Be My Bad Boy

I sobbed a little, a strangled cry from my heart.
Andy looked at me, quizzically.
"What was that about?"
"Forget about it. Girl stuff." I didn't want to explain and I didn't know if Angie wanted me going into all the details of her feelings. If Andy hadn't worked that out for himself then I wasn't about to tell him.
He shrugged.
"Okay, but you can't stay here. This place is like a bloody freezer. Come over to our place so you can recover. We have central heating and you'd have decent food."
I shook my head. That would only make things worse with Angie.
"I'm not taking no for an answer. I can't leave you here like this." He put his arm around me and lifted me off the bed. I really had no choice. Not without telling him and then he'd think I was stupid for even imagining that he felt anything for me.
“My phone." I could contact Angie to explain. Surely she'd not even think anyone was interested in me when I looked like a red-faced, snotty-nosed pig.
He sat me down and tidied up the groceries Angie had dropped. I really wished she’d given me my coffee before she took off.

I grabbed my phone and made sure I had the necessities in my bag – wallet, keys, tampons, and lip balm.
He reached for me again.
"It’s okay, I can walk to the car."
I pulled the blanket around myself and shuffled outside.
In the car, I tried to call Angie but she didn't answer her phone. Then I tried to send her a text but it was hard to find the words. What did I say? I know you like Andy and you think we were up to something but it was not what it looked like. That sounded a bit weird but it was the best I could do. It took me the whole drive just to write that and then rewrite it.

Andy put me to bed and I snuggled under the blankets feeling warm for the first time that day. Why had he changed so much? From the snarly horrible beast that ignored me, to this gentle man who looked after me when I was sick. Maybe he had multiple personalities? That seemed like the most likely explanation. I'd seen a movie once with someone like that. I shouldn't overthink it anyway, just appreciate the warm bed and the care. It sure beat being in my lousy flat shivering to death with no food.

As I drifted off to sleep, I could hear the gentle strumming of a guitar from downstairs. That soothed me too and made me feel like I had when Andy stroked my hair. I smiled as I feel asleep.
I woke up in a dark room with everything totally still. I had no idea what time it was but I figured it was the middle of the night. I felt for my phone so I could check the time. I had a feeling like I'd forgotten about something awful. It clawed around in my belly like a frightened animal, scratching and seething. I tried to remember.
Angie. She'd been so mad.
I switched on my phone to check for messages.
Nothing.

She must’ve been really mad. Angie checked her phone like every two minutes. She never missed a call. And it was 2am. She wouldn't be calling back any time soon. I felt a bit better and wide awake. I didn't want to get up and disturb Andy, who must be sleeping on the couch again, or Jinxx, so I stared at the ceiling, trying to figure things out.
If I'd stayed at school, I'd be starting exams that week. That really freaked me out. I'd learnt more in the last few weeks than I ever had at university but it wasn't the kind of stuff that helped you pass exams. I hadn't heard from Tom for ages either. Maybe he'd heard the rumours about dad or he was too busy studying for his law exams to even notice I wasn't there. I hadn't thought about him either. He'd been my boyfriend for four years but it was like he'd been a pretend boyfriend. I’d never felt that thrill when he kissed me. I'd not even known that kind of thrill was possible. Tom's kisses had the flavour of merging our companies together. A taste of business partnerships and financial transactions. Andy's kisses, on the other hand, were like jumping on the back of a motorbike and heading out to somewhere unknown with the wind whipping through your hair. I'd seen that on a movie too, because I'd never been on a motorbike. Maybe I could buy one. Maybe that was the new me.

I needed a drink of water. I really needed a drink. I thought there would be one by my bed but there wasn't. If Andy wanted to play nurse, he could've brought me one. Even housekeepers knew how to do that. But then they leave and don't hold you or stroke your hair.
I tried to curl up and go back to sleep but all I could think of was having a cold glass of water.
My throat felt so dry. If I didn't get out of bed and hydrate myself, I'd never get to sleep.
I tiptoed downstairs, not wanting to wake Andy. He slept on the couch, snoring a little. He'd breathe in a huge breath then, when he exhaled, he made this funny little half-snore, half-snort sound. He lay, half-turned towards the back of the couch and his hair had flopped onto his face but wavered with each breath out. It looked so funny. Then I realised I was watching him sleep like some creepy creep.
His toes stuck out the bottom of the blanket. Even though the room was warm, I felt bad for those toes. He had long toes, just like his fingers and the little one slightly twisted. I'd just tuck them in under the blanket.
I tiptoed around the couch, making sure not to wake him, and reached over to pull down the blanket, when I knocked the remote control off the coffee table. It crashed onto the floor causing a huge echo through the still apartment.
Andy jumped off the couch and sprang at me.
He grabbed my arm, all pent up energy about to unfurl. Pain shot up through my shoulder.
"Andy! Don't."
I stumbled backwards trying to untwist my arm and lessen the pain. I choked back screams, not wanting to startle him, but my pulse raced like crazy, the banging of my heart pounding my body.
He advanced towards me, his fingers squeezing tighter around my arm, bending it back. If he twisted it any more, it might snap. Who was this guy? Not the same person who'd held me so gently earlier.
I froze, not able to react.
"Andy, Andy," I pleaded, but this wasn't Andy.
His fist flew at me. I screamed.
That seemed to bring him to his senses.
He dropped his arm before the punch connected and let go of me.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked. I couldn't see his face clearly in the dim light but his voice sounded shaky.
“I… I need some water."
"Oh, okay. I just thought… never mind." He sat down on the edge of the couch, his head in his hands. I wondered what was going on. He ran his fingers through his hair then reached over and lit up a cigarette. In the glow of the cigarette, his eyes looked haunted.
"Are you okay?" I sat down beside him and tried to put my arm around him but he twisted away from me.
I waited but he didn't answer. He didn't react at all. It was as if he hadn't heard me or had forgotten I was there. The need to cough tickled at my throat but I suppressed it, not wanting to disturb him.
Eventually, I stood up and got a glass of water then went back to bed. I felt so useless, as if I should be doing something to help, but I had no idea what. Andy obviously wanted to close himself off from me, from everyone, and unless he let me in, I could do nothing.
I could hear him move around downstairs.
He'd come so close to hitting me. Well not me. I don't think he had any idea who I was; it was someone else he saw in the dark. There was a lot I didn't know about Mr. Andy Biersack, dark places that maybe I didn't want to know.
I checked my phone again and there were still no messages. Not that I expected one in the middle of the night. I lay awake for a long time, wondering what my life had become.

Notes

Oh boi