“Ah, fuck,” I hissed as my hand went to touch my tender cheek. It was still crimson and slightly swollen, so I decided to put an ice-pack on it until I had to get ready, in the hopes that it would calm down. Nick was sitting at the kitchen island and showed no indication that I was allowed to join him, so with a heavy heart I traipsed upstairs once more to wait. After an hour the swelling was completely gone, but a massive bruise had taken place instead. Luckily a heavy mask of foundation and concealer was able to cover it, and I forced a smile at my reflection in the mirror. My long, auburn hair was put into a high ponytail with my bangs swooping across my forehead, and for the occasion I had put on some bright red lipstick. “That’ll have to do,” I muttered before changing my t-shirt into a checkered flannel - there was no reason to be completely dolled up for an informal dinner with my friends and their parents (and a rockstar).

By the time I was done it was already 18:00, and sounds of rustling were coming from the kitchen, along with a mouth-watering smell of food. “Uh, baby?” I said gingerly while leaning against the doorframe, gazing at Nick as he flipped a piece of chicken in the pan. “Mhm?” he answered off-handedly, obviously too engrossed in what he was doing to pay attention to me. “I was invited over for dinner at Lucy’s place, so I’m gonna go…” He merely grunted, which I took as my cue to leave before slipping into my leather boots and grabbing my car-keys. I sent a quick text to Lucy to let her know I was on my way before backing out of the driveway and heading towards her parents’ house.

“Amelia!” I was greeted happily before being enveloped in a tight hug by Lucy’s mother, Karen. “It’s been too long, sweetie,” she gushed as she ushered me into the living room. “Take a seat, dinner’s ready soon.” John, Karen’s husband, was slouched in his characteristic armchair while chatting with Lucy and Tina, who were both sat on the couch. “Hey, girl!” Tina exclaimed before jumping out of her comfortable position and hugging me. I couldn’t help but wince as she, too, squeezed my bruise, but hopefully my facial expression gave nothing away. “Amelia,” John nodded in recognition with a warm smile on his face. “John,” I mocked with a similar nod, which made him snort. “Always nice to have you.” Lucy giggled as she waved me over to the couch, where I slouched right next to her. “Don’t freak out too much. We don’t want him to flee the country,” she teased while bumping my shoulder with hers. I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right.”

A few minutes later, the actual CC emerged from the kitchen with his arm slung around Tina’s tiny shoulders. It took a lot of effort for me to not drop my jaw, but I could do nothing about my wide eyes. “See? I wasn’t kidding,” Lucy laughed. CC must have noticed me, for his smile grew wider as he made his way over to me. When he was standing right in front of me, he stuck his tattooed hand out for me to shake. “Hi. My name’s Christian, but you can call me CC,” he greeted. It was as though someone had stuck cotton in my mouth, ‘cause it was almost impossible for me to string together a sentence in this close proximity with an actual member of my favorite band. “My name’s Amelia,” I finally said as I shook his hand, thankfully not stuttering. I took a few moments to appreciate his exterior; his warpaint was obviously missing, and he was dressed in a pair of black washed-out skinny jeans and a grey baseball-tee. His signature bandana was wrapped around his forehead. “Kids! Husband! Food’s on the table!” Karen shouted from the dining area, causing Tina and Lucy to roll their eyes. “Fucking embarrassing,” Lucy muttered before grabbing my hand and dragging me with her to the table.

“Is that all you’re gonna eat?” Lucy whispered incredulously after we had all stocked our plates, mine being the least full. It mostly consisted of salad and a small piece of chicken, as I was still nervously eyeing the large amount of calories sitting on the table. Quickly conjuring a lie, I sighed playfully before whispering: “Nah, I’m saving my appetite for the dessert - you know I love your mother’s creme brûlée.” Her worries immediately dissipated and a smile overtook her face at the mentioning of dessert. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s pretty good.” Time flew by quite fast, with conversation being carried effortlessly by everyone at the table. CC was surprisingly cool - I’ll admit, I was expecting him to be a lot more big-headed, being a celebrity and all. But he was incredibly down to Earth, playing along with every joke and sarcastic comment that was exchanged during dinner. Naturally, Tina and him were being all cuddly with small kisses and intertwined fingers. Seeing their love so clearly out in the open actually made me envious of their relationship - Nick never did any of that with me anymore.

“So,” Karen began as she put down her utensils, “how are things with you and Nick?” I was snapped back into reality by her question and looked into her curious eyes briefly before casting them downwards once more. “Oh, uh, you know…” I said awkwardly, caressing my knife with the tip of my fingers. ”The boy treating you right?” John asked casually, slouched back in a comfortable position. Lucy rolled her eyes at his paternity, but a smile still tugged at her lips. “Yeah, of course,” I answered with a smile. The dinner felt heavy in my stomach, and I desperately sucked in my tummy constantly to hide the obvious bloating, but cramps kept clenching around the walls of my stomach. By the third time I had to swallow back the taste of bile in my throat, I reluctantly gave in to the urge that was threatening to crush me.

“Excuse me,” I said with a forced smile as I headed towards the bathroom. No one seemed suspicious of my departure, as the conversation continued behind me. As soon as I had locked the door, I knelt in front of the toilet and threw up without the need to stick fingers down my throat. Before continuing, I turned on the faucet to drown out the gagging. The taste was horrendous and the painful clenching almost unbearable, but at the same time it felt oddly cathartic. When I was done, I felt clean. I felt empty. On trembling legs I stood to rinse my mouth, though the burning in my throat wouldn’t go away. A knock on the door gave me a tiny heart-attack. “Are you okay?” Lucy asked from the other side of the door. My heart sank. If she found out what I did, she would be just as disappointed as Nick. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine!” I yelled back nervously, mentally cursing my voice for cracking. I stepped out into the hallway and practically bumped into my friend, as she was standing so close. She was eyeing me suspiciously. “Are you sure?” she asked with narrowed eyes, and a light blush rose in my cheeks. “Yeah, just… Slight tummy-ache, you know,” I lied.

Giving her no time to answer, I walked back into the dining area, where Tina and CC were currently leaving their seats. “You wanna join?” Tina asked while linking her arm with her boyfriend’s. “Where are you going?” “To the pool,” CC answered kindly, nodding towards the glass door that led to the backyard. Oh, not again. “Uh, sure, as long as I don’t go underwater,” I said unsurely, but started getting nervous when I saw the weird look on Lucy’s face. “Why? You love swimming,” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Tina and CC had already headed outside, and I turned to face her. “Um… I’m just not in the mood.” She narrowed her eyes at me, but sighed before heading upstairs to change into her swimsuit.

I stepped into the warm summer-air and immediately took off my shoes and socks, relishing in the feeling of the damp grass beneath my bare feet. Squeals and laughter was emitting from the pool, and I tentatively walked over there, staying clear of the water the lovebirds were splashing at each other. Despite my envy, I smiled at them messing around - it was obvious how in love they were. “Are you sure you don’t want to join? The water’s great!” Tina tried persuading me after emerging from the water, but I shook my head. “I’m good.” A smile broke out on both of their faces as they looked behind me, and I look at them weirdly. A second too late I heard the sound of hastily approaching footsteps, and before I could react, two hands forcefully pushed me into the pool.

‘No, no, no’ I thought as my soaked clothes weighed me down. Chlorine-filled water made its way into my nose and eyes, and despite my reluctance, I instinctively reached the surface for air. I lowered my head in shame as I heard a few quiet gasps.

“What happened to your face?!”

Notes