Lost It All

The rock music was pounding off the walls of the club and the neon lights were casting the gyrating dancers in a sensual light. In the VIP section of the club, the members of the BVB were all seated in a large booth as the drinks flowed among all of them. Katerina sat between Ashley and CC while Andy sat across from her. She laughed at something that Jake said while taking a drink of her whiskey. “Jesus Jake! Remind me never to play the jelly bean game with you!”

“I’m serious! Those fucking things are disgusting!” Jake exclaimed as he threw back his head and downed his own drink.

“Now come on Kat.” Ashley moved closer to her as he smirked. He slid his arm around the back of the booth and around her shoulders. “Tell us what we really want to know.”

Smirking, Katerina took another drink and licked the alcohol off her full lips. “Yes, Ashley we’re really naked underneath the lingerie.”

CC was taking a drink of his booze and began to cough as Katerina spoke because he started laughing as she said that. Jinx slapped him on the back as he was laughing himself. “Fuck Kat!” He kept laughing. “You have to warn us when you say stuff like that.”

“What?” She asked in mock innocence. “Isn’t that what you all were thinking?”

Ashley grabbed his abs he was laughing so hard. “Wellll….actually one of the things but not what I was going to ask you.”

Katerina playfully shrugged. “Ohhhh!” She grinned. “What is it you wanted to know?”

Ashley leaned against her. “What was our Andy like back when he was growing up?”

Moving her eyes over across the table, Katerina locked eyes with Andy. He was slowly sipping his drink as he stared at her. His emotions were in a whirlwind but he tried to keep calm on the outside. His friends seem to really take to Katerina, but could he really blame them. She was outgoing and sweet. It was the same reason he became friends with her all those years ago as well. Seeing her now after all these years felt as if he were in a dream or a fog. All he really wanted was to be alone with her so he could hug her and explain everything. But instead they were here partying away here in the club. He never wanted to be back in the hotel more than now. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my boring childhood back in Ohio.” Andy shook his head as he took another drink.

“Hell yah we do!” Jinx grabbed his shoulder and shook it. “Come on Kat, spill it!”

Katerina found herself once again lost in Andy’s blue eyes. Even with the dimness of the lights and the smoke of the club, she could see deeply in his eyes. “Andy was my best friend since I was young. He was always there for me.” She threw back her head and downed more whiskey. “At least until he wasn’t.”

“Come on Kitty Kat, that’s not fair!” Andy snapped.

“Don’t you tell me what’s not fair!” Katerina lashed out. She stood up and grabbed Ashley’s hand. “Let’s go dance.”

Ashley knew when it was time to diffuse the situation. “Sure thing Purdy girl!” He winked at her before leading her off to the dance floor.

Andy slammed his glass down on the table before grabbing the bottle of whiskey and pouring himself another one. This wasn’t the way he pictured his reunion with Katerina going at all. He downed the whiskey and ignored the burning in his throat. He welcomed it because it was overshadowing the burning in his chest. Before he knew it he felt a heavy arm slung around his shoulder and he looked up to find CC sitting next to him. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He grumbled.

“You need to talk about it because you’re acting like an asshole.” CC sighed.

“Gee thanks.” Andy replied sarcastically. “And here I’m having such a great time.” He took another drink of his whiskey.

“Come on; tell ole CC all about the sexy model that used to be your best friend.” CC playfully patted Andy’s head.

Andy growled as he pushed away CC’s hand. “Knock it the fuck off. I told you, never touch the hair.”

“But you’re so pretty!” CC snickered. “Now come on! Tell me about Kat.” He pressured.

“Fine fine!” Andy sighed. “We met when we were kids. We became friends almost instantly and practically never were apart. Anytime I needed her, she was there. I did the same for her. She lived next to my grandpa. We were so close. I could tell her anything and I knew all her secrets. Hell she covered for me when I used to date that older chick in high school. Fuck, Kitty Kat did all my homework so I could go on the dates.”

“Shit man, what the fuck went wrong?” CC shook his head as he took a drink.

