Love Never Fades

The morning after going out to the local bar pretty much as soon as they came off stage, Ash came to his senses after being jolted awake by a roiling stomach. The only time that ever happened when he wasn’t genuinely sick was when he overdid it on the alcohol, and considering the amount he drank, he knew the cause.

As quickly as he could manage, he tossed the covers off himself and made a beeline for the tiny bathroom on board. He was a bit startled to make the passing realization he was nude, but then again, he slept in the nude more often than not, and not just when he was on tour. What startled him even more, and therefore made the roiling of his poor stomach worse, was the searing pain in his back and ass. Normally, he’d have thought nothing of waking up nude and in pain like that, and would’ve been grateful for getting laid the way he wanted to, but there was more to it.

Even as he threw up the remnants of the liquor he’d guzzled the night before, he came to the further realization that he’d woken up next to his best friend. Again, not an uncommon occurrence since they were forced to share the back room, where the only queen-size bed was. For the moment, he didn’t know if he, too, was nude or not, but he supposed it didn’t really matter.

Once he finally felt well enough to move a short while later, Ash rose on shaky legs and brushed his teeth after flushing the toilet. He had to hold onto anything in sight since he was a bit light-headed from his hangover, but that was normal after a binge. He paid no mind to Jinxx, who peeked out of his bunk and paid as little mind to his nudity before disappearing again, as he made his way back to bed. However, the sight he discovered upon pulling back the covers to go back to bed almost made his heart stop.

“Oh, no…” he breathed quietly, mouth covered and eyes wide. “Oh, Godsmack, no.”

It was pretty obvious that Andy was just as nude as he was, and considering that he’d not only woken up nude and in pain, but in the same bed… Well, it didn’t take a brain surgeon or rocket scientist for him to figure out that he’d crossed a line he’d never meant to cross with his best friend. Hoping that he didn’t remember upon waking up, and that his body didn’t betray the secret he’d kept ever since his pediatrician made the discovery upon his entrance to puberty, he crawled back into bed.

Considering that he regularly overheated in his sleep, especially while drunk, he’d just play off his nudity to that and suggest the younger man had done the same. He wouldn’t say a damned thing about his pain, and definitely not the sex unless he showed signs of remembering what’d transpired between them the previous night.

* * *

A month later, Ash was lounging on the bus while the others were preparing for the last show of the tour before they headed home. He hadn’t been feeling too great for the past week or so, but especially the last few days. Of course his friends were worried about him, but he down-played his illness, saying that he probably just caught the flu, and with rest and plenty of fluids, he’d be fine.

What none of them knew was that, in a rare case of genetic roulette, as he called it, he’d been born with a very unique ability. Not only could he father children in the traditional sense that men could, but he could carry and give birth to them the same way that a woman could, as well. None of his friends, not even Andy, was aware of that because he never felt the need to tell them, but he suspected that had something to do with his current illness. He just needed to wait for them to go on stage so he could do something to confirm his suspicions, then plot his next move from there.

Once they’d all cleared off the bus, thus leaving him to rest since they’d made an announcement to the fans that he wasn’t feeling well, he got up and locked the door. He knew they wouldn’t be back for a while, and that would give him ample time to do what he needed to, that way he could figure out what he was going to do next.

Reading the instructions for the little plastic stick he’d laid on the tiny counter, Ash knew that it was now or never. As embarrassing as it was, he quickly uncapped the little stick and held it steady as he pissed on it. None of his friends would let him live down being forced to take a pregnancy test and he knew it, hence why he planned to hide it, if it turned out to be negative. If it turned out to be positive…well, he was going to be hiding far more than just a capped little stick of plastic.

“Oh, my fucking…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence as he viewed the results a few short minutes later.

Right there in as close to black-and-white—or more aptly, pink-and-white—were results that he’d hoped he’d never see in his life. In the little window midway down the pregnancy test was a little pink plus sign, and he was far from stupid. If he hadn’t known he was a hermaphrodite, he’d have thought he was crazy. Considering that he did know, coupled with his symptoms, he knew without a doubt that he was pregnant.

Tears welled up in his eyes as Ash realized the implications of these results. Not only was he to become a father—or a mother, depending on how one looked at it—he was carrying the child of his best friend. He considering himself too young to be a parent, especially since he was working so hard to achieve his dreams. But Andy…sweet deities alive, Andy was a tender nineteen years old. If anyone wasn’t ready for a child, there was no doubt in his nearly overwhelmed mind that it was his best friend. As confused as he was about what to do, he was certain of one thing—he had to get out of there.

As quickly as he could, the bassist went to the back room and grabbed his last remaining clean clothes, then started packing everything he owned. His plan at the moment, since he wasn’t really in a frame of mind to think as clearly as he’d like, was to get as far away from his friends as he could.

