Devin’s pov

I wasn’t normally a gun person, but after Liam had gone to jail, I lived in fear of his return. Owning a gun wasn’t something I really talked about. It was more of a security measure I had if I absolutely needed it, and in this moment, I knew what I had to do. It would be self-defense, he’s an escaped convict, he’s hit me already, and it would be justified. Going to ‘get a suitcase’ from underneath my bed, I grabbed the gun and loaded it with one bullet. With shaky hands, I hid it as I walked out of my room. There was no way in hell I would miss the shot, I had only once chance.


“I’m so sorry.” I said. Lifting the gun up, I shot him in the chest without hesitation. I watched as he collapsed to the ground and blood seeped through his shirt. Taking his dying breath he said, “Bitch, you’ll always be worthless, no one will ever love you. Not when they find out you are a murderer.”

There was pounding on the door, but I couldn’t move, I was frozen where I stand. Not when I realized what I had done. Tears poured down my cheeks as I started to sob. The door opened. Holding the gun up, I aimed it at the person.

“WOAH Ghost put the gun down.” Chris said.

“DON’T COME ANY CLOSER.”

“Dev, we don’t want to hurt you. We heard a gun shot, and we panicked.”

“Oh you thought I shot myself didn’t you. Because everyone thinks I’m fucking suicidal.” I said in spite.

“Devin, we did not think that.”

“Then why are you here.”

“Because you ran out and we were worried. We heard the gunshot, what happened.”

Moving a side I pointed to the body behind me.

“OH my GOD.” Ryan screamed.

“He’s dead.” I said flatly. “He’s finally dead.”

“Balz call 911.” Chris said.

“NO! THEY’RE GOING TO ARREST ME! THEY’LL THROW ME IN JAIL. I DIDN’T WANT TO KILL HIM, BUT I KNEW THAT IT WOULD NEVER END IF HE WERE ALIVE. HE SAID THAT IF I DIDN’T GO WITH HIM, HE WOULD KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVED.

HE TOLD ME I HAD TO LEAVE THE BAND AND NEVER LOOK BACK. I COULDN’T DO THAT. I KNEW THAT WITH ONE BULLET, IT WAS HIM OR IT WAS ME.

I DIDN’T WANT TO BE BEATEN AGAIN, I DIDN’T WANT TO BE RAPED EVERY FUCKING DAY. I DIDN’T WANT TO BE BELITTLED EVERY MOMENT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T. PLEASE.” I shouted before collapsing into the ground.

“Devin, we have to call.” Chris said calmly.

Raising the gun, I looked up at him.

I knew the gun was empty; I only ever put one bullet in it. I only had a few. I had checked the clip and I knew it was empty. Putting the gun to my head with shaky hands I said, “DON’T YOU FUCKING CALL. IF YOU CALL, I’LL PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER. DON’T YOU FUCKING CALL.”

“ Devin, please put the gun down. One of the neighbors already called, don’t you hear the sirens, please just put the gun down.” Chris negotiated.

“No one could ever love a murderer.”

“You didn’t murder him, it was self defense.”

“I shot him. I shot him. I fucking shot him Chris. That’s killing someone. His blood is on my hands, its on my skin.”


“SCRANTON PD!” a cop shouted as he came through the front door.

“SIR PUT THE GUN DOWN. I REPEAT PUT THE GUN DOWN.”

“It was self defense, I swear, he was going to kill me. He wouldn’t let me live this time.” I rambled.

“Sir, please just put the gun down.”

I carefully put it down and gave up.

“What happened here?” the officer asked.

I pointed to the body and said, “he broke in. he was supposed to be in prison for 50 years. He was convicted we went to court. He had 45 years on his sentence still.”

“Is that the escaped Convict Liam Vega?”

I nodded.

The officer said into his radio, “I have found the missing convict Liam Vega. He is deceased.”

He then said to me, “I am going to have to take you to the station to question you.” I nodded through the tears. Putting me in handcuffs, he escorted me to the squad car. As he put me in, I saw the faces of my band mates, I wish I could read what they said, but I couldn’t.

When we got to the station, I kept my head down. Putting me in an integration room, I waited for them to talk to me. Laying my head on the table, I played with my hands. I thought about what I had done some more. Part of me felt incredibly guilty, but the other half of me knew it had to be done. I don’t know how long I waited, but it was probably already Monday when the detectives finally came in to talk to me.

“Hello Mr. Sola.”

“Hi.”

“Do I need a lawyer present?” I asked.

“Well, if you feel that you need one, yes.”

I made the phone call and had my lawyer there within 30 minutes, despite it being 2 Am.

“Were your actions today done out of self defense?”

“Yes.”

“Now, we know you had history with the deceased, it is also shown he is convicted for sexually assaulting you, and abusing you, is this true.”

“Yes.”

“It is also been discussed that he was on a 50 year sentence, but escaped prison, meaning he was a dangerous and harmful loose convict. Due to the District Attorney understanding the shooting of Liam Vega, there will be no charges placed. It was self defense, as the said victim was a criminal seeking revenge on the one who put him in jail.”

“Is Mr. Sola free to go?” my lawyer asked.

“Yes and No. Yes as he is not under arrest, but we would like to see him receive psychiatric treatment for today’s events, as well as the condition officer O’Brien found him in.

