Ashlandil

Where were they? I couldn't find Kenali or Andy anywhere, and I was starting to worry.
I'd called him at least seven times, and CC just kept looking at me pityingly, as if he just knew they'd run off together to have sex and she was going to leave me for him.
Dumbass.
I called Andy again, my chest tightening in worry, but it just rang to voicemail, and I listened to his stupid voice tell me to leave a message.
I'd leave a message in his skull if he didn't tell me where my woman was.
I prowled the length of the bus restlessly, Jake watching me in annoyance as I thundered past him repeatedly.
"I'm sure they're fine, Ashley, calm down," he muttered, texting his woman.
"It's not like her to run off," I mumbled, anxiety welling in me.
I glanced at my phone as it buzzed, Andys name rising to the screen, and I jerked it angrily to my ear as I stalked to the door.
"Where the fuck are you, you son of a bitch?" I growled, hopping onto the cold concrete of the alley the bus was parked in.
"Oooo, is that how you greet all of your friends?"
I froze.
"Seraphine."
"Yep! Have you missed me? Or better question, are you missing someone else?" her voice giggled, and my throat tightened.
"Where are they, you sick bitch?" I growled, feeling the red in my eyes flare out.
"Oh, I have them with me. Poor Kenali never stood a chance against the two of us, did she, Theda?"
"You let her fucking go or I swear I'll rip your head off your shoulders!"
"You'll have to do better then that, Ashlandil." Seraphine snorted. "Your threats are hollow these days; even I know Kenali being here has made you into a big softy. You might have killed Raza for her, but it's gonna be a lot harder to kill the rest of us. You traitor."
"I'm not traitor, you psychotic cunt! You're the one attacking your own kind over a fucking grudge no one even remembers!"
"I remember," she hissed abruptly, and even from where I stood I could feel the venom in her voice. "I Fell because of that bastard and I will never forgive him! He might get a free ride down here on this damned earth, but the rest of us don't! What gives him any right, huh? And what gives you the right to protect him? You've kept him from me for far too long, Ashlandil. Besides," she suddenly sounded smug, "now I have something you want as well."
"And what's that?" I asked sarcastically, making sure the tremble my heart felt wasn't in my voice.
"Your precious little Kenali here," she clucked. "My, her head would make such a good decoration in my house if our corpses didn't turn into stone and shatter. Is there any particular part of her you would like to keep as a memento?"
"If you so much as pluck a hair off her head ---."
"You'll what? Yell at me?" She sneered. "You'll have to find us first."
"Did you call to taunt me or tell me where you are?" I spat, furious. "Theda wants me right? So where the fuck are you?"
She giggled again, and rattled off an address, telling me they were in a warehouse at the docks I hadn't been too since 1865.
Maybe it hadn't changed too much.
"You better hurry, Ashlandil," Seraphine purred in my ear, "I don't know how long I'll be able to keep myself from tearing their heads off."
And the phone clicked.
I was already moving, though, racing across the port town to Kenali, and Andiel.
Fuck how did they manage to get themselves into so much trouble all the time?
Don't worry, Kenali, I thought, rushing toward her, I'll find you.


Kenali

I could hear someone shouting.
I grimaced as pain riddled my skull, and the smell of salt met my nose as my senses returned. I could smell my blood in the air, which meant I was still bleeding from the wound they'd inflicted on my skull.
I wasn't foolish, I figured it was Seraphine or Theda who had attacked me.
How they had gotten into the venue and behind me, I wasn't sure, but I wasn't about to let them get the best of me.
I heard shouting again, and I cracked my eyes open, the bright lights hurting them.
Andiel?
He was blurry, and I could see him kneeling a good distance from me, his arms behind his back as he screamed angrily at someone, his white wings flaring in the background.
Andiel?
I raised my head slightly, feeling more blood run and sizzle down my face.
"Sleeping beauty awakes!" a chirpy voice announced, and my confused eyes roved to where Seraphine stood, her black hair glossy as it fell around her pointed face.
Andiels eyes swept fearfully to me.
No, I told myself, forcing myself into a sitting position, it was just Andy.
Andiel was gone again.
