Lost It All

Katerina had taken a long hot shower after she got back to the hotel. She was still shaking and afterwards she sat on the bed brushing her long blonde hair, thinking about how lucky she was to have the guys there to help her. After all she didn’t even want them there in the first place. She told them she could handle it. She scoffed at herself as she threw the brush on the bed. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t handle anything herself lately. She had been an emotional wreck after Tristan left. She had been once a confident person and then she got taken for everything and now, she was barely hanging on.

The shower helped a bit with the tension in her body but the tension in her mind was still there. After her shower she curled back up in the bed and found herself cuddling with Andy’s pillow. It smelt like him and she hugged it against her chest. Nuzzling her cheek against it her mind began to wander. Andy had grown up in the seven years since she had seen him. She let out a small giggle as she thought about how protective he was of her. It was rather adorable for a badass rocker.

Just then the hotel door opened and Andy walked in. As soon as he saw her he paused and then slowly he gave her a small smile. He closed the door and locked it behind him. Turning back towards her he walked deeper into the room. “Hey. How are you doing?” He walked over to the bed and started to undo his boots.

Watching him, Katerina snuggled deeper into the pillow. At first she didn’t answer him. Several seconds went by and Andy kicked off his boots and then pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor. That’s when Katerina got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him from behind. “Thank you Andy.” She buried her head in his neck. Closing her eyes, she rested her head upon his shoulder.

Andy turned around half way and pulled her so that she was straddling his lap in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as his cuddled her. One hand came up to brush back her hair as he nuzzled against her. “You’re welcome Kitty Kat.” He murmured as gave her temple a kiss. Knowing that she was safe had him breathing much easier now.

“I’m so sorry. I thought I could handle everything by myself. Normally…this doesn’t happen.” Katerina lifted her head and found herself looking into Andy’s bright blue eyes. She tried to smile but it never reached her eyes. “I wouldn’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there.” She reached over and ran her fingers through his dark hair. Her fingertips brushed along his scalp as she kept playing with his hair. “I need to thank the rest of the guys as well.”

Letting out a deep breath, Andy pulled her down so that her head rested against his chest as he held her tight. “No one is ever going to hurt you again, Katerina. I mean no one.” His voice was firm. “I’m going to make sure of that. If I’m not there then Jinx, Jake, CC or Ashley will be.” He swore.

“I’ve been alone for so long.” Her voice cracked.

“Hey now, you’re not alone anymore.” He told her. “I’m so sorry that—“

Reaching up, Katerina put her finger against his lips. “No. No more apologizing.” She looked up at him. “Forget about it. We go forward.” She kissed his cheek. “Ok?”

Andy gave her a soft smile as he hugged her close to his chest. “Ok. But you’re no longer alone. You are a part of our family now. We’re all going to protect you.” He promised her. He kissed her forehead. Then he shifted so he laid back on the bed and took her with him. He moved so she was lying mostly on top of him and he held her in his arms. “There, I’m supposed to be taking a nap before the show tonight. You can take it with me.” He teased.

“Right. How did soundcheck go?” Katerina snuggled up against him as she looked up at him. She knew that’s where he disappeared to when they had returned to the hotel. She wanted to go but she needed time to herself and time to recoup. Besides she wanted to be surprised tonight.

Andy chuckled. “Pretty well. It was just us goofing off and testing out new things.” He rubbed her back softly. “You know you’re coming tonight. I’ve got you front row tickets. Normally I wouldn’t put you right down in front but since it’s your first concert, I want you down there.” He told her.

“I can’t wait to see you guys tonight.” Katerina found herself grinning. She let her fingers slide down as she brushed the fingertips brush over the ink on his left arm. She loved his tattoos and she began to trace them. Soon she began to lose track in what she was doing that she didn’t hear Andy calling her name. “Huh?” She looked up at him.

Laughing softly, Andy kissed her nose. “I said, having fun here?” He teased as his eyes twinkled like blue topaz.

“Actually yes I am.” She retorted as her finger kept brushing over his ink.

“Like my tattoos do ya?” He smirked. He like the fact that she wasn’t turned off by the new ink he had gotten since he last saw her. He knew that some women were disgusted by tattoos. The last thing he wanted was his best friend to hate his body art.

“Hell yes!” Katerina giggled. “Your tattoos are so badass. But then I think all body art is extremely cool. It’s a form of personal expression.” She told him. “Our bodies are really all we own in this world. So why not decorate the way we want.”

“If I remember you hinted at having some ink of your own?” Andy wiggled his eyebrows. “Time to fess up Kitty Kat. Where is it…or do you have more than one?” He asked. “I know you already have the badass navel piercing. But where is the ink?”

Katerina knew it was only fair that she showed Andy where her tattoo was. After all his were on display. “Ok, but you’re the only one I’m showing. It’s in a slightly hidden place.”

His eyes opened wide as his tongue darted out to lick his full lower lip. “Fuck Kitty Kat, just where did you get inked up?”

She playfully pushed against his chest. “You perv! Nowhere that badly. But it’s covered by my panties.” She started to explain.

“You’re not exactly helping with the calming of the fantasies here.” He smirked as his eyes took on a devilish look.

“I’m your best friend!” Katerina squealed as she laughed. But the truth was she wondered just what kind of fantasies Andy was having about her. She almost asked him but she knew it wasn’t a good idea. “Ok ready to see?” She laughed as he nodded his head up and down vigorously like a little boy. “Down boy. Cold shower after this.” She pushed him back on the bed.

“Hurry up woman!” Andy playfully ordered her.

