My Fallen Angel

"Andy, please," I sighed, glancing at the bus nervously. We'd stopped for gas on the way to their next venue, and we were at the back of the bus where no one could see us.
He was chain smoking and pacing angrily, cursing Ashlandil every third word. He was beyond upset over Ashlandil kissing me, even though I told him constantly it hadn't been because I'd wanted it.
"But he wants it!" Andy hissed at me. "He'd take you back in a heartbeat you know that!"
"Andy, stop!" I was getting irritated at this point. "What does it matter? I don't want to go back!"
"But he kissed you, Kenna, and you can't say you didn't enjoy it!"
I flushed, embarrassed, but he didn't understand.
He couldn't.
"He's a good kisser," I mumbled, looking down.
Andy didn't understand. Ashlandil was basically the first everything for me in this world; first kiss, first partner, first ... Everything.
And I'd broken his heart as a thank you.
I sighed, thinking about the other day.
Ever since then he'd not made one snide remark, not been cruel or teasing or sending any nasty looks. It was like I didn't exist again.
I wasn't sure I liked it.
I wasn't sure if it was Ashlandils residual feelings from that kiss, or if I really did miss him that badly and wish things could be different.
I just wasn't sure.
"You're making a bigger deal ---."
"Because it is a big fucking deal!"
I jumped at his tone, then frowned at him, hurt.
"You don't have to take it out on me," I snapped, crossing my arms. "It's not like I asked him too, and you're being mean!"
Andy stopped pacing, took a deep breath, and sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be. I'm just pissed off."
"Well, don't be," I told him, slipping my fingers through his. "There's no reason to be upset. It's done with. He only did it to get you riled up, he's not stupid."
"You're right, I know,it's just --- it's just not okay," he shook his head and let his cigarette fall, stomping it out with his boot. "He doesn't have that right anymore. He can't just do whatever he wants to you."
"But you can?" I looked at him in amusement, trying to lighten the mood before he got me upset with his feelings. "I'm not dating you either, you know. I'm free game. "
"Oh really? Free Game?" he grinned, turning to face me. "Is that what you are?"
"Mhmhmm," his hands rested on my hips possessively as he pulled me against him.
"I don't believe you are," he murmured in my ear, one hand snaking down to squeeze my butt. I felt my face redden, and he chuckled.
He tilted my chin and kissed me quickly, his hand knotting in my hair as he held me tenderly against him.
"Guys! Hey, where are Andy and Kenna? We gotta go!"
I pulled away from Andy quickly, blushing, and he grinned.
"Guess we'd better go," he murmured, smacking my ass as I started around the corner. I jumped, and my face flamed.
So uncalled for!



