I could never mask this pain

Blocked numbers, once again it's the stupidest thing on this planet. My voice is not there, but yet it is... I have the words to say but no voice to say them with.
"M... Please..." Ashley, is trying to hold my hand, his hands warm compared to my freezing ones. I grudgingly allow him to take my hand in his, while I look over to Andy whose debating currently on whether or not to open the phone.
"A-..." I cough, till I feel like I'm dying. "andy, god fucking damn that hurts, give me the phone." He looks at me with concern before handing me the phone, which is still ringing... some fucking how. I open it, and snap the phone in half.
"Ashley, we should let her rest and go get everyone else, okay?"
Ashley gives Andy a look of hope, and me one of nerves. Andy shrugs and nods to Ashley, before he turns to leave the room. Ashley looks down, before looking up at me a look of pure anxiety in his eyes.
"Ash... Before you start, I heard what you said, and I think it's a load of bullshit. I think you're a load of bullshit. I heard that you 'love' me, but in reality you don't. I just almost died. So keep your paws off of me." I say at an almost a whisper, my voice is shit right now fuck. I moan rolling over, I've dropped hella weight, how long was a I out.
"No M&M please... We used to be best friends what happened...." He says at the same level I was speaking. He's tense, like I'm gonna hit him. Hell like I'd have the fucking strength to do that. Oh shit... the past yayyy......

October 2002, Night of the Blood moon. This is the night me, I came to resent Ashley with my whole heart. The night he left me to rot in the hands of some drunk asshole who just wanted an easy fuck. 2002, the year I was raped, abused, and the year PTSD riddled my body. We were screwing around, like we always do. Taking shots, playing spin the bottle, but then out of the corner of my eye I see Ash take some cash from a few guys. I just assumed he had won a bet, I thought nothing of it to be honest... But then I realized that they were headed towards me, I took off running screaming for Ashley. He was headed the other direction with his head phones in, as I was taken to the ground. Hours later Andy and CC happened to find me, they lugged me to CC's apartment and nursed me slowly back to health, forgiving Ashley is something I'll never be able to do...

"ASHLEY BECAUSE OF YOU I RAPED I WAS FUCKING RAPED." I scream in my hoarse voice and he flinches. He leans over and kisses my hand, rubbing my hand, letting it slowly warming up.
"I-... I didn't know... They said they just wanted a show, and I gave them the number to a hooker, but they just went straight for you..." Ashley says and I feel a tear hit my hand.

"MELISSA YOU'RE OKAY THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU SAVED US... OH GOD MELISSA IT'S BEEN A MONTHHHHHH." C.C.'s excited screams break whatever Ashley could have said... Thank god at that...

Notes