With his belongings packed into his bags, Ash sat on the foot of the bed and scribbled a quick note, knowing that time was of the essence. His excuse was that, despite being so ill himself, he got an emergency call from his grandmother, whom had raised him with the help of his grandfather after his parents’ deaths. As close as they were due to that, he felt the need to somewhat back-burner his own health long enough to go back home to Missouri, and that he was sorry for skipping out on them on such short notice.

“I’ll miss you guys,” the bassist whispered to the thin air, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looked around the bus one last time.

He quickly grabbed his bags and started wrapping straps around himself, quickly heading a short distance to a café down the street. From there, he got the number to a cab service and called for a cab, knowing he’d have the cash to pay for it. If there was nothing else he kept on his person at all times, it was cash for when he got into tight spots.

Upon the arrival of the cab, he got assistance from the cabbie in getting his bags into the trunk before begging for a moment to catch his breath. The man took one look at him and asked if he needed to go to the hospital, and he shook his head. Ash told yet another lie and let him think that he’d just eaten some undercooked meat or something, not wanting him to freak out and deny his services if he thought he had the flu. Once he felt better, he allowed the man to help him into the back seat.

The ride to the airport was quiet, considering that he didn’t feel well and had a lot on his mind, to boot. Once they got there, he quickly got his things and paid the cabbie, thanking him profusely for the sudden ride he’d requested. The man smiled and told him not to worry about it, and that he hoped he felt better, before getting back into the yellow car and pulling away from the curb he’d pulled up next to to let him out.

“Ashley?” a voice asked when he made a quick call a few minutes later.

“G-Grama,” he stuttered, trying to hide his tears.

“Ashley…oh, God, Ashley, what’s wrong?” the elderly woman asked, immediately concerned since he could tell something was wrong.

“Grama, I fucked up…big time,” Ash said, somehow managing to steady his voice enough to hide his emotional state from those around him.

“Oh, God…you’re pregnant, aren’t you?” she asked. Leana Crosswhite wasn’t stupid, and considering what she knew about his biology coupled with his tears, she knew what was wrong without having to be told.

“Y-yes, Grama,” he answered shakily, nodding even though she couldn’t see him. “I’m at the airport now. I’m coming home for a while before I decide where to go next. Andy’s the father, and I don’t want him knowing since he doesn’t seem to remember sleeping with me last month.”

“You know you’re welcome here anytime, Ashley,” his grandmother swore. “In fact, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, since I know this is hard for you.”

“Aside from not wanting to be a burden, I don’t wanna stay too long,” the bassist said. “I left a note for the others saying that I’d gotten an emergency call from you guys so they wouldn’t worry about me too much. That’ll be the first place they look for me after I effectively disappear.”

“And that’s fine, Ashley; I understand your reasoning, and so does Grampa,” she said, sounding a bit sad. “Call me back with your flight information, and we’ll be at the airport when you land to pick you up.”

“Th-thanks, Grama,” he answered, smiling through his emotional turmoil. “I dunno what I’d do without you guys.”

“You’re our grandson, Ashley; Hell, you’re practically our son,” Leana told him. “If we didn’t help you when you had nowhere else to turn, what kinda parents, and even grandparents, would that make us, hmm?”

“You’ve got a point,” Ash chuckled, wiping away a few more tears. “But I’ve gotta go so I can go get a plane ticket home. I’ll call you back soon with that flight information.”

“All right. I’ll keep my phone by me so I don’t miss your call,” she promised. “You just be safe till you get here.”

“I will, Grama. Talk to ya soon.”

Within moments, he was dragging his luggage into the airport to buy himself a plane ticket to Springfield-Branson National Airport. It was about thirty miles Northeast of his hometown of Aurora in Southwestern Missouri. If there was one place that he would forever have roots to, it was the place he grew up, and that’s where he was temporarily going now.

Once he had his plane ticket, he went through security before taking his carry-on over to a waiting area to get off his feet while he waited for his boarding call. He paid no attention the looks he got for being a guy with long, black hair dressed in more black than not as he sat down and pulled out his phone. Like he’d promised to do, he quickly called his grandmother back with the flight information so she’d know when to pick him up and from where, and made the phone call as short as he could.

Since he knew he was going to have to turn it off once he boarded, anyway, Ash went ahead and turned his phone off before the boarding call ever came. If he could help it, he didn’t want his best friend having any way to track him, and therefore his whereabouts, down since he was going into hiding. That meant turning his phone off and getting a new one, as well as a new number, once he settled wherever he chose within the next few weeks.

After he heard his flight’s boarding call a short time later, he grabbed his carry-on and made sure the necessary documents he needed to show to the boarding attendant were in hand. He smiled tiredly as he showed her the documents, then quickly boarded the plane and found his seat. With his carry-on stowed in the compartment overhead for now, Ash sat down in his seat and strapped his seat belt loosely over his lower abdomen. His new life without Black Veil Brides—and therefore Andy—in his rearview mirror was just beginning, and while that saddened him, he knew it was for the best.

Notes