Falling

I opened my eyes to see a bright white light glaring down at me. I squeezed my eyes shut against the pounding in my head. As I lifted my head a few inches above the soft pillow that supported me, I threatened to black out. Groaning softly, I rolled over gently onto my side, to look down and see that my wrist was bandaged, my blood seeped out making the white cloth a pale pink colour.

I opened my eyes again to see a sparkling blue pair, crying. Andy. he took my small hands in his big, warm ones and looked me in the eye.
"Why'd you do it Blaise?" He asked softly, tears rolling down his clear skin.
"I don't know, I thought it would end it, make it all go away. I got so sick and tired of people treating me like I was nothing, that I was a worthless piece of crap. I'm so sorry Andy." I replied, in a barely audible whisper: though he heard every word.

"But you're not, you know better than that! They're gone, they have no meaning in your life anymore. They made you...you. With all your battle scars and wounds they inflicted upon you, physically and emotionally, they've made you stronger!" He said

Tears emerged from my eyes as I flung my arms around him, burying my face into his chest. I cried for more than an hour, while Andy just held me, not saying a word, though I felt warm splashes on my arm; indicating he was crying too. I soon heard his angelic voice:

I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark
But now I know my wounds are sewn
Because of who you are
I will take this burden on and become the holy one
But remember I am human
And I'm bound to sing this song

So hear my voice remind you not to bleed
I am here a saviour
Will be there
When you are feeling alone, oh
A saviour for all that you do
So you live freely without their harm

So here I write my lullaby to all the lonely ones
Remember as you learn to try to be the one you love
So I can take this pen and teach you how to live
What is left unsaid, the greatest gift I give
So hear my voice remind you not to bleed
I am here

A saviour
Will be there
When you are feeling alone, oh
A saviour
For all that you do
So you live freely without their harm

A saviour
Will be there
When you are feeling alone, oh
A saviour
For all that you do
So you live freely without their harm

When I hear your cries
Praying for light
I will be there

When I hear your cries
Praying for light
I will be there.

He ended the song there. I looked up and wiped his tears away. "Thank you, for being my saviour." I whispered.

"I was always here for you," he whispered gently, tilting my head up and kissing me softly on the lips.

He held the kiss for longer this time, letting it linger. Our tears sliding down our faces, tasting salty and sad. His lips pressed against mine, his hand holding my hand, the curve of our bodies..it just felt right, like we were meant to be with each other.

We heard someone walk in, but too engrossed in the kiss neither of us looked to see who it was, only to hear them leave abruptly.

Andy broke off, "I love you so much Blaise. I never want to lose you, seeing you there, lying on the floor-dead to the world. I-I-I thought you were...gone. I was very nearly about to take my own life for you. I need you here, with me. On earth, alive and fighting. Please don't do anything like this ever again, please? I want you to promise me that." He said, nearly in tears again.

I had no idea that what I did....had affected him so badly. The thought of that he loved me and never wanted to lose me stayed with me, etched into my brain. I always ended up hurting the ones I loved, I wasn't going to do that to Andy.

"Andy...? I had no idea...why would you do that?" I asked him wearily.

"Because I love you...and I didn't want to live if you didn't..." He said frowning.

"Now promise me you aren't going to do anything else, no more cutting, no more suicidal thoughts or even trying to kill yourself, go on!" He said, a deadly serious look on his face.

"I promise Andy." I replied handing over the small razor I had stashed in my pocket before I had blacked out.

"Thank you!" he said, throwing the blade in the bin.

"Come on, can you walk?" he asked

"Yeah, I think so..." I said, gingerly placing my feet on the ground. Andy steadied me as I got off the bed and stood up. Pain instantly shot up my wrist, but I held back the tears as we walked down the stairs and joined the others.

However, not everyone was there, only Ashley and Jinxx remained, the other two had disappeared somewhere.

"Umm...where are the others?" I heard Andy ask.

"They went out, a couple hours ago actually," Ashley replied before glancing at me.

He stood up abruptly and practically ran over to me, enveloping me in a massive hug.
Cue the tears, "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" he said, nearly crushing me as he pressed his body against me. Kissing me on the cheek, he looked me in the eyes.

"I don't know, but I can guarantee I'm never doing it again." I replied looking at Andy.

"Please don't, we don't want to lose you!" Jinxx said, joining the conversation.

We all group hugged, and Andy kept a close watch on me the rest of the night. I kept catching him looking at me, as if he was trying to work out who I was. I hugged the boys goodnight, giving Andy an extra long one, he pecked me on the cheek as I sloped off to my bunk and crawled under the soft covers.

Notes

I actually cried writing this.....hope ya like it though, see you in the next chapter! XOXO

DeathIsBeauty