I could never mask this pain

I truly wonder where Ashley is... He seems to have disappeared. He checks in with the guys every few days, so he's still alive but I have yet to see him. I've been working with them on their new album and music videos, but Ashley hasn't shown when I've been there... Maybe I should check in on him, even tho he hurt me doesn't mean I want the guy dead or dying. I whistle softly and Brandy trots back to me, as I turn jogging towards Ashley's house. It's about a mile, so a minute or two. I hope he's okay, maybe he got himself in gambling trouble again... God, Ashley...

*Ashley's POV*
There's a soft rapping at the door, and I whimper softly attempting to stem the bleeding from my wrist. I know it's not gonna stop till after I've blacked out. I hear the back door being jostled, then kicked in, just as my knees start to give out. I hear the sound of nails on vinyl and then the bathroom door is kicked in. I manage to catch a glimpse of Melissa before crumpling into a dead pile of nothing....

*Melissa's POV*
"Ashley!!" My voice isn't loud enough to reach him... I catch him, laying him in the tub. Brandy paces around the house before laying at the bathroom door, guarding us. God Ashley, what have you done to yourself... Was this my fault? What caused this... Anger leaks into my blood as I slowly clean his cuts... Some are almost vertical... Jesus... Ashley you could be dead right now...
"M-.. Mel-Melissa..." his voice is scared and he's shaking, but the bleeding has stopped, and his cuts are bandaged. I shake my head, shushing him softly and scooping his frail body into my arms. He sobs softly against my shoulders, as I craddle him in my arms walking to his room. Booze bottles, empty white packets and blood stained razors liter the whole room. I sigh shaking my head before laying Ashley on top of the blood red leather sofa that seemed the cleanest thing in the room.
"D-Don't l-le-..." Ashley starts but I quiet with a kiss to his forehead. Brandy lays at his side, his hand reaching down to pet his hair....
"I'm not going anywhere.... Just gotta clean up to get you into bed..." My words are softer than they have been in a long time. I kiss his forehead one more time before pulling a clean quilt out of the closet and laying over his frail frame... I sigh, watching him drift to sleep before pulling out my phone and speed dialing Andy. I clean and clean and clean, bleaching and destroying everything of his past life.
"Andy, it's bad it's real bad... Can you get here soon?"
I toss the bags of booze bottles in the recycle and the rest in the garbage.
"I'm 5 minutes out, I'm grabbing a bag of your clothes and stuff first. I don't think you're leaving him if I'm not mistaken..."
The room smells of bleach so I found a few cinnamon candles, the smell dissipating quickly..
"Thanks Ands... you're the best."
"Naw, don't lie to yourself it's you that's the best."
I smile as we hang up before changing the sheets on the somehow still clean mattress. Tossing the dirty clothes and stuff in the wash before bringing some orange juice up to Ash. He's up, sitting up with a moan as I enter the room.
"Ash, shh... Let me help you okay?" My voice is kind and soft, he nods shyly as I help him change into an over sized flannel shirt, and a pair of sweatpants. I catch him before he falls again, switching on the TV and helping him sip the orange juice...
"M... Thank you so much... I-... I-I'm sorry about what had happened those years ago... P-Please... I-I've changed... I haven't slept with someone since you went in the hospital... I-I did fall into drugs again, you were the only thing keeping me away from it s-so I'm willing to get clean again i-if you just..." he sobs quietly dropping his head, sliding down in the bed. I brush his hair out of face, kissing his temple softly.
"Ash... I never stopped caring... Everything changed that night... I'm willing to try again, but you have to promise to get better. No cutting, no starving, no mass drinking, no drugs..." He nods before his eyes slip closed again.

Notes

Merrrrr