They Can't Stop Us From Our Freedom

I woke up wrapped up in bed and I heard my stomach grumble. I got up and walked to Andy's room because my arm hurt too much to carry anything.

"ANDYYYY!" I yelled at him.

"Jesus Christ, Windy, could you yell any louder? What time is it anyways?" he responded.

"I don't know, I just woke up and I'm hungry."

"Fuck Windy, it's 6:23. Can you let me sleep a little?"

"Why didn't you sleep enough?

"Well you slept 12 hours and I slept 2 and a half."

"Andyyyy, I'm hungry though and I can't cook for myself because of this massive fucker on my hand and it hurts."

"Ugh you owe me."

"I know, but for now just go make me breakfast."

"What do you want?"

"I don't know whatever you can make and not burn."

"I'll get one of the boys to make bacon because I don't know how to make it."

"Are any of them awake?"

"I don't know but I'll wake them up if they aren't."

"I'm gonna get dressed, what time is my appointment?"

"10:30."

"Ugh ew."

"You have to go, you know that."

"I know."

"You also have to go back to school tomorrow, you've basically left Lindley all alone with these hormonal teenagers."

"I know I feel bad, but I only have tomorrow then we graduate."

"Oh yeah warped starts in like two weeks and we can't leave you guys here. We have one extra bunk in our bus so you can take it because I'm pretty sure that CC wants Lindley bunking with him."

"Wait we get to tour with you guys?!?"

"Yeah of course."

"LINDLEY'S GOING TO FREAK HAVE YOU TOLD HER?!"

"Not yet I just got the news right now," he said holding up his phone and walking out of the room.

I heard him waking everyone up. Let's just say they weren't the happiest.

*time lapse to 10*

"WINDY GET DRESSED WE HAVE TO GO IN LIKE 5 MINUTES!" Andy yelled from the living room.

"I DON'T WANNA GO."

"YOU HAVE TO IT'S ONLY ONE APPOINTMENT YOU'LL BE FINE."

"UGH."

I put on patchwork jeans and a cut out skull tank top and we left. I was scared out of my mind, I had never been to therapy in my life and I didn't know what to expect. I wonder if its gonna be like how it is in Freaky Friday. God, I love that movie. It probably won't be though, I mean, I hope but it probably isn't.

When we arrived all I saw was a big gray building, it was nice inside, kind of cold but nice. They were some kids in there. Most looked like they were in high school and appeared to have nothing wrong. There were a few children running around, behavioral issues I supposed. Andy and I went and checked in at the desk and then sat down. I felt at ease here knowing that there were other kids who needed this as much as I did. One girl seemed to recognize Andy. I saw her tap her mom on the shoulder and point to us. Andy smiled and waved her over to us.

"Hi," she said shyly, "I'm a huge fan, you guys saved my life."

"I can tell by the way you're smiling right now," he said back. I glanced at her arms I saw deep purple cuts spelling out "Slut".

"Why do your cuts spell out that?" I asked her.

"Because that's what people tell me I am."

"How old are you?" Andy asked.

"14," she answered.

"Wow, I thought my life was hard." I said.

"It's okay, I'm recovering, these are a couple days old. I was clean for three months then I relapsed. I'm trying again, though."

"Hey, why don't we all hang out after this, you can meet the people who saved your life," Andy suggested.

"You're kidding right?!" she was smiling so big, I could tell she was truly happy for the first time in what looked like a while.

"Nope, when does your appointment end?" he asked.

"At 11:15." she said.

"Perfect, why don't you just stick around after, ours ends at 11:30."

"Oh my gosh, of course, I'll go ask my foster mom. But, why are you here Andy?"

"He came for me." I responded.

"Are you guys dating?"

"Hahaha no, he took me in after my parents kicked me out, you have an amazing life saver here."

"I know," she blushed.

"Ellie A.?" the doctor called.

"That's me, see you later," she walked away smiling.

"You have a pretty name." Andy said a couple seconds before she disappeared.

"Do you get fans coming up to you a lot?" I asked.

"No, normally it's more dirty looks than anything." he laughed.

"Greaaaat." I said sarcastically.

"That girl is so sweet I wonder why people are so rude to her."

"I don't know, she had scars everywhere."

"She looked overly thin too, I can't believe she's only 14."

"I know."

We sat in silence the rest of the time. I was tired from the medication I was on, I put my head on Andy's shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Windy L.?" The doctor called when it was time for me to go in. She had brown hair down to her shoulder. She was fairly tall and looked really nice.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

"If you're allowed to, yes."

He got up and I unintentionally grabbed his hand. I was shaking.

"Hi, I'm Jennifer," she shook my hand, "and this is?" she looked at Andy.

"I'm Andy, Windy wanted me to come with her, is that alright?"

"Yes of course." Jennifer was really friendly. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

"So are you guys dating? You don't really look related," she asked as we walked down the hall.

"No, we're just friends, Andy took me in when my parents kicked me out." I said.

"Oh okay."

