My Fallen Angel

I took off immediately, heading for the hallway. I made it to the corner before he caught my arm, pulling me back around to face him.
I kept my eyes down, staring at his chest.
"Where have you been?" Ashlandil demanded, dark hair laying against his collar bone. "It's been over two weeks!"
"It's not been ---."
"What the fuck did you think you were doing, running off in the middle of the night? You left all your things ---."
"You told me to leave ---."
"God dammit you know I didn't mean it!"
My eyes flicked up to his warily, seeing the bright red glaring down at me like I was some disobedient child.
"You seemed pretty sure of it then," I hissed at him, jerking from his grasp. "You made me have no doubts you would hurt me if I came back!"
I saw a flash of guilt cross his features, and he slumped slightly.
"I --- I was so mad at you," he muttered, stepping away from me. "After what you told me, all I could think about was how you had betrayed me."
"It had no---."
"I fucking know that," he ran a hand through his already messed hair.
"Kenna?" I glanced behind Ashley, seeing the other guys crowding at the door, but Andy was holding them back, a concerned look on his face.
"Ashley, I'm leaving."
"Where are you going?" he demanded. "Just stay ---."
"I have somewhere to go, okay?" I evaded his grab. "I'm with Theda and Raza and ---."
"RAZA?" he suddenly bellowed, and I flinched. "Ken --- he's fucking dangerous! Are you trying to get yourself killed? There's no way I'm gonna let you stay around him ---."
"It's not your choice!" I hissed. "You're not going to boss me around!"
"I didn't in the beginning! You're just so ignorant of everything ---."
"Oh, because you weren't in the beginning ---."
"You keep letting yourself get sick! You know what you need ---."
"I can take care of myself !"
"You're not doing a very good job of it!" I growled in frustration, glaring at him. "Why do you even care? You told me to leave, I did. I'm not even here for you!"
"You don't think I know you don't give two shits about me?" he shouted, and I realized I'd hit a nerve. "You think I don't know that? I'm trying to help you!"
"STOP TRYING! I don't need you!" I cried, taking a step away from him. "I hate you!"
"I fucking hate you too!"
We glared at each other.
Why did it always come down to a stand off between us? Neither of us were going to give up until we'd hurt the other, and now was no exception.
I clenched my fists, wishing I could shut his stupid face in a door, or throw him into a wall or something, anything, where I wasn't so mad at him anymore.
"Guys?" We both looked over, seeing the rest of the band hovering worriedly.
We looked at each other.
I watched the red die out of Ashleys eyes and the brown appear as he got control of his temper. There was a silence, and then Ashley seemed to deflate, his shoulders slumping.
"I'm sorry," he suddenly whispered, amd I jerked, looking up at him in surprise.
"I really am. I didn't want you to leave. Please, Kenali, come back," he pleaded, slipping his fingers through mine loosely. "Please."
Oh hell. I hesitated, searching his face.
His stupid, temperamental, arrogant, drunk and pleading face.
How could I say no? I sighed.
"On a few terms," I murmured, and Ashley straightened. "Really?"
I nodded, his grip tightening on mine.
"Under a few condit---."
Ashley didn't let me finish, just suddenly grabbed my face, kissing me. I pressed my hands against his shoulders, but I didn't push him away; I kissed him back eagerly, unable to control myself.
This is what I craved.
"Well, does that mean they're back together?"
"It means something. Come on, let's change."
I heard the guys shuffle back into the dressing room, and I pulled away from Ashley with a gasp, my hand buried in his hair.
"I --- I ---."
"Don't," he murmured, kissing my cheek. "Don't make an excuse for it."
I stayed silent, then pulled his lips back to mine, feeling the wall press against my back.
I needed this so badly, no matter how I felt about him.
I might hate him, but god did I want him.

Notes