Little Miss Suicide

"Come on, Alex!" Andy yelled as he ran up to the stage. It was our first time performing at Warped tour and we were both so excited.

We hopped on the stage and I took my mic from its stand.

"Are you ready to fuckin' ROCK!??!" I screamed, and everyone cheered.

As usual, we started out with our Rebel Love Song duet. As we ended the song, Andy dipped me down with one arm and kissed me. He was starting to get pretty creative with ways to show me off and I found it pretty funny.

We did our usual thing where one of us sings and one of us high-fives and interacts with the crowd, but this time the one high-five-ing sang backup and hinted at important parts of each song. Next thing I knew, it was the last song. This one would be all me, as part of my introduction to the band.

We had come up with a surprise for the fans before we came to Warped. I had written a song and a couple days after I agreed to come, Andy made me show it to the rest of the band. It took us tons of time practicing but we decided we'd play it for Warped.

"Alright everyone, this is a little surprise for you guys. You all will be the first to hear Alex's new song. She wrote it all by herself. This is a song we like to call Scars!" Andy yelled, and once again cheers blew my ears out. I took a deep breath as the guys started playing, then sang my heart out.

Except I didn't. I could feel my hands tingling and my heart racing, and I was breathing really fast. Hyperventilating, really. My legs felt like they were burning and my hands were all tensed up and wouldn't stop shaking. My knuckles were white as snow and I could feel tears in my eyes, but I wasn't sad. I was scared.

I knew this feeling all to well, and nausea kicked in as I realized I was having a panic attack in front of thousands of people. I was probably scared, way in the back of my mind, that this song would ruin the whole concert. Not only because I wrote it, but because I wrote it about my life. It was subtly hinting at my overcoming of all my troubles in life and my self-harming issues. It was a song of heartbreak and healing, and I loved it, but deep down I thought the fans would hate it and that scared me beyond belief.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pick me up bridal-style. I had closed my eyes to calm down without even realizing it, (seems to be a bad habit of mine,) but I could already tell it wasn't Andy. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Ronnie Radke carrying me off stage.

"I know a panic attack when I see one. Let the guys take care of this one for you, you need to relax," He said softly into my ear. He carried me off to the bus, ignoring the stares and complains of the fans.

I felt darkness seeping in and I tried my best to fight it off, but I couldn't stop myself from blacking out in Ronnie's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to Andy's extremely pissed off voice.

"Why the hell did you carry my girlfriend off the stage like that, Radke!?!?" He yelled.

I rubbed my eyes and peeked out from my bunk. Ronnie and Andy were less than a foot away from eachother and Andy looked like he was about to rip Ronnie's fucking heart out.

"She was having a fucking panic attack, Andy. Would you rather she'd have broken down on stage in front of thousands of people and had to live with that embarrassment for the rest of her life?!?" Ronnie growled.

Andy's face softened up a little. "O-oh..... well then, thank you, Ronnie," He said quietly.

He turned around. Realizing I was awake now, he ran to me and wrapped me in his arms.

"Is it true, Alex? Were you having a panic attack?" He asked. I nodded and sniffled a little, and he hugged me tightly. Ronnie smiled.

"Well then, now that we're all caught up on the shit that went down today, how about we have a little fun to calm your nerves?" He said, walking over and patting me on the back.

Andy frowned at him. "Ronnie, you know she's not old eno-"

"I don't care. Everyone needs to unwind every once and a while. Alex is no exception. She deserves to party a little what with all the shit she's been through, and even if she is too young for this, I think it should be her own decision," Ronnie said, cutting Andy off. He pulled out a beer and handed it to me.

"Only drink it if you're ok with partying with us all tonight," He said, smiling a little.

I stared at the drink in my hand, kind of shocked about what was going on. Then I realized, I'd do anything, and I really do mean ANYTHING, to get rid of all this damn stress and fear.

"Alex..." Andy said, but it was already too late.

I opened the can of beer and took a big sip, not caring about what would happen. I just needed to unwind.

I mean, it's just a little fun, right?

Notes

OOOOO o_o someone's about to get fuckin' drunk.

So. Next chapter's possible smut. If at least one person (OTHER THAN YOU RALPH DAMMIT) Says they'd enjoy it, I will consider including slight smut in the next chapter. I mean, Alex is going to get drunk, who knows what could happen??!

Thanks for reading! See you in the next chapter!
Xoxo,
-Raye-