those fucking fanfic moments

Alright so there's two summaries-

The big blocky one on the main page of your story, located above the chapter links.

The small one that will be seen on the main page (which I shall call the blurb).

What pisses me off is when THE BLURB IS A QUESTION.

"What happens when Ashley meets Andy?"

Butt sex? I don't know.

"What if you met your idol at Warped Tour?"

Tell him, hey bro cool set. You did fab. Keep doing you.

"How do you survive Valentine's Day alone?" (legit saw this one on another site which spurred this)

You don't. You die. That's it. The Flying Spaghetti Monster sweeps you up into his pastafarian Heavens where you will live a lonely, pasta filled after life.

"What happens when Sky confronts her bully, Andy?"

They'll have make up sex at some football player's party and break up because Andy's dating a cheerleader now who's a total slut so he can break up with HER and have sex with Sky again.



DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS DOES? IT GIVES PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF A REASON TO REPLY TO YOUR BLURB WITH A SARCASTIC MENTAL REMARK AND SCROLL RIIIGHT PAST THAT SHIT.

Notes

And don't pretend like you've never done this. Or IIII've never done this. You're taught in basic English that a question makes the perfect opening hook. We're all guilty. Now let's agree to all sit in our time-out corners till we've learned why what we did was wrong.

DayTripper is out. Biotch. Lulz jk. I'm fucking tired. But seriously, valete.