Andy let out a sound that was half grunt and half laugh. “Apparently me.” He laughed bitterly. “I left for LA the day after I turned eighteen. I promised to call her when I got settled and even promised she could visit.”

“So what’s bad about that?” CC asked.

Andy turned and looked at him. “I never called her. I started the band and…..”

“And?” CC pressed.

“And things took off.” Andy finished. “All I thought about was the music and my dreams.”

CC put his head in his hands. “You mean you never called her…at all? You never contacted her at all?” He watched as Andy shook his head. “You fucking idiot!” He cuffed Andy on the back of the head. “Kat seems like she’s so sweet and if what you’re telling me is true, she stood by your dorky ass. Then you go and just dump her as your friend?”

“Yea I fucked up!” Andy growled. “I know!” He yelled. “Don’t you think I’ve been anticipating this moment since I left her? I fucked up CC. She hates me. I’ve lost her.”

“You haven’t lost her man. I mean you’ve reunited with her. Things may work out.” CC shrugged.

Andy looked over on the dance floor where Ashley and Katerina were dancing together. Their bodies were grinding against each other and they were laughing. Andy’s eyes narrowed as he frowned. “Yeah, I hardly doubt that.” He snapped.

CC’s eyes followed Andy’s and he grinned. “Ashley seems to be having a good time.” He heard a growl and he turned to look at Andy. “Dude what’s your problem? She’s your best friend, right?” He watched as Andy grabbed the bottle of the whiskey instead of the glass, drinking straight from it. That’s when CC started laughing. “Shit! You like her don’t you?”

Andy’s head whipped to look at CC. “I do not!” He yelled. “I haven’t seen her in years. She’s my—WAS my best friend.”

“Then what the fuck do you care about Ashley dancing with her?” CC smirked.

“Fuck off.” Andy snarled.

“I think the lad doth protest too much.” CC snickered.

Andy stood up and pushed past CC as he headed towards the dance floor. He didn’t need this shit. He didn’t like Katerina like that. She was his best friend and he missed her. He missed her way too damn much. She went and grew up on him. No longer was she the adorable little blonde who leaned on him when she was bullied along with him. No, now she was a fucking model who could have any man she wanted.

“Are you having fun yet?” Ashley yelled over the music as he pulled Katerina closer to him. He smiled at the model as he moved his hips and his body against hers to the beat of the music.

“I’m having a great time!” Katerina called out. She wrapped her arms around Ashley’s neck as she moved her body against his. “I’m glad I got to meet you guys.”

“I’m glad I finally got a chance to meet you. I’ve been waiting awhile to finally do it.” Ashley grinned from ear to ear.

“Aw you’re so sweet. It’s nice knowing I have someone to support me.” Katerina let her head fall on his chest.

“Do you mind if I cut in?”

Both Ashley and Katerina turned to see Andy standing there with a smirk on his face. Ashley let go of Katerina and took a step back. “Uh sure thing. I’ll just catch up with Kat later and we’ll have another go at it.” He winked at her.

“No no wait. I want to dance with Ash now!” Katerina protested.

Andy stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Katerina’s waist, pulling her tight against his body. “Ashley is going to go get a drink on me. Aren’t ya Ash?” He turned to look at his friend.

Giving Andy a look, he nodded. “Yeah sure. I’ll see you both back at the table.” He turned and walked off.

“Andy!” Katerina glared at him.

“What?” Andy laughed as he wrapped both arms around Katerina and moved his body against hers. He sighed when she just stood there. “You know the point of a dance is to dance. Ya know, move your body?” He teased.

Still glaring at him, Katerina slid her arms around his neck as she moved her body. Andy had always been taller than she was and that made her feel safe. Just because she was pissed at him now, that didn’t change. She swallowed hard as she felt his body pressing against hers. She hated herself for still caring about him the way she did. After all these years seeing Andy again made her heart beat faster.

“I missed you Kitty Kat.” Andy whispered in her ear as they danced together.

