Ashlandil

"All of them, from one to ten. Luckily, some of them don't apply. We don't have parents," I shrugged, rubbing her arms to keep her calm. "And lying is a given, and I suppose Andy works for covet and adultery."
She looked away uncomfortably.
Let's see, what were all of them?

You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make idols.
You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
You shall not covet.

"You only need to worship another god or idol, murder a human, and steal something, I guess. See? None of them are that bad." I said brightly, ignoring her horrified expression.
They were all pretty easy, once you got fed up with the big guys bullshit.
"I'm not doing those," she muttered, pulling away from me. "I can't. I can't take someones life from them."
"You will eventually, love," I sighed, caressing her face. "You might not mean too, but we all slip up. And you don't have to break all of them immediately ---."
"No!"
"Kenali, we all do!" I caught her arms as she tried to pull away from me. "It's a given for when you Fall! You knew this wouldn't be easy!"
"But it wasn't supposed to be like this!" she wrenched away from me, the most upset I had seen her in quite some time. "No one says it's like this!"
"Kenali ---."
"I won't do it," she burst fiercely, turning to glare at me like it was all my fault. "I won't do it, Ashlandil. I'd rather ---."
"You will die," I hissed, cutting her off. "You'll turn into a pillar of sand and then collapse just like Theda, just like Raza, just like all the other poor bastards who were just as stubborn as you and too pure for their own good! Now you're fucking going to break them or ---."
"You'll what?" she snapped, turning to face me completely, narrowing her violet gaze on me. "What will you do, Ashlandil?"
I had no idea, I couldn't do shit, and I knew that. But my threats used to be so much more effective against her then they were now.
Going dark had seemed to give her a little more confidence, it seemed.
I scowled at her, and ran my hands through my hair. "I just don't want anything to happen to you, you know that."
"You need to stop caring so much," she blurted, and then frowned at herself, as if she hadn't mean to say it like that.
Still, my chest tightened painfully.
"Why do you say that?" I asked, letting my hands drop to my sides.
She hesitated, aburptly losing all of her fervor.
"I didn't mean it like that," she mumbled, looking down at her hands. "It came out wrong."
"I don't think it did," I stiffened, staring her down. "What the fuck did you mean by it?"
Did she ... know?
She glanced up at me guiltily, letting me know full well she knew how I felt about her after all.
I took a step back, and her eyes widened.
"Please, Ashlandil, wait, I ---."
"You don't have to bother," I hissed, smacking her hand away from me. "Don't fucking touch me."
"But, Ashlan! Stop, please ---."
I couldn't, I couldn't be around her right now, not with this angry ache in my chest.
I was in love with her and she knew it, but she didn't, or rather couldn't, love anyone other then Andiel, the pathetic, two-timing piece of shit that didn't know how good he had it.
I felt the pain of rejection rise in my chest, just like it had thousands of centuries ago with Geneva.
And I'd torn her to pieces in my rage.
"Ashlandil!" Kenali abruptly grabbed me and whirled, slamming me against the wall of the bus and forcing me out of my thoughts.
"Don't you go there!" she ordered, clasping my face between her cold hands, her violet eyes all I could see. "Please. I do care for you, I do, please don't think I don't. It's just ---."
"Not the same way," I sighed, interrupting her. She hesitated, and I could tell she wanted to spare my feelings in every way, but it didn't matter to me.
She didn't love me.
She never would.
I was wasting my fucking time.
I shoved her away from me, feeling a swell of anger again. I didn't want to be this way, I didn't want to hurt her, but I had never dealt well with this type of pain; I was a physical being, not a emotional one.
And at that moment I hated her, wanting nothing more but to make her feel the same overbearing pain that I did.
She stared at me, her fingers bunching around the hem of her shirt.
"If you want to hurt me, go ahead, but that doesn't change how I feel," she said after a moment, her voice soft as she gazed into my eyes, never backing down. "I love you, Ashlandil, but... I only have room for one in my heart, and he's already ruined what is left of it. So if you want to rip it out, it would be more of a blessing."
She shook her head, and I stared at her, my fists clenched.
What the hell was she talking about?
He was so in love with her it was sickening.