“Do we look like we’re on Joe’s show? No. Never address me as woman. Biersack.” Katerina pushed him back on the bed and then straddled his hips to keep him on the bed. She then pulled up the oversized t-shirt she was wearing and tuck it just under her breasts, to reveal her stomach. She was wearing a pair of red satin panties. She knew this was a big step but she licked her lips and then pulled down the band of her panties just enough. There on her left hipbone was her tattoo. It was in black ink and it was the outline of a sleeping kitten, only it was curled up to form a heart. “I know it’s girly.” Katerina blushed.

Without thinking Andy reached up and brushed his fingers over the inked skin. “A cat.” He looked up into her eyes. “A kitty kat.” A slow smile crossed his full lips. “It’s not girly at all. I like it. A lot.” He didn’t pull his fingers away, instead they kept tracing the tattoo over and over.

“You always called me Kitty Kat and even though you left me, I still missed you. It was the first thing I did when I got to New York. Even before I got the piercing.” Katerina explained.

“The hipbone is pretty hardcore.” Andy mused as he continued to brush his thumb over the design. “I like this. You know, I don’t want any of the others to see this. This is just ours.” He found himself whispering.

“That’s why I didn’t tell them if I had ink or not.” She nodded.

Reaching up Andy put her panties back to cover the tattoo. Then he pulled her shirt down. He slid his hands along her sides to pull her down on top of his chest. His arms wrapped around her as he hugged her. His hand came up to soothe back her hair. His lips found her forehead. “Good. Don’t tell them. It’s just ours Kitty Kat.” A million emotions were going through his head at that point in time as he held her. Since seeing her again, not once did he think of Tori. What did that mean? Andy knew he was supposed to call her tonight but it was the last thing he was looking forward to.

“You need to get some rest.” Katerina cuddled up against his chest.

“I will. I came up here to make sure that you were ok after this morning.” Andy murmured. “It pissed me off. No one hurts you.” He trailed his fingers lazily over her back.

“I’m fine.” Katerina yawned as her eyes were drooping.

“Sleep Kitty Kat. I’ll wake you up in time for dinner and then the show.” Andy promised. But when he didn’t get an answer, he looked down and found she was already asleep on his chest. He chuckled and hugged her tight. “Sleep well baby.” He whispered.

~ ~ ~


The place was on fire tonight and the crowd was fueling the energy that the band felt. Katerina stood in the front row right among the fans and there was no other place she’d rather be. The Black Veil Brides were already a couple of songs in and she had fallen in love with her best friend all over again. She didn’t mean for it to happen. In fact she fought against it. But the second Andy came out and began to run across the stage she knew she was a goner. He and Ashley were finishing up with Fallen Angels. Katerina loved this song. It got the crowd going and she loved Andy’s vocals on it.

“Is everyone having a fucking good time tonight?” Andy smirked at the crowd. He laughed as he heard everyone scream back at him. “I think you know this next one!” He looked over at Ashley and smirked. Ashley shook his head and laughed. Then they book looked at Katerina.

She cocked her head as she looked at both of them. Neither of them would say anything but suddenly the music blasted out. When she heard the song, she found herself blushing and bursting out laughing as Andy started to sing Rebel Love Song. She loved this song. Jake and Jinx were having so much fun with her best friend as they were putting on a great show for her. It wasn’t long before she found herself singing along with them. When the song ended she blew Andy a kiss and he winked at her. She found Ashley pouting and she laughed and blew him one too. Andy did not like that and he shoved Ashley as he walked by. Jinx smirked as he shook his head making the tsk tsk motion with his fingers.

The band then kicked ass with a few new songs from their new album, Wretched And Divine: The Story Of The Wild Ones. Katerina loved this album and found that she listened to it whenever she could. The crowd was going crazy for the guys and she knew all the girls loved Andy. She couldn’t have been prouder of her best friend. He’d come a long way from their shitty hometown. He proved everyone wrong and she found herself almost on the verge of tears.

“Alright everyone, I want to sing a song for you guys that actually has the inspiration right here with us tonight!” Andy found himself grinning. “The person here tonight stood beside me through everything, even when I left her to become the selfish fucker I am right now.” He laughed. “This is the Mortician’s Daughter.”

Ashley turned around slightly and looked at CC. CC twirled his drumstick in his hand and then pointed at Ashley. They knew that this song had been about someone in Andy’s past but he never fessed up about who it was. Now with Katerina here, everything made sense. The guys started to play as Andy walked to the center of the stage where he found Katerina watching him. That’s when he began to sing. The crowd immediately began to sing with him. Soon the whole place was singing along to the song.

The tears she was holding back were threatening to fall as Katerina looked up at Andy singing down at her. There was nothing but pure emotion in his blue eyes as he sang to her. It was as if they were the only two people in the room and she found herself holding her breath. Each word sank in as she realized that this song was for her…about her. Whenever she listened to it before, she never knew. How could she?

Andy knew he had to apologize to Katerina for all that he’d done to her. She kept telling him the past was the past but he had to. Long ago he wrote this song about her. He never forgot her. Not truly. She always had been a part of him. Now he wanted to let her know just how much she was a part of his life. With their eyes meeting he sang to her.

I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush.
A universe so still.
No rust.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, and I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.

We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I loved you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head,
But I promised you that I will see you again, again.

There were thousands of screaming fans around here but all Katerina could hear was Andy’s sweet angelic voice. The tears fell as she let out a soft laugh. Right there she knew she was in love with her best friend. She was in love with Andrew Dennis Biersack.

Notes

For those of you wondering, this is what Katerina's tattoo looks like only it's with black ink:



Uh oh, someone is noticing that our best friends just might have more than platonic feelings for each other.