Someone's hand curled in my hair, dragging my head back, and I blinked, staring into Theda's hollow eyes.
"Theda?" I croaked, staring at her.
She looked so awful.
"Should we kill her now?" her broken voice asked, turning to look at Seraphine. "Or are you wanting to wait for Ashlandil?"
"No!" Andy bellowed, trying to get off his knees. "Don't fucking touch her, you crazy bitches!"
Theda abruptly appeared in front of him, her movement a mere blur to my vision.
"Speak again and I'll break your jaw," she hissed at him, and he stared at her, his human brain trying to figure out how she'd made it to his side so quickly.
"What are you doing?" I demanded, starting to get my bearings about me. "Are you two crazy? Ashlan will kill you!"
"He doesn't stand a chance against the two of us, dear," Seraphine clucked, trotting over to me in her six inch heels. "Just like you don't. You do realize you're at our mercy, right? You and Andiel both? Though the poor thing has the intelligence of a codfish right now."
He glared at her reproachfully.
"What does he have to do with anything?" I huffed, my legs numb. My hands were tied in front of me, but I could easily break through the ropes; they must not have realized I was in top shape again.
These were like strings on my wrists.
"He is the reason I Fell," Seraphine glared at him, and he just looked at her, not knowing who she was at all. "I Fell because that bastard said he would come with me."
"What are you talking about?" Andy muttered, obviously thinking they were crazy.
"What do you mean?" I frowned up at Seraphine.
She crouched down in front of me, her long red nail poking my cheek. "You're not the only one who was once in love with the majestic Andiel, Kenali, nor are you the only one stupid enough to Fall for him, too."
I stiffened, pulling away from her touch.
"Andiels been wanting to come to this world for a long time, he just didn't want to Fall. He finally finagled his way down here, I see, and he's still in His good graces." she sounded so bitter. "Where the rest of us are damned for eternity."
"Andiel would never ---."
Seraphine grabbed my chin painfully, her nails slicing through my skin.
"You don't know him as well as you think you do," she growled, my blood beading at her fingers. "He said he loved me, and I was foolish enough to believe him. He said we should Fall, so we could be together in the land of mortals; and so I did. I Fell to this forsaken land, but he didn't. He tricked me right out of Heaven."
"That's not... he would never!" I protested, feeling angry. "He would never do such a thing, you're lying!"
"Why would I lie?" she scoffed, letting go of me and straightening. "He told me to wait for him down here, and I did. I waited for a thousand years before I realized he wasn't coming to join me."
I stared at her.
Wait for me here, his words ran through my mind.
But no, he wouldn't do that.
She was lying!
I refused to believe her!
"You can't turn me against him with your pathetic lies!" I hissed at her, feeling my eyes flare their natural color as my temper riled. "I won't believe a single word you say!"
"You don't have to believe it to be true," Seraphine snapped at me, glancing over at where Andy knelt, Theda's hand on his shoulder to hold him in place, making him lean at the waist.
"I loved Andiel long before you did, Kenali," she sighed, looking sad, the first emotion I'd ever seen her sincerely express. "I loved him so much I Fell for him, and I waited, I waited like a fool for so long." She clenched her fists. "But he never came. And then I heard he'd come down as a mortal, by the grace of God," His name sizzled on her lips, "with all the fucking perks. And when I went after him, isn't it funny how you were so in love with him that you Fell the instant you saw his mortal life endangered? You Fell for a bastard, Kenali! We're more alike then you think."
I didn't believe her, I couldn't.
That would crush me.
"Kenna," Andy looked up at me, his baby blue eyes confused.
I stared at him, my eyes searching his.
That wasn't true.
It couldn't be true.
Please. Please don't let it be.
My throat tightened painfully.
He wouldn't leave me here by myself, I trusted him. I'd given up my home for him, fallen to this damned plain of sins for him, he wouldn't tell me he loved me... he wouldn't make me fall in love with him and moon over him for human centuries just to be prepared in case he got a chance to come down here.... he wouldn't....
But it all made so much sense, as well.