Even after Cronus had intervened in his mind, I still caught Andy looking at Kenali with confused longing, unsure why he wanted her so badly and she had never done anything to promote it, that he remembered at least.
I shook my head; I couldn't handle this right now.
"Where are you going?" she stepped in front of me as I reached for the door. "We have to talk about this!"
"We don't have to talk about shit!" I snapped. "You've made everything pretty fucking clear!"
"No!" she pressed her back against the door as I started to open it, forcing it to close again. "You can't leave."
"If I don't leave, one of two things will happen," I growled, eyeing her, my chest heaving with my attempt not to lose my boiling temper. "I will hurt you, Kenali, and I will make sure you feel every single painful thing I do to you. Do you understand? I'm not an angel anymore, I murdered the first being I ever cared for. You KNOW that. Now get the fuck out of the way!"
"I won't let you leave like this!" she slapped my hand as I went for the handle again, and I growled, grabbing her wrist and squeezing it tightly.
"Stop, Kenali!"
"You stop! Why are you so mad? You knew from the very beginning ---."
"Because I'm so fucking stupid!" I shouted, losing it. "I fucking knew how you felt about that piece of shit, but I still fell for you! I hate how I feel, goddammit! I HATE IT! I DON'T WANT TO FEEL AGAIN."
I slammed her against the door, my fingers curling around the front of her shirt as I felt my glamour melt away, my darkness seeping through as I started to lose control of everything.
"Ashlan, stop!" she gasped, eyes widening.
Fear flashed through her features for a moment, and then her hands curled around my collar. She jerked my face down to hers, her lips desperately crushing mine as she tried to bring me back from the brink.
But I didn't want to come back.
Her sin wasn't going to help her.
I wanted to kill everyone on this bus and more, just so I wouldn't have to feel this pain in my chest anymore... not again.
I had murdered villages before the pain had started to lessen.
But the guilt...
The guilt never went away....
And this PAIN....
No!
I growled and jerked back, sending her flying away from the door and into my chest. I lifted her up and rammed her into the wall, hearing her hiss in pain.
I ripped the front of her shirt open, the sound of the material tearing setting me off even more.
I needed chaos, I NEEDED destruction.
"You're mine," I snarled, wrenching her head back and forcing her frightened eyes to mine. "You belong to me, not him!"
"Ashlan ---," she gasped, but I crushed her lips against mine, not giving her a chance to speak. I forced myself between her thighs, feeling her press against my shoulders, trying to stop me, but I didn't care what she wanted anymore.
This is what I wanted for once.
And her struggles only made it better for me.
"S-stop," she gasped, squirming away from me the best she could, pressed between me and the wall. "Ashlandil, stop it!"
But I wouldn't stop, not until she knew who she belonged too. SHE WAS MINE.
I growled again, sounding more animal then person now, and whirled her around. I forced her face first against the wall, and ripped her jeans literally into shreds.
I wanted her, right now, and she didn't have a say so in the matter.
I'd been bending my will to hers for far too long, I wasn't going to do it anymore.
I grabbed her hips and forced them back, and then rammed inside her, forcing a cry out of her throat, her nails raking down the wall of the bus, whether in pain or pleasure I didn't care.
I had to make sure she knew exactly who she answered to.
My fingers tangled in her hair, and I used it as leverage as I rammed myself as deeply as was possible, feeling her walls clench around me at each thrust, her pain quickly turning to lust as her sin caught up with me.
I forced her flat against the wall again, hearing her gasps turn into moans quickly.
Only I could please her this way, only I could make her cum so hard she couldn't breathe!
My claws raked through the tender flesh of her hips, and the scent of her blood made both of us more excited.
I pulled out of her abruptly, forcing her around to face me. I jerked one knee over my arm as I returned to her folds, and she moaned, her fingers curling into my hair, her violet eyes seeming to burn mine as they met.
"Is this all you got?" she gasped, challenging me, and I narrowed my burning gaze.
She wanted it worse, I had no problem giving it to her.
I turned, lifting her up against me as I took several steps back to the bunk, literally throwing her on it and not caring how she landed. I was over her immediately, my hand curling around her throat as I held her still, my fingers seeking out her damp core.
She was wet for me, just like I knew she would be.