Ashlandil

I typed out a quick email to my bank, assuring them that yes, it really was me moving thousands of dollars into a trust fund for this random unborn child I had absolutely no connection too.
I pursed my lips, glancing up as I heard Kenali search through the cabinets for the hot chocolate mix, not finding it after five minutes already; it was getting irritating.
"It's in the next cabinet," I mumbled distractedly, rubbing my jaw. She glanced back at me, then opened the next one, finding the packets.
Yes, I authorize the transfer of fifty thousand, you fucking morons, I thought in annoyance.
"Bottom shelf, Kenali," I sighed, pointing her in the direction of the
marshmallows a few minutes later.
I could feel someone staring at me and I glanced over, shifting uncomfortably.
CC and Jake were staring me down, hard.
"What?" I scowled at them.
"Where's --- ?"
"In the fridge." I said of the whip cream.
"You guys are doing the thing again," CC stared at us. "I haven't heard you do that in months."
"What thing?" Kenali asked, sipping her hot chocolate and getting cream on her nose.
I chuckled.
She always got too much.
"The thing where he knows where the stuff you want is when the rest of us have no idea what you're doing."
"Oh." she hesitated, glancing at me. I tapped my nose, and she blushed, quickly wiping it off.
"Are you guys ... Okay now?" CC asked warily. "Like you're past the whole throwing shit at each other phase?"
"I suppose," Kenali sipped her chocolate.
I snorted, glancing down as my bank emailed me a confirmation.
Good.
Now the little brat had seventy grand to live off of.
And I'd probably add more eventually.
I sighed, and let my laptop close in resignation.
I hoped Kacy was good to it, I'd enamored her too, but that didn't necessarily mean it would last eighteen years.
I guess I would just have to pop in occasionally to check.
We both glanced over as Andy came down the steps, and then hastily at everything that wasn't each other, making a very awkward tension.
I was going to be good, I wasn't going to trip him as he walked by, or curse him in all the different languages I knew, or think of all the ways I could murder him, my favorite the breaking of the spine; I'd always liked the way it crunched when broken in half.
I felt a glare, and I looked up sheepishly at Kenali; she knew exactly what I was thinking.
Sorry, I mouthed at her, and she rolled her eyes, turning away from me and giving me that delicious view of her ass in the black skirt I'd ordered her, the end of it lace skulls that didn't quite reach her knees.
I pursed my lips appreciatively, and CC suddenly cleared his throat, purposefully drawing my attention away from her ass, and I noticed Andy glowering at me.
Heh, he should feel threatened.
I had her first..
I bet I could make her moan louder then he could.
"So," CC said loudly, making all of us look at him. "What's the plan? We're heading to where next?"
"Wales," Andy told him, leaning against the counter conspicuously close to my --- to Kenali. "We're gonna be there for at least a week, so it'll give us some time to rest up."
"That'll be nice," Jinxx looked relieved. "I don't think I could handle sleeping on the bus much longer."
Jake chuckled. "Getting too old?"
"Like you're one to talk."
Please, I rolled my eyes.
They had nothing on me.
"It'll be fun, it's always nice parties," Jinxx sighed, propping his feet up. "Though I don't see why they have to do that."
"You know Kennedi is in love with Andy," CC teased him, and Andy blushed, looking uncomfortable.
"Kennedi?" Kenali asked lightly, raising her brows, probably thinking the same thing I was; not another one.
"Yeah, she's just a kid with a rich dad," Andy told her quickly before anyone else could speak. "She really enjoys our music is all. She's really shy."
"Last time I think she short of squeaked when Andy spoke to her and ran away," Jake sounded amused at the memory of the poor girl. "But that was a couple years ago. I'd just be fine with shaking their hands and going on about our business; I just wanna sleep in a decent bed for a night. With Wifi."
"Fuck yeah," CC sighed, running his hands down his face. "The last couple hotels didn't have good strength. What hotel is that pathetic?"
I could see the confusion on Kenali's face; she had no idea what wifi was. She could barely get the DVD player to work, or answer her phone, or even understand how to open a text message without detailed guidance.
She really would've been better suited for the middle ages.
I chuckled at the thought, imagining her in a corset, her smooth breasts swelling over the hem of the lace, that red hair sprawled out behind her as ----.
I suddenly had to shift in my seat, and I was really glad my laptop was resting in my lap.
Those thoughts were definitely not going to get me anywhere but hungry again, and considering I was still having issues feeding like that, I didn't need any prompting.
And if I murdered someone again I would definitely need to hide the body and not let it be found so she wouldn't find out.
Jeez, why couldn't we just murder in the open again?
I missed those days.
So maybe Kenali and her heart of gold wasn't necessarily suited for the middle ages where the plague and us demons ran loose and slashed and murdered in the open.
Not that I'd done that too often.
A week.
I cleared my throat, starting to feel a little guilty over all the shit I'd done.
I was really starting to miss the darkness now.
I sat my laptop to the side as I rose to my feet and wandered up the stairs to my bunk, shuffling through my bag a few minutes until I found the small gold pendant I was looking for.
I shouldn't have kept it, it probably was more of an insult to her then anything, but when I'd murdered Geneva, I'd ripped this from her throat as a keepsake; it had been a gift from her mother, something she had treasured more then anything else in the world, and I'd taken it from her as she bled to death on the wood floor of her home.
So I'd been an asshole from the very beginning, sue me.
I let it dangle in my fingers.
I wished I could make up for what I did to her, ripping her life away from her just because I couldn't control my feelings. There was no excuse for what I'd done, and the sin of murdering her had been the one to trap me here and not let me fade to oblivion.
I'd been like Kenali in the beginning, most of us were, not quite sure what we were doing here, not wanting to sin, still wanting to be obedient despite we'd Fallen.
That went away with time, and it would with her as well.
Nothing lasted forever, I'd learned that the hard way.
I looked down at the pendant again with a sigh, and let it fall back into my bag.
I punished myself by bringing it with me everywhere I went, I knew that. The thing was ancient, crudely made, but it was also over two thousand years old.
It would never mean anything to anyone but me.
And all it meant was pain.
I tossed it back in my bag in aggravation, hearing the guys all laugh downstairs.
Kenali loved Andiel, she always would, but when he left her alone in this shithole, she would be broken, want to go dark and destroy everything around her, and I at least owed it to her to be there when it happened.
I would help her through it, her anger and pain and her hatred.
Because I'd been through all of it myself already.
It would pass.
Just like everything else did.
Some of us just needed a little prodding in the right direction.
It had taken two thousand years for me to realize I wasn't over all of those feelings yet, it had taken her arriving to show me that there was still something to look forward too.
Not much, and it would take a very long time, but....
Nothing lasts forever.
Her feelings for him wouldn't last forever.
They never did.

Notes