My Fallen Angel

"So, red or blue?" CC asked me, and I bit my lip, unable to decide between the koolaids.
"Surprise me," I ordered, stretched out on the couch. I had my feet in Andys lap as he read through a magazine, looking bored.
So far our relationship was down key, and no one was questioning us or making faces when we disappeared off together for several hours, "shopping."
We did shop a little.
The London shirt I wore was from our shopping.
I took the red drink from CC with a smile and sipped it.
"Ugh! This is disgusting," I shoved it back in his hands. "It tastes like powder."
"What?" CC frowned at me and sipped it himself. "It tastes fine."
"Tastes like powder."
"Fine, I'll drink it," he rolled his eyes at me as he walked to the fridge and tossed a water at me instead. "Weirdo."
I wrinkled my nose at him.
It had tasted bad.
I heard footsteps overhead and stiffened, quickly pulling my legs from Andys lap as I heard Ashlandil start down the stairs. I jerked the magazine from Andys hands and stared down at it, pretending I was doing something.
Andy sighed at me, pulling his phone from his pocket and flicking through it instead.
Ashlandil yawned as he got to the bottom of the stairs, looking worn out, black bruises under his eyes.
Why he wasn't feeding properly was beyond me, but I could still smell the blood on him from the other night, and I curled my nose at the awful scent.
Humans tasted terrible.
"Did you hear about that girl getting murdered?" I heard Jake ask from the front. "It was the night of our concert. The paper said someone ripped her to shreds."
"Yeah, I read that. Glad we're not there anymore," Jinxx murmured, texting his girlfriend.
I raised my eyes accusingly to Ashlandil, seeing he was already looking at me.
He sent me a wink as he sipped a cup of coffee, letting me know real quick who had murdered that poor girl.
I glared at him, tightening my hands on the magazine.
How could he take someones life so casually?
I pressed my lips into a tight line, trying not to become angry over something I couldn't help.
But how could he? How could he love hurting another person so much? The police would never find who murdered her, would never get justice for the poor thing.
I couldn't stand it!
I threw the magazine at him, hitting him square in the face as he turned around.
"Fuck! What the hell?" he demanded as it fell from his face.
"How could you?" I hissed. "You're such a bastard!"
"And you're a bitch, but I don't throw shit at you," he grunted, glaring at me.
I didn't have anything else to throw at him or I would have.
"Uh, can you guys not do that right now?" CC sent us an annoyed look. "The interviewer will be here any minute and you two breaking out into a fist fight isn't going to be a positive opening."
Andy lightly touched my calf, and I glanced at him.
He gave me a smile, squeezing lightly before removing his hand and looking back at his phone.
I sighed huffily, forcing myself to calm down.
We all glanced over as the door opened and Cronus stepped inside, having to lean down so he wouldn't bump his head. I rose to my feet, letting him sit on the couch as I took the arm.
"Interviewer is here," he grunted, and seconds later someone knocked on the door.
"How does he do that?" CC muttered as he opened it, greeting the woman as she stepped inside, glancing at everyone with a friendly smile.
All the guys gathered together, leaving me and Cronus on the couch by ourselves. He scrolled on his phone, and I leaned against his shoulder so I wouldn't fall down, chuckling at the comic he showed me.
"What's that one?" I pointed over his shoulder and he scrolled back up on the site (reddit? What did that word mean?)
I giggled, seeing the small moving characters do silly things across the screen, and Cronus lips twitched, amused.
"Excuse me?"
We both looked over, seeing the interviewer and all the guys looking at us.
"Um, yes?" What did she want?
"You're Ashleys girlfriend, aren't you? A Kenna something?"
I stiffened.
"Yeah," Ashlandil answered after a moment, and I cut my eyes at him, seeing his fists clenched tightly.
"Why don't you and your friend join the interview?" she smiled at us, her eyes lingering at Cronus.
He raised his brows at me and I shrugged, both of us standing and walking to the edge of their group, acutely aware of the camera in her hands.
"So, why don't you introduce yourselves for the camera?" she smiled, pointing it at us.
Um.
I looked at Ashlandil nervously and he shrugged.
Right.
"I'm Kenna, and this is --- my cousin Cronus," I mumbled, and he nodded.