Katerina closed her eyes as she bit her lower lip. His voice was low and husky as it caused her stomach to flip. Stay mad, she told herself. “I—I missed you too, Andy.” She couldn’t lie to herself, much less him. “It hurt so much when you left and then I never heard from you.” Her voice cracked.

Andy suddenly pulled her tight against his chest as he hugged her. “I know. Fuck I’m so sorry, Kitty Kat!” He rubbed her back as he closed his eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“If you’re so sorry then why did you just drop me like I never existed, Andy?” Katerina put her hands on his chest and pushed him off her. There was hurt in her blue eyes as she stared at him. “You never called me or let me know you were even ok!” There were tears in her eyes. “The only reason I knew you were alright is when the first Black Veil Brides album came out. That’s when I could breathe easier.”

“Kitty—“ Andy started.

“I want to go home.” Katerina spun on her heel and walked off the dance floor. She headed towards the table and tried to keep the tears at bay. After all these years Andy could still make her feel things. Reaching the table she put on a brave face.
Ashley and CC stood up and walked over to her. They both gave her a hug, enveloping her in their arms. “Hey Kat, it’s ok.” CC gave her a kiss on the temple. “Andy means well.” He sighed.

“I just want to go home guys. It’s been a very long day.” She gave them a half smile. She ruffled each of their hair. “I need to call a cab.”

“Fuck that! We’ll take you home.” Ashley protested. “All we have to do is call our driver and then he can drop you off before he brings us to our hotel.”

“Speaking of that you’re coming to the show tomorrow night, right?” Jake called out.

“Hell yes you have to come!” Jinx told her. “You can be our special guest.”

Andy walked back to the table just in time to hear the boys invite Katerina to the show tomorrow night. He licked his lip, playing with his lip ring as he waited for her response. The thought of Katerina being in the crowd while he sang made him smile. He wanted to show off for her. Wanted her to be proud of him. “You should come.”

Katerina looked over at Andy. “I—I don’t know.”

“Please Kat?” Jinx begged. “It will be a kick ass show!”

Ashley took her hand and playfully kissed her knuckles and then kissed her palm. “Please my Purdy woman?” He bat his lashes playfully.

Looking around to all of the guys, Katerina knew that she had been beat. Especially when she looked at Andy. He had such hope in his eyes and as mad as she was at him she knew she couldn’t say no. She had been dying to see him in concert but the money she earned in the show would be going towards her rent this month. “Fine…fine I’ll go.” Once again she found herself squished between CC and Ashley as they hugged her.

“Hell yeah!” CC yelled as he hugged her. “We’ll make sure you have a great time. We’ll set you up with some merch as well. After all you need to be dressed properly.”

“Well this lady needs her beauty sleep so let’s get going.” Katerina shook her head. She couldn’t believe what these guys talked her into. Yet she knew exactly how persuasive Andy was. It was those damn eyes of his that had her. She had to be careful from now on.

“Come on beautiful, let us escort you home.” Jinx stood up and offered her his arm.

Katerina laughed as she slipped her arm in his. “Such a gentleman.” She laid her head upon his shoulder.

“Always!” Jinx grinned. When Andy and Ashley snickered, he frowned. “Hey! I am.” He kissed the top of her head. “Come on, let’s get you home.”


~ ~ ~


Sitting in the limo, Katerina leaned back and sighed. Her body felt worn down and so did her soul. Today had one of the most emotional days of her life. She just thought it would be another show, another gig. But then the man she thought she could let go of walked back into her life.

“You’re not falling asleep on us are you, Kat?” Jake teased as he nudged her.

“Nah, I’m not. It’s just been a long day.” She stretched her arms over her head. As she lifted up her arms her shirt raised up enough to reveal her navel ring. It was a white gold ring with a ruby stone hanging from it.

As soon as the boys saw it their eyes lit up. “What the hell do we have here?” Ashley reached forward and laughed. “Kat you naughty vixen! I likey!” He playfully wiggled his eyebrows. “Do you have any other piercings?”

Jinx turned to see the way Andy was staring at Katerina and then he nudged CC. “It appears that Andy likey too.” He whispered in his drummer’s ear. CC snickered as he buried his face in Jinx’s shoulder.

