Chris’s POV

Devin had been weird after he had gone to the liquor store near the venue, it was literally like 1000 feet from the back door, and it took him almost an hour to get back. He had been very quiet when he returned and didn’t say much. After that night, which was like three and half weeks ago, things got weird. It was small things that wouldn’t normally alarm me, but when they were reoccurring and in the same manor, it was becoming worrisome. For example, he would not go anywhere alone without one of us. Then he wouldn’t go outside alone if it was dark. At first it was odd little things. Like he asked if Ryan wanted to go down to the grocery store to get makeup remover wipes with him.

The guys and me speculated that it was just his anxiety like when he was in high school. But when he practically cried when Ricky said he couldn’t go with him to go buy something, we knew shit was off. Devin, our resident secret badass, was refusing to do shit that he did all on his own before. We got really, really worried, but none of us knew what to say. We wanted to ask, but we had no clue on how to go around doing that.


“You’ve got to be kidding me? There has to be a mistake? We booked 4 rooms. Two rooms had double beds and one had the single. What do you mean you only have three rooms? ” I said annoyed.

“Sir,” said the hotel worker, “There was an error, what I can do is charge you less for the three rooms. Instead of it being 300$ for one night for all three rooms like it normally would be, I’ll charge you 205$. We are all booked up, someone must have overbooked and said we had more rooms available then what we actually have. Sadly its happened before, I’m sorry.”

“Is 205$ going to change the fact that somebody is going to have to share a bed, and we’re all moderately sized grown men who are tall? I love my friends, I really do, but I do not want to necessarily share a bed with them.” I said trying to argue a lower price, Hey, if they were going to not have our reservation right, might as well try to get the best deal we could, right?


“The lowest I can give you sir, is 195$? Is that fair compensation for you?”

“That would be lovely.”

The lady then got all of the stuff done and handed me keys.

As I walked up to the guys I said, “good news and bad news. Pick a room key. One per person.”

They gave me a look.

“Good news, I got three rooms for 195$. Bad news, there’s only three rooms.” I said.

“So basically we pulled room keys like straws and we go and figure out what we got by trying the doors?” Ryan asked. I nodded.

“We have rooms 207, 213, and 221.” I said. Getting in the elevator, we went up and began the room hunt. So far, Balz and Ryan found their rooms. Ghost was next, then Ricky and Vinny. Apparently, two of were going to have to share. Three rooms and 6 people, what a great mistake.


Balz and Ricky shared a room, and each got their own bed. Ryan and Vinny shared and got their own bed. That left Ghost and me. Luck did that of course. Going into the room, he saw that it was me that would be sharing a room with him.
“There’s only one bed.” He said softly.

“Oh.” I said.

“ I’ll sleep in like the tub or something if you want me to”

“You don’t have to do that. We can figure something out later. I think there’s a couch in here or something.”

He pointed to the couch, which was really small.

We met up with the rest of the guys and went out to get something we could make that way we could keep our costs down. We bought frozen pizza and some healthier stuff, which we made in Ryan and Vinny’s room since it was the mid point between rooms. Since it was our night off, we all watched a movie in their room before we all ended up going back to our own rooms.

Once Dev and I were in our room, we tried to not be awkward. We changed in the bathroom individually and when it was time for bed, I told him I’d take the couch even though I knew I would be way too tall for it. He claimed the couch long before I could tell him to take the bed.

I told him that if he couldn’t sleep there on the couch, he could come to the bed if he wanted. I knew that I was probably crossing some invisible line, but at the point of exhaustion I felt, sleeping in a bed instead of a moving van for the first time in months was something I did not want to miss. Within minutes of being in bed, I was out like a light.
Waking up to noises in the bathroom, I turned on the lamp beside the bed. Devin wasn’t on the couch anymore. The clock read 3:03 am. I was about to turn the lamp off and go back to sleep when I thought I heard crying coming from the bathroom. Getting out of bed, I went to the bathroom door and knocked softly.

“Dev.” I called out softly.

“Go away.” He replied.

“What are you doing up at 3:10 in the morning?”

“Going to the bathroom.” He said more like a question then a statement.


“Why does it sound like you’ve been crying?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Open the door, please.” I said softly.

When he didn’t, I asked again. I sat outside the door for twenty minutes before he opened the door. He looked like hell. His hair was all over the place and the dark circles under his eyes were unforgiving. It took him a moment to go to the bed, he was doing things at his own pace and I wasn’t going to rush him.

I moved to the bed slowly and stayed in his line of vision as I sat down beside him, on his right. I hadn’t even asked if he wanted to talk yet when he was already crying and rambling.


“If you’re not ready to talk, I’m not going to make you. But I would prefer if you slept in the bed. I can take the couch or the floor. I don’t care.”

“I don’t want to talk, but I know I need to talk, but I really don’t want to talk about it. I mean if I talked about it, it meant that it happened, and I want to forget it. I really do. Why do bad things always happen to me? Am I cursed? Did I like piss in some ancient burial ground on accident and this is their way of getting revenge?” he said rambling.

I touched his hand and he flinched. “I went to the liquor store, remember? It was really close to the venue. Well in the dark, it’s not as close as it seems. I should have never gone alone. I should have gone with some one or not even gone. How stupid am I?” he said, before getting up and pacing.

“This guy, he…he pulled me into an alley.” He said. I put the pieces together.

“I went to throw the clothes away but Ashley thought they were cute and said she’d keep them. I really wanted to throw them away. I don’t care if it was one of my favorite skirts. I want it gone forever. I want to forget it.” He said with his eyes cast to the floor.

Coming back to the bed, he sat down beside me real close. Knowing not to push him into anything uncomfortable while he was worked up, I let him do what he was comfortable with. He got close and mumbled, “my demons are my best friends, its chaos up in my head.” I knew what he meant. I gently pulled him closer and he found his way into my lap, with his head in my neck, like a small child.

When I felt wetness on my neck, I began to rub his back and rock gently. It took awhile but he fell asleep in my arms. I loved having him in my arms but I was at war within my own head. Tucking him in, I went to go back to the couch when he grabbed at me and said, “Please stay.” Getting into the bed, I laid beside him. Closing my eyes, I drifted to sleep.

Notes