"And what do you guys do for Black Veil Brides?"
Why did she have to keep asking us questions?
"Cronus is our bodyguard," Jake said, seeing how uncomfortable we were. "He scares off basically anyone who gives us a dirty look."
"Yeah, one guy was threatening us one time over saying we worshipped Satan or something, and Cronus literally just looked at him and he fainted," CC grinned. "Security had to carry him out."
The interviewer chuckled.
"And Kenna? Are you still the mom of the group?" she asked me, and I vaguely remembered someone saying that in the only other interview I'd ever appeared in.
"I suppose you could say that," I forced a smile. "Not that any of them ever listen to me."
They all chuckled.
I tugged at the end of my skirt, suddenly wishing I'd worn something else the way the interviewer was dissecting me; was it too short? Not the right color?
Why was she looking at me like she wanted to study me in a lab or something?
"Um, what were some of the questions?" Andy suddenly asked with a frown.
"Oh, right, um," the interviewer looked down into her lap at her notebook, and I sent Andy a thankful smile.
He returned it.
"Well, thank you guys for answering!" she said thirty minutes later, everyone relaxed as she actually got to doing her job. "I know you're awfully busy."
"It was no problem," Jake told her, and she stood, laughing with them.
"Oh, before I go! There's a lot of fans wanting to see pictures of you two!"
Two who?
Two us?
Oh no.
"Of us?" Ashlandil looked a little startled, and we looked at each other.
"Yes! The only anything of the two of you is in one interview, amd fans actually wanted pictures."
Fuck the fans, no way.
"Just a couple," she assured us, practically shoving me and Ashlandil to each other, the entire room suddenly turning tense, the guys all looking at each other in worry.
"Say cheese!" the interviewer ordered, snapping a few pictures. "And how about one of you two kissing?"
"No ---."
"Sure ---."
I looked at Ashlandil, seeing a bitter smile on his face. He slipped his arm over my shoulder, squeezing painfully.
"Why not, Kenna? There should be more pictures of your pretty face." he told me tightly, and I could have punched him.
"Just one," she assured us. "And it'll be quick."
But painful.
"Okay," Ashlandil sent her his dazzling smile as he turned me in his arms before I could fathom to speak, and I caught Andys furious eyes over his shoulder seconds before he kissed me, cupping my face firmly between his hands.
He kissed me gently, but he poured all of his emotions into it, overwhelming me.
I could feel all his love and loathing all at once, and I curled my hands into his shirt, my heart aching.
His tongue teased my lips before slipping between them, caressing my own. I unconsciously leaned forward into him, emotions swirling uncontrollably through my mind, confusing me.
I didn't know what either of us were feeling anymore, who's emotion was whose --- everything was a jumble.
Ashley pulled away with a self-satisfied smile, leaving me breathless.
"Uh, wow, you guys," the interviewer was blushing as she looked at us. "That... Was intense. You guys really do care about each other if that kiss says anything."
This was mortifying.
The guys thanked her and let her off the bus, and an awkward silence ensued as soon as the door closed.
I punched him as hard as I could in the arm, making him yell and dart to the side.
"Don't you ever do that again!" I hissed at him, feeling tears well in my eyes.
How could he do that, confuse me like that?
I turned on my heel and rushed up the stairs, a pain I couldn't understand radiating in my chest.


Ashlandil

"That was shitty, man," CC frowned at me. "you didn't need to do that. You really upset her."
Oh, but I had needed to do that.
That had definitely needed to be done.
I sent Andy a smirk over my shoulder, his eyes blazing angrily at me. He'd needed to be reminded who she belonged too; I'd been able to smell him on her skin for days, I knew they'd slept together, but he needed to know he wasn't the only one who could make her melt.
I started away from them and headed up the stairs toward my bunk, pleased with myself.
I'd always loved that soft little moan she made after a good kiss, and I'd missed it. I knew I'd been a bastard when I threw all my feelings at her, but I'd needed her compliant, confused.
She never would've kissed me like she meant it otherwise.
And I'd liked watching her leave in that skirt.
I chuckled to myself as I topped the stairs and made it to my bunk. I pulled my phone off the charger, and then felt something connect with the side of my face hard enough to bruise.
