Left Broken

The rest of that day I ignore his texts and calls. I spend time with Kathy and ignore what happened, and yes I told her, shes not happy...


The next day I'm still ignoring him and spending time with Kathy before she goes to work.
"I don't want to go home when you go to work!" I whine, "Hey maybe Troy can hangout I haven't seen him in forever."
I text him and Kathy and I walk to meet up with him. We meet up on the trail and sit on one of the benches and start talking. I tell him what happened with Gus and that I don't want to go home later. He hugs me and says he can hangout. So that's what we do. We go back to Kathy's and literally bullshit and talk for hours until she has to go to work. Then I go with Troy to pick up his dad from work. Once we get back to his house we have no idea what to do.
"Want to walk to our park?" I ask him
He does his normal shoulder shrug and we're off. We walk all the way to the park we used to spend every movie night at together back in the summer after Freshman year. When we get there my inner child comes out of course, I climb on the slides and just run, laughing at the look on his face as he watches me. Then I get serious. We go to our spot, across the bridge, up the steps on the equipment, and sit at the middle and left slides. We read the new graffiti about blow jobs and booty calls and laugh.
"Do you remember that night when your brother tried to sneak up on us?" I ask with a laugh as the memory crosses my mind
"Yea." Is his response, and it makes me smile
A small child want to play on the slides so we decide to move to the benches. We start talking about all the memories we have at this one park, in that one spot...

Once it starts to get cold we walk to my house to get a coat and some money. I end up taking him out to eat and after that we end up at the small lake in our town. We walk down to the dock and I have a seat and stare out at the water. Troy joins me in sitting and we sit in comfortable silence for a while. Then I say...
"I don't know why I stay."
He just looks at me, knowing I have more to say.
"All we do is fight. I'm scared of him most the time, and I know that love isn't fear. Hell being here with you is more love than with him." I laugh
He cracks a small smile. We sit like that, laughing and talking. Then I look at my best friend of 5 years...
"I'm fighting a war with myself"
"Oh yea? I have a feeling I might know what it is."
"Oh yea? What does it involve?" I crack a smile
"It involves the facial muscles. Particularly the lip region."
I crack up at my best friend and shake my head yes...

We get up to leave, I grab his hands and look at him. He looks back at me and sighs. A sigh of "defeat". Then we lean in, and our lips connect. I feel something that I haven't felt in a long time. The flood gates in my brain break open as all the feelings for my best friend that I had locked up for 3 years drain my brain. I get a rush as his lips move with mine, and know I have to keep myself in check. When the kiss is over, I'm glad it's dark so he can't see the blush on my face. I hug my best friend and take his hand in mine. We walk, hand-in-hand back to his house...

Notes

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