Katerina smirked. “I have my ears pierced of course. Then I have a nose piercing but I’m not wearing it tonight because of the show. It’s normally on my right side. Then the navel piercing.” She reached down and played with the ring in her navel, making it jump.

“Damn, I like the fact you’re not like the average model. What about ink? Do you have any tattoos?” Ashley asked.

“Now Mr. Purdy that’s for me to know and for you never to find out.” Katerina winked.

“Well that’s a hell yes.” Jake laughed.

“But it’s where she has them that are the secret!” CC clapped his hands. “Fess up Kat.”

“Never!” She shook her, laughing.

Sitting across from her, Andy felt his chest tight as he held his breath. Just when he thought his Kitty Kat couldn’t surprise him anymore, she went and did it. Piercings and ink. Hot damn! His eyes roamed her body as he too wondered just where her ink was. In the show he hadn’t seen any tattoos. But then she could have covered them with makeup.

Just then the partition that separated the driver from the group came down. “We’re here Miss.” The driver told her.

All the boys groaned. “I know but the fun has to end sometime.” Katerina told them. “Besides, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Damn straight you will.” Jake told her.

“I’ll have the limo sent here so you won’t have to drive.” Andy told her.

Looking over at him, Katerina nodded. “Thank you.”

“Come here Purdy woman. Let me give you a kiss goodnight.” Ashley pulled her close and gave her a big playful kiss on the cheek causing Katerina to laugh.

“Kisses goodnight!” CC called out. He gave her a big kiss on the other side of the cheek.

Jake and Jinx followed by each kissing her cheeks as they told her goodbye. “Bye Kat!” Jake waved to her.

“I’ll walk you to your door.” Andy gave her a small smile as he went to crawl out of the limo with her.

“You don’t have to.” She went to protest.

“Kat, its Brooklyn at 2 am in the morning.” Andy raised his eyebrows. “I’m not letting you out of this car alone. When she sighed in defeat, he gave her his full dazzling smile. “Good, no arguments. I like that.”

At seeing his smile Katerina felt the world fall out from under her. It had been so long since she had seen him smile like that. She had forgotten just how beautiful his smile really was. She didn’t even notice the smirks Ashley and CC were giving each other as she got out with Andy trailing after her.

“Thank you for coming out with us tonight. I know the guys loved it.” Andy started awkwardly. He ran his fingers through his hair and then rubbed the back of his neck.

Digging her keys out of her purse, Katerina gave him a wistful smile. “I had a great time with you guys. It’s been a long time since I had that much fun.” She took her keys and unlocked the main gate. She and Andy walked until they got to the front door. She opened it and then she froze. “Fuck!” Her shoulders sagged as she put her hand to her mouth.

“Kitty Kat? What’s wrong?” Andy came up behind her.

There in the hallway of her apartment building were all of Katerina’s belongings. Some were tossed haphazardly in boxes. Her suitcases were tossed in a corner and it was evident the person who packed her things had no regard for her things. They just looked to be packed hastily. In fact it looked like someone rifled through the boxes and that scared Katerina. She began to frantically search through the boxes as if paranoid that something was missing.

“Kat?” Andy asked again. “What’s going on here?”

“Please God!” She muttered to herself as she felt the tears starting to form and fall down her cheeks. “You can take my clothes, but not this.” She tore open the boxes with more panic now as she searched for this object.

“Katerina!” Andy grabbed her shoulders. “What the fuck is going on?” He raised his voice.

“No! I have to find it!” She tore away from him. “I can replace my clothes but I can’t replace this!” She searched through the nearest box and then she suddenly sagged again as she clutched a picture frame against her chest. “Thank God!” Her shoulders began to shake as the tears fell.

Andy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest, hugging her. “Did you find what you were looking for?” He asked as he rubbed her back soothingly. He didn’t dare ask her what she was searching for. It was a picture of some sorts but he was afraid it was a picture of her boyfriend or something. “I take it these are your things?”