“And that is…”

“With a gun to his head, threatening his own life.” The detective said.

“Devin?”

“Is it mandatory?”

“No.”

“Then I’d like to go home.”

“Well, your home is currently a crime scene, and the media is having a hay day.”

“Am I allowed to make a statement about what happened if people harass me and threaten me? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gotten death threats. I like to dress as characters on stage and well, one of my said characters had received a lot of backlash, and I got death threats.”

“The DA will make the official statement. The case is closed, and no one blames you for what you did frankly, it was an escaped convict, and a very violent one. Shooting him was in self defense, you have bruises from when he strangled you, yes?”



“Yes, I have bruises on my Neck, Ribs and cheek. If it makes any sense, I had gotten a text message from an unknown number at 7:57 pm. They said they were watching me and described the event that was happening. I dropped my phone and it shattered. It fell into the pool and I don’t know if its still there, its at my friend Ryan’s house.”

“We did look into the phone records and did see that. That also proves self defense.”

“Well, MR. Sola, you are free to go, get some rest, and by the way, your friends care a lot about you. The other officers on the scene saw them panicking once we had taken you away. They care a lot about you, don’t push them away, they seem like good people.”


Nodding, the officer undid the handcuffs and I rubbed at my wrists. Exiting the room, I was walking away when a hand grabbed my elbow. I froze. “Devin, I think you should talk to someone, or at least spend the night with a friend. You’ve been through a difficult experience.” My lawyer said.

“Fine. I’ll call my mom or something.”

“I had the officer bring one of your friends over. The group chose the person they sent. He’s sitting over there.” He said as he pointed in a general direction.

Off in the distance sat Chris. Sighing I thanked my Lawyer before walking over to Chris.

“Hey.” I said softly.

“Hey. I uh, brought you a jacket. I figured that you’d probably be cold since you left without a jacket, and your clothes were previously wet from the pool.”

“Thanks.”

“Anyways, Ricky grabbed some of your stuff from your apartment. It’s over at your moms. She knows what happened. She wants us to stay with her, so we’re going there next. Is there anything you might need that Ricky may have forgotten?”

“Medications?”

“Got all of them. All four.”

“There are actually 5.”

“I know. He counted, the other one is in my bag.”

“I take it you know.”

“Yup.”

Running a hand through my hair, I turned away from him.

“Hey. I’m not mad. Not really. I’m more upset than mad. I’m not upset at you either. I’m mad that we didn’t notice, and when we did, it could have been too late.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. And I also know that you cant quite it cold turkey but we’re going to work on it. We’re going to get you better.”

“okay.”
“It’s like 1 am, and the drive to your mom’s is like 30 minutes, we should get going.” He suggested.

I nodded. Following him out, we kept our heads down as the newscasters asked questions. Getting in the car, he turned the radio down to a soft murmur in the background. Pretty soon, we were driving the back streets to my mom’s apartment. My thoughts were a mess. Trying to process the last 7 hours, I honestly had no clue what to feel. I took a life, granted that the life I took would have made an attempt on mine, would have beaten and raped me over and over, it was a life.

Chris must have sensed my inner turmoil because he said, “Dev, You did what had to be done. He had already hit you; you have bruises on your neck and ribs. He was supposed to be in prison for 50 years. He was also, someone who hurt people and enjoyed that. He hurt you for so many years. You lived in fear for so long. He hurt you so bad. I understand why you did it. I would have pulled the trigger if it were me. No one blames you. Everyone who needs to know the situation in order to keep the media away has been informed.

They were only told minor details: it was self-defense, and it was an escaped Convict. For the next few days, maybe weeks, we’re going to lay low. When we do go back to shows and interviews, it will most likely be asked about. Nothing will be said without your consent, and my consent. I want to protect you, if I feel that it is more bad than good, I will defuse the situation.”


“He may have been so bad, but what if he changed.”

“Dev, you’re trying to rationalize him.”

“Don’t tell me what I’m doing.”

“Devin. You told me all those years ago, that if you ever tried to defend him, to make you realize what you were doing, that is what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to do what you asked me to do.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, anyways, your mom got your bed ready, everything is taken care of for right now. Ricky is getting you a new phone in the morning. Do you want the same model or upgrade?”

“I don’t know. Whatever’s affordable.”

“I think he said it was an Iphone 5.”

“okay, that’s fine, I don’t really care.”

“Well, to be fair, you had like an Iphone 3.”

“And it was very nice. It did all I needed it to do.”

“ I think its time you join us on the Iphone 5 train.”

“Whatever you say Mr. Giant.”

“Yes, whatever I say. Any who, what color?”

“I don’t know. You pick. I don’t care.”

“Fine. But if I hear a complaint, I am telling you that you told me to pick.”

“Fine.”

“Anyways, we’re here.”

“Okay.” I said as I got out of the car and walked with him up to my mom’s door.

I wanted to crawl into bed immediately but I had to clean up.

“Your mom drew a bath for you, while we were on our way. Its all nice and warm and ready for you.”

Nodding, I went to the bathroom. Riding myself of clothes, I stood naked in the bathroom staring at my reflection. So many thoughts went through my head faster than I could process. Stepping into the tub, I carefully sat down. Letting the warm water splash against my skin, I closed my eyes.

Notes