, I look hot. Because let's face it, I'm not stupid, I could dress up if i wanted too, I could be someone at my school if i wanted too,

But I don't.

Because Fuck High School.
This is the real world right here.

The nightclub was crowded, the band sucked to say the least, and all I could smell is booze and cigarette smoke.

Some say that love at first sight exists, and honestly, Id say thats bullsht. But it's hard to deny how I felt in those moments.

Everything turned black besides for him
All the noises went silent
The only thing I could smell was him
His air was all could breath

I don't believe in love at first sight either, but I believe in miracles, and the way I felt at that moment was a miracle.

I know it sounds bullshitty, like, fuck girl you're sixteen get a fucking grip. But I am sixteen, guys make my palms sweat, they make my stomach churn, They make me feel like i'm top of the world. I only seen him for a moment, and I wanted my whole life to revolve around this man.

Really, that's how quickly I am prepared to throw my whole life away for love.

“What's someone like you doing in a place like this” He says over the loud music.

No introduction?

“I asked myself the same question when I walked through the door” I say.
Not necessarily a lie.

“I’m Ashley” He says
“Maple” I shake his hand.

“Like the syrup?” He jokes

I will stab you.

“Like the tree” I say viciously

“I like a girl with an attitude” He says.
“I like a guy that knows how to keep his mouth shut”

He grins getting closer to me for a minute, observing me like a piece of meat. He clearly looks right down my shirt with no shame, and that's okay because I know i’m hot. I’m not a virgin anyway. Right then, my cool is lost, my panties are soaked, and I wouldn't mind dragging him into the bathroom right now or a quick makeout session.

Hey, I told you that I’m desperate.

He whispers in my ear “Id ask you to dance” He looks around “But my old lady definitely wouldn't like that”

I frown, of course he has a fucking girlfriend

“But here's my number” He says taking my phone and typing something inside.

He gets real close once more and looks me in the eye “But I never listened to what she says anyway”, And then he walks away.

So he's a douchebag, I can spot them from a mile away. It’s like a superpower. I can tell what kind of guy you are by a couple of words. A chump, a suck up, someone you can bring home to your parents, and douchebags.

Wanna know my weakness?

Dating them.

Notes

Anyone live in Rhode Island? I'm curious.

Can we have an agreement, author to reader?
Short updates, frequntly.