Wrapping one arm around his neck, Katerina buried her face in his chest. She nodded as she cried softly. Having Andy’s arms around her once again she felt safe. It felt as if nothing could go wrong and she just wanted to cling to that feeling for a little while longer. It felt like old times again and right now she needed that. Even for only a few minutes. Finally she lifted her head and her cheeks were wet with her tears and her blue eyes glistened. “I’m three months behind on my rent and apparently I just got kicked out. Tonight’s money from the show was supposed to help.”

Brushing her tears away, Andy felt his heart break as he watched his best friend cry in front of him. He always hated to see Katerina cry and it killed him inside. He pulled her into his arms again as he hugged her. “Kitty Kat, I’m so sorry!” He kissed the top of her head. He rocked her in his arms.

“I told him I’d get him the money and now…now I don’t have anywhere to go.” Katerina clung to Andy as if he were her life support. Gone was the anger she felt earlier in the evening. All that mattered now was that he was here for her in his space of time when she needed him. She pulled back to look at him. “Do you think—maybe—I could hitch a ride with you guys? You could drop me off at a cheap motel? I can try to find another place in the morning?” She sniffed as she wiped her eyes.

Nothing was making sense. Ashley said Katerina was a very successful model. So why was she behind in her rent? Andy needed her to talk to him and he had to get to the bottom of this. “No. You’re coming back to my hotel with me.” Andy shook his head. “Tomorrow we’ll both figure this out.”

Katerina shook her head. “No Andy. I don’t want to owe you anything. You have your own problems.” She protested.

Cupping her face, Andy looked down at her. “Katerina Anna Stevens, you are and always will be my best friend. No matter what.” He caressed her cheek with his thumbs. “If you need me, let me be here for you when you need me. I know I fucked up in the past. I’m here now and I’ll be here from now on.”

Katerina was still shaking from finding her things in the hallway and being reunited with Andy. Yet looking into his eyes she could see the hurt and the honesty there. She was tired of fighting tonight. She pulled him closer and hugged him. “Alright Andrew Dennis Biersack.” She whispered in his ear.

Smiling from ear to ear, Andy continued to hug her as he kissed her cheek. “I missed you so fucking much Kitty Kat.” He buried his face in the crook of her neck. Relief washed over him as he held his best friend in his arms.

Katerina hugged him tight as she thread her fingers through hair. It felt so good to hug, really hug, Andy again. Try as she might to keep the feelings she felt for him at bay, they crashed over her like a tsunami. “I missed you too. I’m so glad that I’m not alone anymore.” She whispered, thinking only she could hear.

“I’m going to get the rest of the guys to help with your stuff, ok?” Andy pulled back to smile down at her. “You’re gonna stay with me tonight. Tomorrow we’re gonna find you a new place. But tonight, we have so much to catch up on.” He caressed her cheek. “Speaking of that, what picture where you freaking out about?”

Katerina found herself blushing now. She covered Andy’s hand with her own as she bit her lower lip. Very slowly she lifted up the picture frame and turned it around. She saw the surprise on Andy’s face and then his own eyes fill with unshed tears. “I could lose all of my belongings…but this. I couldn’t ever lose this.” She spoke softly. In her hands was a picture that had an expensive wooden frame around it. The picture was of her grandmother, a thirteen year old Katerina and a thirteen year old Andy. Andy was hugging her in the picture and they both were laughing. “It’s the two most important people in my life.”

Andy pulled her to him and hugged her tight. “You mean the world to me. You always have. Come on. Let’s get you out of here. I’m sure the guys are wondering what we’re doing in here for so long.”

“I can imagine what they think we’re doing.” Katerina laughed, wiping her eyes. “I’m sure I know how Ashley’s mind works.”

Smirking, Andy wrapped his arm around her and tugged her towards the door. “Come on smartass. Let’s get your crap, all ten tons and head to the hotel.” When she went ahead of him, he playfully smacked her ass. He laughed as she squealed. Things were definitely looking up. Now to keep the guys away from her.

Notes