I'm a Loaded Gun

I stared at the buzzing phone. Andy shifted to see the phone. I reached over him and picked it up. I unlocked it and tapped the messages button. Three messages. I opened the conversation from Travis.

Travis: Wats the deal?

Seth: idk, she's being all bitchy and won't do anything. This place is crawlin with emo fags and she latched onto the singer of some shit band here. She's all over him.

Travis: bang it or hang it

Seth: gonna try again tonight

I threw the phone back to the other side of the couch. I couldn't. I couldn't. The tears gushed over my lids again.

I felt Andy's arm wrap around me. His gloved hand rubbed gently up and down my back as I sobbed into his chest. What had I done to deserve this? Three years if complete loyalty in exchange to be his piece of ass. Uh huh, sure.

"What a bastard." Andy mumbled. "You don't deserve this. It's not fair."

"No one does, but didn't anyone ever tell you that love isn't always fair." I choked through the tears.

"I believe I heard that somewhere, I even wrote a song about it."

"Oh yeah." I pulled away and wiped my eyes. My fingertips were covered in black streaks. "At this rate my fingers will be black forever." I laughed.

"That's nothing compared to this horrible skin condition I have!" Andy said. I looked at him,
remembering he was still covered in war paint. The paint on his shoulder was slowly fading and bleeding where my face had been.

"I'm sorry I smudged your paint. Why did you come over here anyway?"

"Well we finished our set and I noticed when you got off stage that you looked upset. I was gonna come over here later, but I heard the commotion."

"What commotion?"

"You were pretty fucking loud. I heard banging on the side of the bus and the windows are open. I heard you saying stop. I walked in and when I saw him..." he trailed off.

"Thank you, so so much Andy. I don't think I could have stopped him."

"No problem. I didn't like that douchebag from the start. I hope he falls in a fucking hole."

I couldn't help but laugh. The grimace on his face was just funny. He looked so serious. He soon joined in, laughing with me. I stood up to go clean up my face. As Andy stood up I hugged him. "Thank you, again."

"Sure, sure. I'll make sure we have security outside of the bus tonight. And here, I'll put my number in your phone, if anything happens tonight or tomorrow let me know and we can handle it."

I handed him my LG neon. He smiled when he opened my phone, seeing the background was a picture of an angel with the lyrics from Carolyn. I blushed. He entered his number and left the bus. I watched through the window as he walked back to his bus. His back disappearing around the corner of the BVB bus.

Its true. Love isn't fair. Love is almost never fair. Life is hard. But I have to continue, no matter how confused I am. I picked up the blade from the floor as I walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, shocked by how horrible I looked. My eyes were completely surrounded by the smudged black eyeliner and mascara. Long fading streaks flowed from my eyes and onto my neck. I turned on the water, splashing the freezing liquid onto my face.

I was drained, physically, emotionally, mentally. I collapsed onto the couch, closing my eyes, waiting for the dark peace of sleep to engulf me.

Notes

Thanks for all the comments guys (: