Creation of a Deviant

The next morning, Ash woke to somewhat frantic voices trying to be quiet in his living room. That was a good thing, considering how his head was pounding with a hangover from all the alcohol. However, one look at the clock on his nightstand told him it was well after noon, and he normally didn’t sleep that late, not even after drinking. Only after realizing he heard the voices of his bandmates did he realize they might be worried he’d taken his drinking way too far.

The moment he stepped into his living room, he was encountered by the worried faces of his closest friends: Andy, Jake, Jinxx, and of course, CC. He cocked a brow curiously since they all looked as freaked as they did worried, but held up a single finger. He needed caffeine for whatever they wanted to talk to him about, as well as something for his head; otherwise, he was bound to be one mean mother fucker for whatever time he was up.

“Not that I don’t enjoy hanging out with you guys, but I’m surprised to wake up to more than just CC,” he said, clearing his throat since his voice was raspy.

“Well, Chuppy actually called us over here,” Andy, the youngest of the group, told him.

“He was worried about you, and if he’s right, rightfully so,” Jake agreed, his hazel eyes wide with concern. “Hell, we’re all worried about you, if what he suspects is true.”

“Worried?” the bassist asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “Why would you guys be worried about me?”

“You apparently said something odd to him before you passed out this morning,” Jinxx spoke up. “Apparently, it was well beyond your norm for odd, or he’d have just chalked it up to drunken rambling like we normally do.”

Curious and confused, Ash merely cocked a brow at his friends since he didn’t quite know how to ask what they were talking about.

“Dude…you called me Daddy and begged me not to leave you,” the drummer piped up. “You said you didn’t wanna be watched by Misty, that you didn’t like it when she…she…”

Just hearing that name made him gasp and drop his coffee mug, which shattered on the hardwood floor at his feet. He drew his knees up to his chest as his mind disappeared into a dark place: the vault where he tried to keep memories of those five years locked away. He saw the first time that evil babysitter had touched him so inappropriately when he’d been just four years old. It’d taken her roughly a month after his parents hired her to start touching him, less than six months for her to rape him for the first time. If his young self had known that shit would continue till after his ninth birthday, he’d never had kept his promise of silence, even if it’d gotten him killed.

Shocked by his reaction, yet concerned with how he rocked back and forth, Jinxx moved to sit beside him. He slowly and gently wrapped his arms around him, trying not to provoke him to fight and struggle since he could easily hurt both of them. While they were all surprised by his sudden change in behavior, they were even more so when he wrapped his arms tightly around the multi-instrumentalist, whimpering and mumbling like a small, scared child.

All of the guys were beyond concerned about him now. They’d never really seen anything but confidence from their friend, who was the oldest of the quintet. Well, maybe a bit of heartbroken misery after his split with ex-girlfriend Kina Tavarozi a few years ago, but that was a completely different story. He’d never once looked like he was terrified of being pinned down by someone like he did now, his expression resembling that of a deer caught in the headlights. Unfortunately, they knew they had to wait for him to return to Reality before they could try talking to him.

It took him a bit to manage it, but Ash finally pulled himself from the vault deep inside his memory. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, mortified not that his friends more or less knew, but by how they’d found out. If he were honest, he didn’t want to tell them about his decades-old abuse, but certainly not like this.

“You back with us now, Ash?” Jinxx asked a short time later, gently rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“Y-Yeah,” the bassist managed to stutter, gratefully accepting the glass of water Jake handed him.

“So what was that all about?” Andy asked curiously. “I’ve never seen you freak out like you did at the name M—”

“Don’t, Andy,” he said, a warning note entering his voice as he cut him off. “I can’t even hear that name without having nasty flashbacks like you just saw.”

All of the guys gave him curiously worried looks.

“It all started when I was four. My parents had to hire a new babysitter for their date nights because the neighbors who’d babysat me from the time I was born till then moved away. Her name was Misty Malone.”

Everyone, including the ever-hyper CC, was silent.

“Everything was great till about a month after they hired the fourteen-year-old,” Ash continued, gulping audibly. “That was when the abuse started.”

“She beat you!?” Andy gasped, eyes widening with shock.

“No…worse.” He took a deep breath to compose himself. “It started out with gentle caresses and her gently grabbing my crotch through my clothes. Within six months, things had escalated to the point that…”

“What’d she do to you, Ash?” Jake asked gently.

“She raped me…repeatedly,” the bassist answered, sniffling. “She didn’t get caught till I was nine, after my parents died.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell anyone?” CC managed to ask.

“Because she always threatened to kill me afterward.” The answer was short and simple. “She always made it clear that she’d ‘turn me into an angel and send me to Heaven’, as she put it.”

“Well, considering how old you were, I’m sure that was the easiest way for her to put it that you’d understand,” the lead guitarist sympathized.

“Like I said, though, my parents never knew that was going on, only that I didn’t like her babysitting me,” Ash continued. “If my grandparents hadn’t come home early that night in the summer of ’93 and caught her in the act of raping me, I doubt she would’ve ever been caught.”

“But she was caught, hopefully to be jailed for a long time,” Jinxx said soothingly.

“Oh, yeah, but I still have scars from those five years.” He shivered almost violently. “It’s why I’ve never let a woman dominate me sexually since, why I don’t want anything to do with gingers…especially the green-eyed ones.”

“And you can’t even hear her name, even in reference to someone else, can you?” Andy gently rested his hand on his knee.

“No, I can’t. It opens up the pandora’s box in my head and floods me with flashbacks of those awful memories.”

“You don’t have to be scared anymore, Ash.” CC moved to gently hug him. “We’re here for you, and if she ever manages to get outta prison, we’re not gonna let her hurt you again.”

Ash took comfort in feeling the arms of his friends wrapping around him and therefore each other. In all the years he’d known them, they’d always banded together when one of them needed the support of those closes to them. Granted, he was normally on the giving end of such comforting gestures rather than the receiving, but he didn’t care. Considering the physical distance between him and his grandparents, he was glad to have his best and closest friends by his side during his time of need.

Whether silently, aloud, or both, the rest of the guys vowed to do everything they could for him. Andy, Jake, Jinxx, and CC were all hurt by seeing their confident friend seemingly become a shell of the man he once was. They hoped those horrid memories wouldn’t keep him down for long, but only time would give them their answer.

Notes