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Henwood's & Biersack's

Intro

The two of them road up to a small house on a bit of land, a woman sat outside in a chair on the porch. She stood up as she spotted Tolbert coming up the hill. She gasped slightly at the sight of a bloody 15 year girl riding along with Tolbert; lord knows anything could have happened.
Mrs. Henwood asked quickly as Tolbert carried the girl up the steps: “What happened here Tolbert?”
Tolbert:“The Biersack boys had chased her across the river.”
Mrs. Henwood stated walking past her and into the house. Mrs. Henwood sighed heavily, they were having enough problems with the Biersack’s they didn't need this.
Mary sat uneasily as Mrs. Henwood finished stitching up her wounds.
Mary said softly trying not to make direct eye contact with Mrs. Henswood, keeping her head low: “I’m sorry ma’ , I didn't mean to cause no burden.”
Mrs. Henwoods sighed before saying quickly: “don’t speak nothin’of it, ya hear. Your Pa could never know or else he and Tolbert would go straight up there and start a fight.”
Mary nodded quickly.
Mrs. Henswood glanced up at her before saying: “They beat you?”
Mary shook her head before saying tiredly: “No ma’ not beaten”
Mrs. Henwood said before “Them Biersack boys ain’t got the sense got gave a mule, I tell you, all them Biersack's are bad fellows at heart. You just can’t deal with them”
Mary could hear every drop of bitterness behind her words.
Mary: “You all don't get along much ain't that right Ma’.....us are Henwood's and they are Biersack's” Chyna stated, Levicy sighed tiredly and nodded.
Mary looked up as Tolbert entered the room, he walked over to Mary’s side smiling, Mrs. Henwood walked out muttering to herself.
Tolbert: “I tol’ you, ma would fix you right up”
Mary said looking at her brother: “They ain’t meant me no harm”
Tolbert: "Ya right!"
Mary looked up at her ma.
Mrs. Henwood: “You were speaking lie?”
Mary: "bout what ma?"
Mrs. Henwood: "Them Biersack's mean every harm."
Mrs. Henwood then handed her daughter a nice dress she had.
Mary: “Thank you Ma. Why such nice clothes?”
Mrs. Henwood: "We gonna be goin to church, you gotta look nice for the lord."
Mary: "I'm gonna go change."
Mrs. Henwood: "Be quick."

Notes

Ok guys.....I am trying a 1800's type of style......tell me what you think.
If you are a fan so mine, well you probably don't know that I speak like a country girl.
Love You Guys!
-xoxo Frank

Comments

@DayTripper
Thanks, I'm trying something new. Sorry about the script like thing, but thats how I write all my stories.

Ay3_its_Frank Ay3_its_Frank
11/7/15

And we say "yer" a lot too instead of "your" or "you're" :P but keep trucking :) this is fab

DayTripper DayTripper
11/6/15

This is actually really interesting. I've never seen this done before. My only gripe is that it reads like a script which personally I'm not into. But otherwise this is fab :D

And as somebody from the south, I've heard people talk like that so your dialogue makes sense :3 feel free to add in words or phrases like "crik" (which is a creek, like a small river) or "bless your heart" (which we use either as an I'm sorry for you or a way to insult people without coming outright and saying what's in our minds). And as this is set in the 19th century remember it is illegal to sneeze in public streets but legal to beat your wife after church at the court house in Sunday's :D

DayTripper DayTripper
11/6/15