“Uh, I… Uh,” I stammered, scrambling for an explanation while the three of them were staring at my cheek. “Did Nick do this?” Tina asked angrily as she came to gingerly touch my cheek. I, however, moved out of her reach before she got to me, shaking my head furiously. “What?! No, no, I… I got in a fight,” I lied. By the looks on their faces they were definitely not buying it. “You got in a fight?” Lucy asked disbelievingly, perching herself on the edge of the pool. CC was yet to say anything, thank God. “Yeah. I was drunk and got in a bar fight. You should see the other girl,” I chuckled nervously while swimming to the edge of the pool and clambering to sit next to Lucy. “And your arm, too!” Lucy exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at the not yet faded bruise. “Uh… Yeah,” I answered lamely while casting a nervous glance at Tina, who was yet to move from her position in the water. “Since when do you get into fights? And you’ve been acting strange this whole night as well!” Lucy probed. By now my heart was hammering so hard in my chest that the pounding echoed in my ears.

“It was Nick, wasn’t it?” Tina concluded before finally climbing out of the pool to stand next to me. The look on her face broke my heart - she was absolutely angry with me. But I didn’t blame her; I was pretty sure everyone was mad at me in the world by now. I literally ruined everything I touched. With a sigh I gave into my defeat. “I’m gonna kill him!” Lucy shouted as she was about to get up. I held her by the arm to make her stay. “I’m sorry! Okay? I’m so sorry! It was all my fault,” I apologized with a trembling bottom lip. CC looked at me incredulously. “You’re sorry?” he asked forcefully, causing me to shrink away from him instantly. A fleeting look of regret passed his features before he continued: “No, I just mean, like… You have nothing to be sorry for! You have to be a pretty shitty person in order to hit a girl. No one deserves that.” He was lying. I knew I deserved it, just as Nick did, and I’m pretty sure they knew so, too.

The mask of anger on Lucy’s face had faded into one of sadness, and soon I was enveloped in a cold, wet hug. “Break up with him. Right now,” she whispered into my ear, clutching me as though her life depended on it. “But it really was my fault,” I said quietly, melting into her embrace. She shook her head forcefully and pulled away to look at me. I winced as she grabbed my by the arm, and she quickly let go. “This could never be your fault, girl. He’s a piece of shit. If you don’t break up with him, I will do it for you.” The initial embarrassment and jitters had faded into full-blown shame. There was no way I could break up with Nick - he was my world. And he did treat me like I was his world, just… Not all of the time. Tina’s knees groaned as she bent down to be at eye-level with me. The seriousness of her gaze made a lump form in my throat. This was bad. This was really, really bad.

“Amelia,” she started, brushing away a few strands of wet hair from my face. “I am being completely, 100 percent honest when I tell you this: you deserve better. So much better. In fact, I’m surprised that you are even considering staying with him after this. You deserve the world, and if he deals you this shit, you treat him like the dirtbag he is and break up with him. You hear me?” Her tone was grave, and by now I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. All that kept echoing in my mind was a twisted version of her words: ‘You don’t deserve the world. You deserve nothing.’
“Come on,” Lucy urged as she brought me inside and gave me a towel to dry off and a pair of her sweatpants along with a random t-shirt. When I had changed and sat on her bed, she handed me my cell, which had been lying on the table in the dining area, where CC and Tina along with their parents were currently sitting. I had barely been able to convince them not to tell their parents anything - as long as I promised to break up with Nick.

“Call him. Now.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes, and with a sigh she enveloped me in yet another hug. “Are you honestly telling me that you’d rather go home to more pain than be a free woman?” she asked me seriously, and with a heavy heart I shook my head. “But I love him…” I whispered, clutching my cellphone tightly. “I know. But this is what’s best for you,” she urged, rejecting me when I tried to give her back my cell. My finger hovered above his name in my contacts for a few seconds before I forced myself to press it. Lucy quickly put it on speaker, and I held it at arm’s reach away from me. Three long notes passed before he picked up. “Amelia,” he greeted, and my heart broke at the thought of what I was about to do. “Hey, Nick,” I whispered, momentarily preparing myself for what I was about to say. “I, uh… I don’t think we’re working out.” I winced as nothing but silence came from the other end. “What?” he said, this time more forcefully. I could do nothing but quiver as I continued with an encouraging nod from my friend. “I want to break up with you.” To my surprise, laughter broke through the speaker. “You?” he asked incredulously, pausing once more to regain his breath. “You want to break up with me?” I swallowed harshly before replying with a quiet ‘yes’. “Do you even know what you’re saying? What you’re throwing away?”

This time anger had made its way into his voice. “Yes.” “You fucking idiot! After all I’ve fucking done for you! Are you seriously telling me that I’ve wasted my time with you for nothing?!” he yelled, and I sent Lucy a desperate glance to help me out. She merely shook her head and gestured for me to continue. “Yes.” His heavy breathing sounded for a few seconds before he said: “Fine. Come get your shit. You fucking piece of trash.” And then he hung up. Lucy gingerly took my phone and placed it on the nightstand before tugging me into yet another hug. Tears were running freely down my cheeks, and I wiped them away furiously. “I’m so proud of you,” she said quietly, but then pulled away to look into my eyes. “How long has he… You know?” I cast my eyes downwards and played with the black hairband on my wrist. There was no use in lying about anything now - I might as well get it all out there. Even though they wouldn’t understand that Nick wasn’t the one to blame. That was something I would personally have to deal with. “For the better half of our relationship,” I mumbled. The lump in my throat grew bigger and more painful as I thought back to how perfect our relationship was in the beginning, and how desperate I was for things to go back to how they were, to the point where I accepted being kicked and spat on. Lucy remained silent, and I knew that she was disappointed in me. Why wouldn’t she be?

“Do you want me to go get your stuff tomorrow?” she asked, to which I nodded gratefully. “I won’t let him touch you ever again,” she promised, and I sent her a small smile at her protectiveness. Her offer made me wonder what he would do to me when he saw me once again, and I shuddered at the thought. Yeah, it was probably best that she went. A sudden realization dawned upon me just as Lucy was about to get up. “But… Where am I gonna stay?” I asked stupidly, feeling a small pang in my chest at the thought of me not being able to stay at my parents’ house. Lucy looked at me as though I was stupid. “Here, obviously,” she said with an eye-roll. “And you’re beginning tonight. Movie-marathon?” A grateful smile made its way onto my face through my tears, and I nodded my head. “Movie-marathon.”

Within half an hour Lucy and Tina’s parents had gone to bed, and the four of us were sat in front of the TV in the living room surrounded by blankets and pillows and bowls of popcorn. As the opening credits for Tangled ran across the screen, CC let out a grunt of disapproval. “You’re gonna kill me, I swear.”

Two and a half Disney-movies later, everyone was asleep but me. Tina and CC were cuddled up to each other underneath a heap of blankets, and Lucy had eventually crawled onto the couch and fallen asleep there. I felt immensely guilty at the thought of staying at their parents’ house and spending their resources, but kept getting waved off by the sisters. Although Tina didn’t live at home anymore, she still spent a great amount of time at her parents’ house, since they had always been incredibly close. Yet another thing I envied. But I shook my head at myself - I had friends, great friends even, and that was all that mattered. When I was with them, I was okay. They would hold me together. And they would, hopefully, keep my demons at bay.

Notes

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