Ashlandil

I sat on the couch, running a hand over my scruffy jaw.
What the absolute fucking fuck?
Fuck!
I scowled at the laptop in my lap. I was transferring some more money again, my screen cracked at the top from where I had dropped it last time running to that bitchs rescue.
I felt guilt immediately.
Jesus, I couldn't even call her names without suffering for it.
And I was starting to worry at this point at how hungry I was becoming. Why couldn't that girl please me? Why hadn't that worked? It had never failed me before...
I glanced up as my girl started down the stairs, lost in her own thoughts, her red hair curly and loose around her shoulders the way I liked it; she could unconsciously make me want her so badly....
Fuck.
I could see Andy staring at her from the corner of my eye, her smooth legs gleaming in the pale light of the bus lamps, her shorts showing them off admirably.
I would punch Andy in the balls if he didn't stop looking at her.
He must have noticed my furious stare, because he quickly looked down.
He didn't get to look at her like that.
Only I could look at her like that, dammit.
She ignored me like usual, going to the kitchenette and pouring herself some hot chocolate someone had made earlier; I kept forgetting she'd never had the small things like that, and I was starting to miss the wondering looks on her face when she experienced something new.
"I haven't missed England," I heard Jake saying, interrupting my train of thoughts. "I hate the weather here."
"It's so cold and damp," CC complained. "Why would anyone want to live here?"
"At least this part of it is decent," Jinxx interjected before their whining escalated. "There's sunshine."
"And potholes." Andy grumbled, holding a tissue to his nose.
He still wasn't over his cold, though at this rate I hoped he got fucking pneumonia.
I glanced up at Kenali over the screen of my computer, seeing her dropping some colored marshmallows in her cup. She looked up, and I followed her gaze to Andy.
I narrowed my eyes, feeling anger settle in the pit of my stomach.
Had she moved on that quickly?
He smiled at her, and she blushed, looking away quickly, a small smile on her lips.
FUCK.
I slammed my laptop closed and tossed it to the side as I rose to my feet, clenching my jaw.
I would kill him.
I stalked forward and grabbed her arm, jerking her after me and almost making her spill her drink everywhere; it barely made it to the counter.
"Wh --- Ashley!" she protested, trying to strain away from me.
"Shut up!" I snarled, dragging her up the stairs behind me, hearing a hush start over the bus.
Those fuckers could mind their own business.
How fucking dare she? How dare he?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND.
I shoved her away from me and she staggered, looking shocked.
"What is WRONG with you?" she gasped as she caught her balance, turning to face me down between all the bunks.
"You're fucking him, aren't you?" I demanded, the rage rolling through my stomach like a viper ready to strike.
"What?" she looked startled.
"You've been fucking Andy this entire time!"
I was so hurt.
"I have not!"
"You have! I saw the way he looked at you!"
I was so hurt, and I didn't know why.
How could she sleep with him so soon? It had barely been over a week since we --- since I ---.
Goddammit!
"Ashlandil, I'm not sleeping with anyone!" she hissed at me, her eyes flaring violet. "I'm not even hungry! How could I be after what you did to me?"
No, I was sick of feeling guilty.
"You enjoyed every second of it," I hissed at her, making her face flush. "Don't try to guilt me for making you cum so hard you could barely walk! You were begging me not to stop!"
She smacked me.
I hissed as my cheek stung, and I turned my gaze back to her face, mottled with rage.
"Don't talk to me that way!" she nearly screamed at me. "I hate it when you belittle me like that! You can't throw things in my face anymore and expect me to take it!"
I clenched my jaw, glaring stubbornly at her.
I wasn't going to apologize for being me.
"You can't bully me, Ashlandil! You forced yourself on me because you had to dominate me, make me be in pain because you can't handle rejection --- and I'll never forgive you for it! If I want to sleep with someone else, YOU CANT STOP ME!"
"LIKE HELL I CANT!"
I would rip anyone's head off if they so much as looked at her!
She glared at me, her fists clenched in frustration. I didn't want her with Andy, I didn't want her with anyone but me --- only I could make her feel good! Only I could bring her the type of pleasure she needed so badly to be sated.
No one else!
I took a step towards her, and she scrambled away from me immediately, her face pinching.
I froze, feeling all the rage immediately drain away from me.
She was scared of me.
She didn't... She was afraid I would...
I felt the blood leave my face.
And I probably would, because she was the only one I wanted, the only one who could sate ME.
Goddammit.
I was so selfish, was this even about her?
I turned away from her immediately, restraining my temper.
"Go." I muttered, closing my eyes.
"Ash ---."
"GET THE FUCK OUT!"
She squeaked, then shot past me, her scent flaring through my nose.
Strawberries.
I opened my eyes.
I was hungry again.

Notes