One Of The Guys

On the morning of the press release I stared into my bathroom mirror and sighed heavily. I looked like absolute shit. One half of my face was covered from top to bottom with grazes and scratches, hopefully with some make-up they'd be less visible. My neck on the other hand was a different story. Andy had given me the biggest and darkest hickey you could ever imagine. It was the size of a golf ball and dark purple. Looking at it turned my stomach. I couldn't believe I was used like that AGAIN. For a split second I thought he had broken his silence in an attempt to forget about what happened. To become friends, so the band would work in perfect harmony and there wouldn't be this awkwardness between us.
And leaving me in the alleyway to walk home alone? I mean, I walked home alone almost every night from rehearsal but never took that short cut and always went the safe way. How can someone be someone be that careless? What would have happened if I was murdered on the walk home? What would happen to the band? Would he just replace me with another [hair colour] chick to fuck around?
"Fuck you, Andy" I slammed my fist down on the bathroom counter. Ouch. Great, now my hand was going to bruise too. Accepting defeat, I stormed out of my apartment and headed to the press release.
*
I was sitting in a tall chair getting my make-up done by some pretty lady. CC was pep-talking me and the others were lounging around on sofas, bored after doing so many interviews before. CC was really helpful, practising my answers in case someone asked me a difficult question.
"Remember, these people want to see you fuck up, so always be on your toes" he said enthusiastically. I nodded, trying to pay attention, but I was still angry about Andy. Who was currently lying across a whole couch, playing Angry Birds again.
"They'll probably ask you all kinds of horrible questions about being the only girl in an all male band, but ignore them. They don't have anything on you, you're like one of the guys, right?" CC said. I hummed in agreement. Oh CC, if you only knew. The make-up lady spoke up, she spoke with a deep south accent.
"Hun, what happened to your face? You are making it a really hard job for me to make you look pretty" she said.
"I-I.. Uhmmm.. I just.." I tried to make an excuse but words wouldn't form in my mouth. I could swear Andy and I made eye-contact for a split second. CC spoke; "Hey, don't say that. She's pretty no matter what. She probably just fell or something. Right [name]?" he said.
"Uhh yeah.. I fell" I said quietly. The make-up lady began to babble about how careless I was and how I made her job ten times harder. Andy stood up from the couch and strolled over to us. Currently, my hair was covering the dark hickey. He pushed it away and said "You should probably cover that up too" he gave a wink that only I could see, before walking out of the room to have a cigarette. I flushed red with embarrassment.
"Hun, what in the world have you been doin'?" said the make-up lady, obviously frustrated. I ignored her ramblings and looked over to CC. He was sitting on the couch just looking down at the floor. Fuck. There was no more guidance or pep-talking after that. We just sat in silence, listening to the ramblings of the make-up lady while she covered my face and neck with buckets of foundation.
*
The press release was intimidating. The five of us sat at a long, raised table with microphones in front of each of us. At least 150 people sat in front of us, all with cameras, video cameras, tape recorders, notebooks. All waiting for me to fuck up. Since Andy was the lead singer, he was the one to introduce me. Great.
"After the heart breaking loss of our beloved Jinxx, we decided we needed to continue the band in his honour. Thus, we held auditions to fill his place. I would now like to introduce you to the wonderfully talented and beautiful [name]" he was being nice, but I knew it was all for the cameras. The crowd clapped and I waved a little. My stomach flipped with nervousness and I held onto the glass of water in front of me to stop from shaking.
"At this time, we would like to take any questions from the press" Andy said. The room erupted into noise, people shouting questions at me and flashing cameras. I could hardly hear any one question over all the noise. But CC prepared me for this. He told me to wait a minute of two; "Eventually, the commotion will die down and full questions will arise" he said. So I waited, and he was right.
"[name] do you ever think you could fully replace Jinxx?"
"Of course not" I said. "Jinxx was a hero, a legend. I feel eternally grateful to be standing where he stood. He will never be forgotten. And I will try my hardest to live up to the legacy he has left behind" I immediately looked over to CC for reassurance that I answered the question correctly. He smiled and gave me a thumbs up.
"[name] how have you been settling in, in an all male group? Will shows and songs still be the same?"
"Like I would settle into any other band. The gender ratio of the band has nothing to do with the quality of the music and shows we produce" I answered.
"[name] is there any chance we will get to see the new line up live soon?". I glanced over to CC unsure. We were planning on going on tour at the beginning of next month. I didn't know if I was to still keep it a secret or not. CC answered for me.
"Black Veil Brides will be beginning their 2015 North American tour next month. Tickets go on sale this Friday". There was another explosion of questions and flashes. For the next few minutes I was forgotten about and all focus was on the upcoming tour. I watched Andy as he smoothly answered every question thrown at him. The press and public loved him. He appeared so kind and funny in the media. If only they knew what he was really like. I was so preoccupied resenting Andy that Jake had to tap my shoulder to tell me I had just been asked a question. My head jerked up.
"I-I'm sorry, could you repeat the question please?"
"Of course [name]. The public want to know who gave you that mark on your neck?" said a slimly bald guy in the second row. My heart stopped. I didn't know what to said. I looked to Andy, who stared straight ahead ignoring me. The bald guy spoke again. "We just want to know whether or not there is s special person in your life? And will it affect the band?" he smiled wickedly at me, waiting for me to stumble. I stuttered, trying to form a comprehensible answer. Thankfully, CC saved me yet again.
"Matters of the band members personal lives is of no concern for the press. We would appreciate in future if questions were dealt with in a professional manner. As of now, no further questions will be asked. Thank you for your time and attention" CC stood up, and I followed suit. We all left the conference room. I sighed a breath of relief. Finally, it was over.

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