Left Broken

Things with Gus and I have been terrible lately. We argue more than we get along. HE almost broke up with me last month through a note in my kitchen while I was laying in bed. When I asked him why he said...
"You are not the girl I fell in love with. You never want to do anything all you want to do is sleep or cuddle. I want to go places do things, hangout with people. You are mean to me all you do is yell at me even when I do nothing wrong..."

Ever since the day the tension between us has only built. Today is no exception. Actually today is one of the worst days. I stayed the night last night, but Kathy and I have a girls day planned today, Gus is not happy...
"You won't even spend the morning with me!" he shouts
"I told you last night that I was leaving around 11, why are you acting like this!?!? I tried waking you up at 9 so we could spend time together!" I shout back
"You should've known I wasn't going to wake up at 9 in the morning!"
"Well I'm sorry but"
"You're not sorry! You don't care about me, you just want to go hangout with that fat bitch you call a friend!"
"Don't say that about her!"
"What the fuck are you going to do about it huh!?!?"
I see nothing but black in his eyes, I know it's dangerous to continue this argument, but I won't let him talk about her that way. I go to shove him, he swats my hand away! The argument progresses. He grabs his XBox cables and says he'l be right back. I know what he's trying to do, I grab his arm, try to take the cords. He throws them on the ground, grabs my arms instead, tosses me on the bed. He goes to pick up the cords, but I get up again.
"Put the cords down!"
"If you know what's good for you, you'l let go of me." his eyes a darker black
I don't listen to the warning and continue to struggle for the cords. This time he tosses them across the room, and grabs me again, and tosses me on the bed. He charges like he's going to hit me, I curl into a fetal position. He just screams some more as he punches the bed next to where I'm laying. I sit there and cry, tears streaming down my face. Eventually I sit up, back up against the wall...

He doesn't stop. He keeps yelling. I don't even remember what he said, but I do remember me getting frustrated. Me banging my head on the wall in frustration. Next thing I know he has my shoulders, tight in his grip.
"You want to hit your head on the wall!?!? Here let me help you!" He screams as he uses all his force to try to bang my head against the wall.
I curl up into a ball again so he can't hurt me. What he says next has nothing to do with the conversation that just took place but he says it anyway, to hurt me.
"You going to cry? Going to that emo band that isn't shit! THE BAND THAT DOESN"T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU!"
I go to punch his, but he's faster.
"They don't give a fuck about you! They don't even know you exist! They don't care about you, or any other emo loser freak out there that wants to die. All they care about is their money and how much they can make! Everything they say is because they are payed to say it! What? Not going to say anything? Apparently you're not as true of a fan as you say you are because you aren't defending them! Because you know it's true!"
"SHUT UP!" I scream as tears fall down my face, he only said that to hurt me, and it worked! I wish I could prove him wrong, let them know they know about their fans, but now isn't the time.
Screaming shut up was the wrong thing to do because he comes at me again, I curl into my ball and he laughs...

Now he lays on his bed, eyes red with tears. I had to fight a razor out of his hands earlier, and now I'm fighting him to let go of the blankets so he can look at me. I pull and pull and eventually he bolts up, snot all down his face, tears melted into his skin, eyes bloodshot, and he yells at me.
"Leave me alone! I lied okay! I lied! I was NEVER the bully! I was bullied!" Then he rambles on and on for what feels like an hour but is only ten minutes.
Once he's done rambling I try to console him. To hold him, but he pushes me away then laughs. Not a cute laugh, no it's a laugh that you know something is wrong, that someone has snapped. He has a pillow case in his hands.
"you know to much..." he whispers as he slowly lifts his head...
One look in his eyes and I know something isn't right... Then it happens.
The pillow case is around my neck. Not tight enough to hurt me...much. But I'm scared, don't let him see it though, just put on a face of annoyance.
"Gus... Gus stop." I say calmly even though my insides are screaming!
He stops and cries...


Thirty minutes later I am walking from his house to the dialysis center to meet Kathy. Do I tell her?

Notes

Sorry this is such a long chapter.
This was actually the hardest chapter for me to write, because it happened a month or so ago and it's still fresh in my mind. I had to pause a lot while writing this chapter because... well obviously flashbacks. But anyway...