Novocaine Hearts

Jake's POV

The following day I wanted to talk to Lexa. There was no point prolonging this conversation. It was going to happen.
I had no hard feelings against her; cheating happen. Yes, it was unfortunate for me, but I can't hang on forever.
After I had done some press with Andy, I made my way over to their stage and watched their set from the sidelines.
Lexa had improved. They all had.
They had this new energy and presence. They knew what they were doing.
Nate was going nuts with the crowd, I could tell all he wanted to do was open a pit.
I tried not to stare at Lexa, but her purple hair kept catching my eye.
She looked same. Maybe more awake... Something about her looked more lively...
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Someone asked behind me.
I spun around in surprise to see Ashley standing behind me.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I shot.
"Stopping you from making a big mistake. We can tell you still have feelings for Lexa, you have it lit up like a billboard. Whatever you were going to say, don't say it" he warned.
"It's fine Ashley. I wasn't going to say anything and I don't have feelings for her!" I denied.
"Well lets see then..." he said, crossing his arms as we overheard Nate closing their set.
They took their bows and ran off stage towards us.
I felt a moment of panic, which was mirrored in Lexa when she saw me.
"Jake" she said, her eyes growing wide.
"Hey Lex" I said, my nerves shot.
Lexa waved awkwardly to me. "Oh, hey Ashley" she said, only just noticing him.
"Hey" he said casually.
We all stood there, unsure of what to say.
Then Lexa broke the silence.
"Umm, Jake, I know I was the worst girlfriend in the world. I'm so sorry for what I did to you. Um-" she was cut off when Parker interrupted.
"Lex, we gotta go" he said as he tugged her arm, but then he saw us. "Oh..." he frowned.
"Umm, we really have to go, umm, if you want to talk later, just come by the bus?" She shrugged and continued to follow her band.
I watched them, gobsmacked that I had been rendered speechless.
"Well done man. She cleared the air for you" Ashley chimed in.
"Don't you have a wife that you have to spend time with?" I retorted.
"Riley left this morning. So, are you gonna meet Lexa later?"
"Well, yeah, I should? Right?" I said unsure of myself.
Ashley shrugged. "I don't know. Probably, she'll be expecting you."
"Parker didn't seem too happy to see me..." I mused.
"What do you expect? He would've had to console her trying to get over you. Look, just go talk to her tonight. You obviously want answers."

After our set, I nervously made my way to Lexa's bus. I wasn't one hundred percent sure on what I was going to say, but I had to say something.
As I came up to the bus Lexa sat on the ground, leaning up against the tire, having a cigarette.
"Hey" I said anxiously.
"Hey" she smiled.
"So, I'm sorry I was a mute before. I thought I had something to say, but it didn't come out" I chuckled softly.
"It's okay. I'm the one who had to apologise. I was a really bad girlfriend" she said taking a drag of her smoke.
"Nahh, you weren't that bad" I said, joining her on the ground.
"Jake, don't defend me. I know who I am" she shrugged.
"So, I heard you quit everything?" I questioned.
"Yeah... It was for the best. If I ever wanted to make anything of myself I can't do that if I'm on something. My band was really supportive" she smiled.
"I'm gonna guess you find the sober life boring?" I laughed, trying to make conversation.
"Not really actually. It's... enlightening. Found out some things about myself that I didn't know before."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" I pressed.
"That hurting you was the biggest mistake I ever made. But in a way, it turned out for the better. It forced me to change. I realised that if I ever felt that way about someone again, at least I won't hurt them" she spoke, staring up at the sky.
As she said these words, something inside me happening. This tingling feeling; it was warm and happy.
That was when I made the horrible decision of trying to kiss her.
I leaned in quickly, hoping she would turn her head, but her reaction was to push me away.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" She shot, her hand pressed against my chest.
"I still have feelings for you Lex. You were giving me this vibe that you still had feelings too."
"Jake... Unless you don't remember, you were really hurt. I can't get the look on your face out of my head. And every time I think about you, I picture that face. The disappointment and the hurt."
"But you changed! Because of it, it made you change! I should have given you a second chance!" I smiled hopefully.
"No. I didn't change for you Jake. I changed because I can't even think about hurting someone else like that. I'm sorry Jake, but we can't work. We didn't work" she said sadly, shaking her head.
"But you still love me! I can see it in your eyes."
"No, I don't."
I stayed silent, unsure of what to say. She didn't love me. Why would she change if it wasn't for me?
"Who is it then?" I asked.
"Who is what?" She said, confused by the question.
"Who did you change for?"
"No one! I did it for myself! It wasn't a big romantic gesture, it was me making a decision for myself! Why do you even care? If you really loved me, you should have loved me for who I am; drugs and alcohol. I'm not sorry I didn't change for you."
"It's Parker... isn't it?" I bluffed. I had no clue. I had no idea who Lexa was anymore. She seemed smart and alluring. Nothing like when I first met her.
She stared at me. I could see her face trying to figure out if it was worth arguing.
"You need to stop Jake. It's getting desperate" she said flatly, butting out her smoke and standing up to get back in the bus.
I sat there for a moment longer, staring at the sky. My hand seemed to go to my neck, where I had my satanic cross tattooed.
She really had changed.
It made me want her back even more.

Notes

Please comment guys :)
-Tina xx