I had never doubted my feelings for him, I realized, but I had also never questioned if he felt the same way for me. I'd assumed he didn't, that I'd just been a foolish angel and had just fallen for his sweet ways while still in Heaven, not that he had planned it, finagled his way into my heart purposefully so that he could have a... a fall back protector in case he ever needed it.
I wanted to cry.
"It's not true," I whispered, looking down. "It can't be."
She was lying!
"Hurts to have your heart ripped out by betrayal, doesn't it?" Serpahine murmured, and she had pity in her eyes as she looked at me. "I know the feeling. So you can understand why I want nothing more then to ruin his chance here. I want to rip that devil heart right out of his chest and crush it in front of his eyes, let him see his human chance melt away right in front of him."
She glowered at Andy, and he looked at her, his eyes wide at her words. He strained against Theda, but her grip was like stone, and he wouldn't be able to get away from her.
"No," I mumbled, "no, he wouldn't... it's not true... I Fell...."
"It's hard to wrap your head around, but it makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? Lucky for you," Seraphine sighed, "you found someone else to care for you."
My eyes flicked up to hers.
She knew.
She gave me a slow grin. "Yes, I know Ashlandil is in love with you, Kenali. It's blaringly obvious to all of our kind. He's been fawning over you since you came down here; something about how sweet your intentions are, I believe." she rolled her eyes. "You're the first one he's loved since his human spurned him millenias ago."
His human?
I frowned at her.
I had never asked Ashlandil why he had Fallen, I had just assumed it was because he wanted to spend his time sinning and being with the mortals, enjoying their misery and their happiness, not because...
"He was in love with a mortal?"
Seraphine raised her artfully sculptured brows at me as she paced along the length of a row of boxes.
"He didn't tell you? Or rather you didn't ask?"
I looked away.
"Ugh, so caught up with your liar of a lover, you didn't ask the one being who ACTUALLY cares about you why he decided to Fall from grace," she clucked at me. "Selfish and cruel of you, don't you think?"
I glared at her.
"But yes, Ashlandil did love a mortal. He Fell back when they were still new, I believe; everyone then treasured him as a god," she snorted. "But then again, they thought all of us were gods, or monsters, whichever suited them at the time. I can't remember the girls name, she wasn't exactly much to look at, all red head and freckled and pale skinned."
She tilted her head as she looked at me. "My, she reminds me of you."
I wasn't impressed.
She chuckled, and continued to prowl impatiently, making me nervous.
"He was supposed to be her guardian angel, but instead he fell in love with her, and then he literally Fell to be with her, knowing her mortal years were numbered. And it turns out, as beautiful as he was to her, she didn't love him unless she was enamored." Seraphine finally paused by Theda, who had tears silently rolling down her cheeks. "And she spurned him for another mortal. He killed her in his rage, I think, strewed her limbs all over her little castle. That was the sin that planted him here permanently."
My eyes widened.
He'd commited the sin that I had planned.... It made so much more sense now why he had been so angry at me when I'd told him.
I had been going to do the exact same thing he had, taken the mortal life of the one I loved.
I slumped slightly, realizing the memories that must have brought back.
Oh, Ashlandil, I thought in anguish. My poor Ashlandil.
"Too bad his days are finally numbered now too," Seraphine mused, and my eyes cut to her face. "He never should have harmed Raza, right?"
Theda nodded slowly.
"He was all I had," she whispered. "All that made me happy. We'd been t-together for centuries. He made me feel like home was here." she whimpered.
Oh, Theda.
I dug my nails into my palm, wishing so strongly I could ease her pain.
"Killing Ashaln won't make that pain any better," I said after a moment. "You know that. If Raza had really crossed over, if he had really gone so dark he would become a Grimmer, then there was nothing else that could have been done, Theda."
"Shut up!" she hissed, and Andy gave a cry of pain as her hand clenched on his shoulder, making him double over in agony.
"Stop!" I shrieked, stumbling to my feet. "Don't hurt him!"
"How can you say that after he used you?" Seraphine looked like I'd slapped her, and she grabbed my hair, jerking my head back painfully. "Have you not been listening to me? He's betrayed you just like me!"
"I don't know that!"