"You're such a bastard!"
What was with her and throwing things at me?
I glanced over at her in annoyance, and turned to face her.
"You could have stopped me."
"Not when you play dirty!"
"Oh, I haven't even begun to play dirty," I grinned at her, enjoying the anger on her face.
Go ahead, hate me. It'll make all of this easier in the end.
"How could you, Ashlandil?" she demanded, keeping the length of three bunks between us. "You did that to be cruel!"
"Of course I did!" I snorted. "I wouldn't have done it for any other reason then to throw it in Andys face he's not the only one who can make you moan."
She stared at me, realizing I knew.
"I can smell him on you, Kenali. You took in his aura, it's all over your skin," I wrinkled my nose. "It'll take forever to get that to go away."
She clenched her fists angrily, but I really didn't care all that much.
Murdering that girl a few days had really brought out my darkness again, and it helped me deal with my emotions, made them less powerful, and I was almost completely indifferent.
It was great.
I wanted to stay this way forever.
"Ashlandil, please, just... Stop it." she stared at me, her violet gaze pleading as she deflated, the anger leaving her body. "Just let this be. It doesn't have to be this way."
"It does," I disagreed instantly, covering the distance between us in seconds. She jumped, startled, and I lifted a strand of her soft hair, the scent of strawberries assaulting me.
I missed her scent.
I missed her sweet, soft kisses.
I let her hair drop from my fingers like she'd scalded me.
Merely touching her made the darkness go away, the feelings rise, and I hated it.
"A-Ashlan?" she questioned as I just stood there, gazing at her sadly.
I hesitated, and for the millionth time I wished things were different, that she cared for me as she did him, that it wouldn't be like this, that I wasn't such a monster.
I felt Kenalis hand suddenly press against my heart, and my eyes shot warily to her face.
She didn't voluntarily touch me anymore.
She was supposed to hate me.
I needed her too.
"Ashlan," she murmured, looking suddenly stricken. "Please, I --- I don't want it like this between us, fighting all the time. It doesn't... I mean," she took a deep breath as she tried to find her words, "we can be friends, you know."
I couldn't, it hurt too much.
"You know I can't do that," I said softly, my hand covering hers softly. "I'm that not that good of a person, sweetheart."
"But you can be, I've seen it." her eyes searched mine. "You can be such a kind hearted being, why do you fight it?"
"Because it hurts too much." the words left my lips before I realized I'd said them, and I could literally see Kenali soften.
She reached up, cupping my face between her cool fingers, and I sighed, leaning eagerly into her touch.
"It only hurts because you let it," she told me softly, stroking my cheeks. "You can be so much better, you know that. Please, Ashlan."
She had to use the nickname.
I let my eyes drift open, the soft red meeting her gaze.
I didn't know if I could or not.
But what the hell? I could at least try.
Try for her.
Not like I could lose anything else, right?
I had nothing left to give her, or anyone else.
"Kiss me," I whispered, my gaze not leaving hers. "Just one last time, and I'll never ask or bother you again, I swear to you."
Kenali hesitated, but she could sense I was sincere.
She lifted her lips to mine after a moment, surprising me; I figured she would have told me off.
I pulled her against me, letting my hand tangle eagerly in her hair as I held her. I turned, pressing her against the wall of the bus, my tongue tracing her lips like she liked.
Her fingers tightened in my shirt as her lips parted, allowing me entrance, and I pressed firmer against her, my hand slipping into the bare skin of her hip as she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me back finally, as if she couldn't help herself.
She moaned softly, and goosebumps rose on my skin.
I never wanted to stop kissing her, I wanted this moment to last forever.
But it couldn't, and when I couldn't take anymore without knowing I would take it to far, I pulled my lips from hers, making both of us gasp for air.
I held her tightly for a moment, knowing I would never get her this close again, and she clung to me, probably feeling my emotions and letting them take over; she really needed to work on that.
"I love you," I whispered softly in her ear. I pressed my lips against her cheek, then pulled away from her, feeling empty.
Kenali stared at me, looking off balanced.
"Ashlandil --- "
"Don't," I shook my head, turning away from her. "Just don't."
I couldn't take anymore right now.

Notes