She could pretend to be an angel all she wanted, but she had the heart of a devil, just like I did.
I forced three fingers inside her, and she gave a pained sound, her nails tearing through the sheets of the bed.
I leaned down, tearing her bra in half with my fangs, exposing her breasts.
"Ah, Ashlandil ---," she started, her body wanting to cum, but I refused; she didn't have that pleasure until I said so.
I pulled my fingers out of her, and caught her breast in my mouth, my teeth teasing the tender mounds, and her fingers tightened in my hair.
I let my nails dig into her thighs as I left bite marks on her chest, piercing the skin and letting blood bead to the surface.
She hissed at me, and I caught a flash of her own sharpened teeth before she arched her back, my fingers teasing her clit.
I knew how to control her, and I wanted her to beg me for release.
I would have my way with her, she didn't have the power here.
She groaned, and my hand tightened around her throat as I forced myself inside her again, forcing her thighs wide.
She pressed her fingers against my chest, and I could tell she wanted me to stop, but her mind was too abuzz with sinful pleasure; she knew what I was doing, what I was going to do to her, but her sin was overriding her judgement, just like I knew it would; she hadn't learned to control it like I had.
I gave a vicious grin.
She was mine to control right now.
She would ALWAYS be mine.
I leaned down, catching her lips, my grip on her throat laxing; she gasped against my lips as she was suddenly able to breathe, and my tongue swept into her mouth, the sound of us mating rushing through my ears.
I squeezed her breasts painfully, hearing her moan, and her walls started to clench around me again; this time, I didn't stop, just rammed into her hips so hard she had to brace against the wall or slam into it herself.
I didn't want to be gentle with her, I wanted her to feel pain, just like I did.
I would never be gentle with her again.
She came with a scream I'm sure everyone on the bus heard, and pleasure welled through me, and I came hard, filling her completely with my seed.
I moaned as I leaned over her, panting, her exhausted and bruised form limp beneath mine.
Sweat covered our bodies, but I wasn't done with her, not until I made sure she knew.
She could NEVER care for anyone else.
Or even be with them without thinking of me when I was done.
I pulled out of her, and she closed her thighs with a grimace, wanting to roll away from me.
I caught her wrists, forcing them together, and her eyes flashed to mine, her temper sparking.
"No," she hissed at me. "That's enough, Ashlan!"
"It won't be enough," I snarled, my teeth scraping her throat warningly. "It will never be enough until you admit you're mine!"
"You're ---."
"I want you begging beneath me," I whispered in her ear, feeling her stiffen. "I want you so compliant you have to beg me to let you cum, do you understand? You're not going to get any peace from me, my little angel. Not until you admit you're mine."
She jerked away from me immediately, and I ignored the hurt on her face, not caring how she felt, despite it made my chest ache more.
Which made me angry all over again.
"Get off me!" she hissed, her eyes flaring as her darkness started up. I ignored her, forcing her to roll onto her stomach, her face pressing into the pillow as I let my tongue run across the back of her neck, goosebumps rising on her skin.
I finished ripping what was left of her clothing off, and caught her wrists again, binding them with the ruined shirt; she could easily tear through it if she wanted.
"You're going to obey me, Kenali," I murmured in her ear, her body trembling and reacting to my every touch, her senses heightened as her darkness rose to meet mine, black and red swirls starting to crawl all over her skin, which was becoming hot to the touch as her anger grew as well.
"Stop this!" She hissed at me over her shoulder, starting to rise up. I forced her face back down, my fingers biting into the skin of her neck.
I let my other hand slide through the dampness of her core again, and she shivered involuntarily.
I chuckled, my fangs aching to taste her blood.
I wanted to humiliate her, dominate her.
I wanted her to love me.
My nails abruptly sliced through her skin at the thought, and she gave a cry of pain, black blood beading to the surface. I leaned down, letting my tongue run across it, and her eyes flared at me again.
She would get me back for this, for that I had no doubt.
I slipped my fingers back inside her, and she ground her teeth, her body sensitive and sore already.
But it didn't take long for her to become wet again; she was cursed with a sin she had no control over, and it didn't matter if she wanted this or not, her body sure as hell did.
I grinned, and pulled my dripping fingers out of her, letting them coast to her ass.
