Living in pain

Andy's POV
I am not going to lie. Ash looks like shit. For obvious reasons he is taking Madi's loss the hardest. The rest of us have not been very well off either, but at least we can function. We canceled our next tour and plan to make up for it next year. We all need time to heal and get over Madi being gone, and in addition, we need to find a way to deal with having Jack around. The rest of the guys are here today because we need to try and get Ashley out of the house. We think it might help if he gets out, because he hasn’t even taken a shower since we got home.
I see CC coming up the stairs. We had sent him down there to try and coax Ashley upstairs. Based on the look on CC’s face, he had been crying. My heart sank, thinking that that meant Ashley wasn’t in tow. To my surprise, Ashley followed shortly behind. He looked pale and sick, but I can’t blame him. As soon as he got up here he looked around cautiously as though he had his radar on for something dangerous. He was almost done scanning the room when he froze in place. I followed his eyes to see that he was staring right at Jack who was sleeping. Jack woke up and started crying, at this Ashley flinched and tried to start going back downstairs. Me and CC stepped in front of the doorway to block him.

Ashley’s POV
When I got upstairs i looked around at my new, but familiar surroundings looking for something I had hoped not to see, but i was also hoping to see it. When I seen him, my heart sank and rose at the same time as if that was possible. It was the feeling that I had when I first seen Madi on that corner. He was swaddled up in a baby blanket with his wonderful light peach skin. His eyes were a gorgeous chocolate brown. He had most of Madi’s features. This baby could be my passage to feel better about Madi’s passing. I somehow felt better when I looked at him. While I was still analyzing him, he started to cry. He scared me when he did and I didn’t know what to do. I turned around in search yet again. This time for something that I didn’t feel so dangerous towards. In my search, Andy and CC blocked to door to my room I made a face and kept looking until I finally found it. Sitting in the kitchen like a weapon to combat Jack. His diaper bag with his bottle in it. I walked over there and grabbed it bringing it towards Jake who had Jack. I set the stuff down carefully and looked at Jake to ask him if I could hold Jack. He looked startled but handed Jack to me anyway. He couldn’t way more than 7 pounds. It was at this moment that it hit me that he was the only piece of Madi that I had left. I suddenly felt very protective and possessive. Is this what being a dad feels like? I checked his diaper and he was wet. After I cleaned him up he started to get quiet again and fell back asleep. I started to cry. This wasn’t the sad cry that was filled with sorrow, this was a happy cry filled with love.

Notes

Hey guys, I thought I would leave you guys off with a happy chapter. Sorry for not updating sooner. School has me everywhere. Most nights I don't get home until 7. It just makes it reallly hard to write regularly. Just know that I didn't forget about you. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy!