Kellie
You okay, Kellie? I mean you've been seeming pretty deep in thoughts lately. I mean... Uh, not that I've been around you that much...” She chuckles awkwardly, waving her hand in the air. Not wanting to discomfort her, I immediately reply. My eyes shoot away from her jeans mini shorts and meet her make up dumped face. A smile is planted on her face and I can't pin point how real it is.“No, N-No. It's nothing,” I offer a forced smile at my lame excuse. I do that quite often. Probably even all the time... It feels like as if nothing amuses me in this world but it never mattered to me anyway. “Actually, I should ask you that. This whole thing itself is so much of a help to me, Stacy. I-” I wave my hands around her dorm, not finding the right words to use to show my gratitude.“Hey, chill. This is all yours. ” She smiles satisfying me somewhat.
Stacy is one of the few I talk to. Well, we had barely spoken much in the past but at least conversed. It does bother me at times at how invisible I could be. It's like no one could care better that even superman wouldn't notice. Stacy was a name that could help me out for now.
Sometimes I wish I had someone to save me. A proper person whom I could depend on. From all the horrors of life, all the problems, situation, certain people... from myself. Not running away from all of it. Hell, I even climbed up to my house's window on the first floor to get my school bag and other valuables that I might need only because of being too scared to discover what could reside beside the entrance. I don't have anywhere else to go and in the end, here is where I ended up.
Like the way I ran from home, from dad, from that guy whom I just confessed some certain shittiest and embarrassing stuff when drunk yesterday! I wasn't even able to remember his name and somehow even ended up in his bed.
It doesn't take Sherlock to know his name because of course, everyone knows it- Andy. Biersack.
Deciding not to dwell under the past, I choose to chuck that memory and think of something else. My eyes involuntarily move towards my wrists where he had tied me up with his shirt and held me so tightly. It makes me uncomfortable with the way I can still feel his warm temperature, that touch still lingering on my skin and the sight of his smirk on his face so close, too close to mine...
Yeah, and the feeling of adrenaline taking over as I bang my head, hard to his before fleeing.
So. fucking. badass.
A knock at the door lands me back to earth as I turn to her.
“Oh, did I tell you, me and my friends were going to a party... and you're coming.”
My jaw drops.
“YOU?”
“YOU!” We both yell in unison, me trying to conceal the irritation and at the same time, him finding it enough to amuse himself.
“Oh, guess you both are familiar with each other?” She looks surprised. Well, I actually knew all of them, because obviously there's no one to not know them- Ashley, Christian, Jinxx, Jake and Andy. And along with them tag along their temporary fuck buddies wearing pieces of clothes and masks of make up.
“Of course,” Andy walks over to me with a chain hanging down his loose jeans, and swings a heavy arm around my shoulder, making me stiffen. I hold my breath when his deep voice reverberated around my ears as he chuckles, one that makes my spine shiver. “We have... been around.”
__
After almost the whole day spent, this is the time when an ablution of regret washes through my body. I suppress the rising bile down my throat, feeling so out of place and truly disgusted, not only on these people but on myself too. Andy is nowhere to be seen and all of them are drunk, as if going to pass out any minute.
“Hey come on, we're going to lose if you don't complete the dare.” Stacy's now annoying voice blabbers as she tugs at my black tank top and I force myself to keep myself contained. I don't even dare to peek at her naked body with only her piece of underwear barely covering her. Loud heavy metal booms in the background, one that isn't my taste and isn't doing me any good in consideration of my situation.
“Stace Come on, I think we better go easy on her. She's such an innocent pussy!”
“Geez, she looks like she's gonna fucking cry!”
“Fuck that naive bitch!”
All sorts of comments are passed with sarcastic and condescending remarks. And soon, they too will be thrown away like douche.
“No, st-stop. I think I'm gonna go. I-” I try to make an excuse but am interrupted with a screech of a material tearing. My eyes widen in horror. The whole room erupts in mockingly loud laughter.
With hands trying the best to cover my chest, a painful lump chokes me as my legs automatically take me away from the mess.
I enter a faint lit room which is thankfully empty. It would make my night an incapable nightmare with even a peek of the sight of naked bodies grinding each other. I race towards a study table with books and papers and items scattered around instead of the bed, disgusted with what activity might have occurred recently. Finally letting my guard down, I cry silently for some time till there's nothing left to fall down my cheeks. Trying not to play the most humiliating event of my life in a loop.
Sitting myself straight, I let my eyes wander above the table. I sigh, fatigue taking over my body at last and open a leather bound book with bits of papers sticking out shabbily and open a random page. Scribblings of words and drawings fill my sight with overwhelming emotions that tempt me to read on.
“We stitch these wounds” I read out the title to myself.
'You kissed the lips of evil,
Two months is all the same.
I begged for the mans approval,
Pray to die in vain.

Sit down with thoughts alone now,
With blood these lyrics came.
Your words, they eat right through me,
Death could hear my shame.

The tears we've cried, this love has died,
You're by yourself with me tonight.
It's what we hide with every lie,
And stitch these wounds with me tonight.

I think of it each time I touch you-
“What the fuck are you doing?!” I turn around terrorized, clutching myself even more tighter than ever, to find Andy standing in all his glories. His face filled with rage. My mouth goes dry.

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Notes

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