"You're pathetic," she snarled, and dragged me forward, forcing me to my knees in front of him. She forced my head up where it was inches from his, his pain glazed eyes meeting mine.
"He lied to you, made you love him, took away your home and cursed you to Hell! How can you love him?"
Andys eyes searched mine, and he strained against their hold again, trying to get closer to me.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what was true anymore.
Would he really do that to me?
Doubt filled my heart.
But why would he love me as a human if that was true, knowing that it would tie me even closer to him and make it impossible to truly have a human life?
But then again, he knew how much I loved him, and he knew I would leave him after so long so he COULD have a chance, I realized.
He knew me.
He knew me better then I knew myself.
Did he really not love me?
After I had sacrificed so much?
Tears started to fill my eyes, and they slowly seeped down my cheeks.
I didn't know what to believe!
I felt crushed, like I couldn't breathe, and my chest ached painfully.
"That, sweet Kenali, is the feeling of your heart being ripped in half," Seraphine sighed, her grip laxing in my hair. "And of betrayal. And time will not make it better, no matter what is said. It will always be there."
I didn't say anything, just wept.
"Now you know how the rest of us feel," Theda said after a moment, her eyes roving down to mine. "That feeling of loss. You'll feel it even stronger once we finish off Ashlandil and Andiel both. You'll know what it's like to truly be alone."
"Theda ----."
"Nothing you say will make it better!" she snarled at me, her teeth abruptly jagged as she started to lose control, and the scent of Andy's blood filled the air as her nails sharped into claws on his skin, ripping easily through the tender flesh.
He flinched, straining again at his bonds.
I had to protect him, I thought, my lips trembling.
Even if he had truly done that to me, the human Andy... he deserved a chance.
Maybe he could even redeem himself, I don't know, but he deserved a chance.
"I loved you so much," I whispered, meeting Andys eyes as my tears flooded from my own. "I loved you so much I would have done anything for you, and I did everything in my power to protect you and give you whatever you wanted. And I'm so sorry."
"Kenna," Andy stared at me, his voice barely audible. "Don't."
"I'm so sorry," I continued, as if he had never made a sound, "but I can't do this anymore."
Seraphine looked smug, but she shouldn't.
I tugged on my wrists, and the ropes abruptly broke; before either of them could react, I was on my feet, and my hand plunged into Theda's chest, closing around her heart.
She screamed angrily, reaching for me, but it was too late, and I jerked my hand back, ripping her heart out of her skin, black blood spewing everywhere, Andy hissing as it covered his skin.
She staggered back at step, gray abruptly swirling through her veins, her blood turning into dust.
Theda stiffened, the pink of her hair losing color, and then we were looking at a marbled statue, the heart I held in my hand no longer beating.
It weighed heavily in my hand, and then crumbled, turning into a pile of dust.
Theda started to flake, following her heart, and then she was dissolving, crumbling into nothing more then a pile of gray sand.
I had killed my friend; she no longer existed.
"What have you done?" Seraphine screamed, and she grabbed me slinging me back, dust billowing around us as I slammed into the concrete floor and slid back. "You stupid fucking bitch!"
I scrambled to my feet, but she was at me again, throwing me into the large crates, and I screeched as I felt something pierce my ribs.
I rolled out of them before she could grab me again, jerking the pipe out of my side.
"He doesn't fucking love you, you stupid fool!" Seraphine bellowed as she stalked me like prey. "How could you turn on your own kind like that? Ashlandil killed Raza!"
"Because of me! And I won't let him die!" I faced off with her, and I narrowed my eyes, planting my feet firmly on the ground.
I would kill her too.
I would kill all of them who threatened him.
Ashlandil didn't deserve to die.
And I wouldn't let him.
"You can't have them both, Kenali, you selfish cunt."
"You can't murder everyone you have a grudge against," I hissed, clenching my hands, my blood running down my side, eating through my clothes like acid, its sizzling as it met the air the only sound in the warehouse as we faced off, stalking each other, eyeing an opening.
I would destroy her, or she would me.
At least then I wouldn't have to feel this pain in my chest, this awful ache that wouldn't go away.
This uncertainty.
I didn't want to live if what she had said was true.

Notes