We reached the room. "Have a seat." she pointed to a deep green couch and sat in her chair by her desk. Across from us was a book shelf with a ton of psychology books and in front of us was a table with a bunch of toys for children.

"Okay to get started I'm gonna ask a few questions just to break the ice."

"Sounds good," I said.

"Okay how old are you?"

"18," I replied.

"And you, Andy?"

"22."

"Oh wow that's an age difference."

"Yeah," I laughed, kind of offended though since we're both adults.

"So do you guys have jobs?"

"I don't, my parents are rich so I don't have to do much."

"I'm the lead singer of a band."

"Oh what band?"

"Black Veil Brides."

"Oh yeah some of my older patients talk about you quite often, your music seems to do a lot for them."

"Yeah that's what we try to do."

"That's great, so how long have you guys known each other?"

"I don't know like four days I think," I said.

"Wow, how'd you meet?"

"Long story," I said rolling my eyes.

"Long for you short for me," Andy said, "basically her bitchy friend started hating on us on the street and her and her friend defended us, then a lot of shit went down. The end."

"Oh okay," Jennifer said laughing. "So why are you guys here, or Windy why are you here?"

A lump formed in my throat as I revealed the scars.

"Oh wow, how did this happen?"

"Should I tell you the whole story?" I asked shakily. Andy grabbed my hand and gently squeezed it, reassuring me.

"Yes, that would be helpful."

"So this weekend, my "friend" took me and my other friend shopping. As we were leaving, Andy and a few of his band members were sitting on the curb smoking. Me and my best friend Lindley defended them. We were the most popular in the school, Sydnee, the one who was insulting Andy and the guys, was the head of us. She told my parents what I did and my mom hates everything about the music I listen to, so they sent me to live with my brother. Sydnee payed him to…to…" Andy gently squeezed my hand to reassure me but the tears came anyways. He hugged me and began to help me out.

"Sydnee payed him to rape her, I called her the next morning and she didn't sound okay so I went over. I found her on the floor with four cuts on her wrists-" the doctor cut him off.
"So what were the reasons for each of these cuts?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like normally every cut means something different."

"Are you fucking kidding? I just got raped why the fuck do you think I did it?!" I swear this was going to be the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. This bitch is so ignorant.

"Okay, calm down and just continue."

"Do you want to finish?" Andy asked.

"I'll try." I said. "So we moved in with the band blah blah blah, but the next day I had to return to school. When we did, the second we walked through the door someone started to insult us but it wasn't that bad. At around 9, Sydnee came along, she targeted our eating disorders and that's when i found out…what she had done. Me and Lindley rushed home and i ran into the bathroom, threw up my food, and pulled the blades out of the back of my phone and cut."

"Were there reasons for these cuts or was it just generic like the other ones?" she said in an annoyed voice.

"As a matter of fact, there were. The first one was because I felt worthless. The second was because my parents didn't want me. The third was because my brother chose money over my health. And the fourth was because everyone knows my secrets. But just by the way, not everyone is the same, stop assuming things"

"Okay is that all?"

"Yes."

"Okay so first we need to get this eating disorder under control. Why did it start?"

"Sydnee told us that if we wanted boyfriends, we needed to be skinnier. So after that, I started seeing myself in a totally different way. I used to have all the confidence in the world, I used to love my body, I could comfortably be with people and not have to worry about how I looked. But after she said that I thought she was telling me that I was fat. I couldn't stop eating so I just decided to throw it up."

"Honey, you know that you can develop life long health problems. This needs to stop. I know somewhere you have the strength to do it, you just need to find that strength."

"Yeah whatever I can try I guess," Well that was helpful, not.

"And this cutting thing? You've only done it a couple times, I know you can stop."

"Fine, I won't do it again."

"Andy, will you keep an eye on her?"

"I have been, I wouldn't want anything to happen to her." He put his arm around my shoulders and I practically melted. Ugh, where are these feelings coming from.

"Okay well it looks like our times up, would you guys like to set up another appointment?" Okay first off, our time was not up but thank god she thought it was. I can't stand another second in here.

"Umm, I think I'll be okay, I have Andy here watching me but if anything happens he'll bring me back for sure."

"Okay sounds good and by the way Andy just ask her out I can feel the sexual tension between you too."

We walked out the door.

"That was the worst thing ever, She just expects me to recover. Hell no, it isn't that easy."

"I'm here for you, the guys are here for you, and Lindley and Sammi are here for you. We all love you to death and we believe you can recover."

What was up with that last statement she made. Totally unnecessary, he doesn't like me anyways. When we got out to the waiting area Ellie was sitting there waiting with a big smile on her face.

Notes

Windy's Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/windys_therapy_outfit/set?id=88498487

yaaaay update...but its kinda another filler ugh whatever...this was actually based on my first (and last) visit to a psychiatrist. It was literally the worst thing ever and ive done more for myself than she was able to do so yeah fuck ignorance

Never Give In, Never Back Down
~Hailie