She gasped and jerked as I inserted one finger inside, and her toes curled as I slipped a second, her tender muscles clenching at the unfamiliar invasion.
"What are you ---!?"
"Shh," I murmured, letting her wetness coat my length.
She moaned as I upped my pace, and her face reddened. She buried it into the pillow, and I positioned my hips, slowly forcing myself inside her ass, inch by inch until I was all the way.
She whimpered, and I let my hand slip back to her clit, massaging it, distracting her from the uncomfortable pain as I started moving. It wasn't long until she was writhing under me again, enjoying every stroke I made, her ass squeezing me, and I groaned, feeling myself close.
"Kenali," I gasped, feeling the muslces of her core tremble around my fingers where I pumped them inside her, claiming both places.
"Harder!" she moaned. "Please, Ashlan, harder!"
I increased my pace until I was sure she would break beneath the pressure, and I was getting sloppy, missing strokes. She suddenly took control from me, ramming her hips back against mine, stretching herself farther to accomodate me with cries so dark I was going to cum quicker.
I leaned down, pressing kisses against the swirls on her back, my fingers teasing her, her wetness practically covering my hand.
"Ah!" She suddenly arched her back, and I stopped immediately, not wanting her to cum just yet.
She panted, her body shaking, and I started again, forcing myself deep inside of her each stroke, knowing it probably wasn't the most comfortable feeling but not caring anymore.
I groaned, and she clawed at the sheets, her wrists still bound.
Her second orgasm wasn't going to come as easy as her first, and went I felt her clench around my fingers, I stopped again, and she snarled in frustration.
"You're gonna have to beg for it, Kenali," I breathed, pumping my hips against hers roughly, wanting to cum so badly but refusing.
"Fuck you to hell, Ashlandil!" She screeched at me, ripping through her bonds and rising to her hands.
I grinned, the new angle easier for me, and she gave another cry of pleasure as my hand wailed down onto the tender flesh of her ass, leaving bright red marks behind.
"Beg for it!" I hissed at her as her ass squeezed me again, and I throbbed, wanting to release so badly it hurt. I wrenched my hand into her hair, and she gave a whimper, squeezing her beautiful eyes shut.
"Please," she finally gasped, my fingers pumping inside her with the same rhythm as my lenght. "Oh God, please!"
"Louder! Say it!"
"Let me cum!" she finally cried. "Please, Ashlandil!"
I flexed my fingers against her already bruised skin, not satisfied yet. I was throbbing, swollen and starting to feel worn, but I didn't want to give in, not just yet.
"Who do you belong too, Kenali?" I growled, needing to hear it.
Her eyes flashed to mine over her shoulder, and I jerked on her hair, a hiss coming from her lips.
"You," she choked out after a moment, my fingers squeezing her clit the way that always drove her crazy. "I belong to you!"
"Good girl," I breathed, and rammed inside her, forcing her back down onto her chest as I came hard again, she giving another loud scream as she came with me, coating my hand as I filled her ass with more of me.
I collapsed over her, panting, and she groaned, completely spent.
I was exhausted, and I couldn't even feel hurt or anger at this point, which is what I had been going for.
I pulled myself out of her, and crawled off the bed, quickly buckling my jeans; I had never gotten out of any of my clothes, where hers lay shredded and ruined along the floor.
I glanced at her on the bed, wanting to just leave her there like that, let her feel used and dejected and violated, but I couldn't.
I sighed, and grabbed the tissues, crawling up beside her and cleaning her off quickly, she glaring at me from the pillow, which was shredded, feathers sprawling across the bed and in her hair.
She grimaced as I touched her, and I glanced over her body, seeing the scratches and brusies, red marks that would turn into bruises.
Her body looked like a battleground.
I grabbed one of my T shirts and sat her up, slipping it over her head.
"I'm sorry," I whispered after a moment, shame gripping my chest as I looked at her. "I'm so sorry."
She just turned away from me, curling up on the bed and burying her face on the pillow again.
My eyes burned, and I crawled in beside her, curling her against my chest tightly.
"I'm so sorry, Kenali, I'm so sorry," I repeated, feeling her hot tears against my chest.
What the hell was wrong with me?

Notes