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A New Kind Of Hell

Don't Call Me Ghosty.

Devin’s POV

Nightmares tormented what little sleep I got for a week. I struggled to tell reality from dreams and the guys began to notice. Playing it off was starting to not work; they were taking notice. The shows themselves were okay; it was the time between shows that was not going so well. Apparently, I sat somewhere on the bus having a full conversation with myself, and it freaked Balz out, because I was out of it completely. When he tried to talk to me and interact with me, he got no response. I don’t even recall anything about this. The last thing I remember about that day was going to my bunk to sleep.

Things began to blur together. The days had no distinguish and they all felt the same. When I finally realized what day it was, I began to panic. I had drifted my way through an entire week without realizing it. I managed to play and do everything I needed to do, but have no recollection of ever doing it.

I was now going on two weeks without my pills. Thankfully, we were more than halfway done with the tour. In about less than a month, I’ll be home ready to take my pills again and figure out what the hell is going on.

Coming back to my current task, I was drawing in a sketchbook I had. I had drawn one of the monsters that had eaten me alive in one of my nightmares. Closing the sketchbook, I went to go get coffee. “Hey ghosty.” Balz said. “What have I said about Ghosty?” I said to him with a bored expression.

“Not to call you ghosty, ghosty.” He said with a smirk.

Flipping him off, I made my cup of coffee. The sounds around me slowly turned to static noise as a ringing in my ears started. Balz’s face morphed into a creature from one of my nightmares. Shaking my head, I tried to make it go away.

“I’m going back to my bunk. Later.” I said to him before going to my bunk where I could pretend that this wasn’t happening. It worked for a while, but forcing it away always made it come back stronger.

The rest of the tour eventually blurred together. I have no recollection of some of the nights. There is a giant gap in between days and I have no clue what happened. At the end of tour, I was afraid of what the possible possibilities were.

Going home was the main one. So when I boarded my plane back home, I put my headphones in and tried to remain sane. When we finally landed, I got a ride from a friend and went into my apartment. It was the same as I left it, just as lonely as before. I had a bottle of extra pills thankfully. Popping the lid off, I took some and went to bed.

Notes

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