I pursed my lips dubiously, staring at the boxes.
Was she really being a bitch when she sent me all that, or was she trying to make amends?
Should I even look through them?
God, I bet some of them probably had lead paint, maybe she was hoping the baby would eat on It.
No.
Iwasnt going to look through it, I was going to donate it as soon as I got the possible chance and let someone else enjoy all of It.
I looked down at my stomach, feeling her feet pressing against my ribs again, her favorite position apparently and it was driving me up the fucking wall.
Aggravated, I scooted to the edge of the couch cushion, aware that I looked like a big walrus as I waddled my way into the kitchen, craving cheesecake that I knew we had stowed away in the freezer.
My phone suddenly rang, Carry the Torch by Motionless in White filling the apartment.
Ugh, why did I leave it on the coffee table?
Did no one understand I couldn’t move quickly when I left things places that wasn’t within the immediate two feet?
The call ended before I got to It, and I struggled as I leaned down, lifting it up and calling Chris back hastily.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Lee!"
"Hey."
"How've you been?"
Was he just calling to chat.
I bit my lip, glancing at the time.
Andy would be back soon.
"I'm good, super pregnant and bitchy, but good. How are you and Sabrina?"
"Better then we were before --- that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."
"It is?"
I pursed my lips even more. What could I have to do with that?
"We're getting married!"
OH.
"You're getting married!" I gasped, my eyes widening. "To Sabrina?"
"Yep! We're planning it for summer, and I'm hoping you can attend it. Sabrina's really excited about it, and ---."
He was messing up so bad, not that I wanted to tell him that. Sabrina was really nice and all, but they had so many issues, and if they were setting the wedding so far forward it at least meant she wasn’t pregnant, not like I was.
"Is it gonna be big?"
"Huge," he sighed. "But, that’s okay, I guess."
"I hope you know this will mean I'll have to bring a screaming baby along with me," I reminded him. "About the time you say your vows she's probably going to start pitching a fit."
"Have you met the guys in my band? They'll probably join her," he chuckled, and I grinned slightly, having to agree.
"Okay, point for Chris on that one. Are you excited, at least? What made you decide to propose?"
I needed details.
"Oh, well... I didnt, technically, propose, I guess." He sounded a litlte embarrassed. "It just sort of... got brought up, and then I kind of asked if she wanted too, and she said sure if I wanted too, and then...."
"Chris," I sighed. "That's not what you're supposed to do. There's supposed to be a party full of people, or a romantic dinner, or ---."
"Says the girl whose boyfriend proposed in an airport."
"Hey, it was romantic!" I defended him instantly, slowly sitting myself down on the couch as I thought about it. "It was heartfelt, anyway."
"Were you happy with your Vegas wedding? I mean, usually girls want this big thing."
"Considering the fact I already looked like I swallowed a house, a big wedding would've taken time and that's not something I had," I sighed. "And I never wanted a big one anyway, I never expected to get married."
"Really?" Chris sounded surprised. "I always imagined you in this big poofy white dress with Vale holding your train as you walked down the aisle."
I snorted, amused. "Like Vale would do that."
He chuckled.
I hesitated, hearing the key start to scrape the lock on the front door.
"Oh, Chris, I gotta go but --- congratulations!"
"Thanks!"
I hung up quickly as Andy stepped inside, looking tired as usual.
"Hey," he sighed, tossing his keys and jacket on the counter.
"Hey... Chris Motionless is getting married."
"What?" Andy blinked a moment, looking kind of surprised as he kicked off his boots under the bar stools. "To who?"
"His girlfriend, Sabrina. They're planning it for the summer." I informed him, leaning back against the couch cushions. "We're invited."
"Are we invited or are you invited?" Andy raised his brows as he walked into the kitchen, fumbling through the fridge until he found a beer. "You're the one who's friends with them."
"All of us are, I'm assuming, he knows I wouldn’t go without..." I trailed off. "I mean, unless you don’t want to go, then that's fine."
Did he not want too? I knew he was probably still mad at me, though he was the one being such a jackass all the time, so I didn’t see why.
Iwasnt sure if he evenliked Chris.
"It doesn’t matter to me," he shrugged, sipping his beer as he fumbled the cigarettes out of his back pocket and sat them on the counter, already half-smoked.
I sighed, turning away and looking down at my phone where I sat in my lap, my thumb nervously moving across the screen.
I guess we did need to talk about the other day when I'd said we werent in love anymore.
Itwasnt that I didn’t love him, I just... it didn’t feel the same.
Did this always happen during marriage?
Iwasnt sure, maybe it was, maybe that’s why there were so many unhappy and divorced people in the world.
All of this had been such a mistake, we never should have gotten married...
"What is it?"
"Hmm?" I raised my head, seeing Andy had sat down on the other couch and was looking at me, his brows brought together as he frowned.
"Something's bothering you. What is it? Are you not excited about their wedding?"
"No, I am, but..."
"But...?" He prodded, propping his feet on the coffee table.
I sighed. "I just don’t think It's a good idea. They have so many issues and they've broken up so many times and it'll only end up badly unless they really get their stuff together, and he didn’t even propose right! I don't think technically he even proposed," I rolled my eyes. "Chris is always such a baby about things."
"How did he propose?"
"He said the subject of marriage got brought up, and she said she would if he would, get married, and it kind of went from there."
"Ah," Andy looked down into his beer. "So no on the knee or anything?"
"I guess not."
"Is it gonna be a big wedding?"
"Huge, he said. Lots of people on the guest list." I rubbed my shoulders as they started to ache, no matter what position I got in. I could never get comfortable anywhere anymore, and it was driving me crazy.
Aggravated, I dropped my hands back into my lap, unable to help my own self with anything, it seemed like.
"Here," Andy suddenly sat his beer on the table, and I watched him warily as he stepped over to my couch and sat beside me. "Let me do that."
"Do what?" I frowned at him as he started to turn me around where I faced the TV instead of him.
I felt his hands close over my shoulders, and after a moment I let my breath go, his hands kneeding the knots there and making it feel so much better after a few moments. I closed my eyes, leaning into his grip, relaxing.
"Better?" He asked after a few minutes, and I nodded, glad I'd worn my hair up today so it wasn’t falling down my back, though a lot of strands were escaping from it at this point.
"So much better," I breathed, and he chuckled, his thumbs moving in circles down my shoulder blades.
"I read somewhere that this helps, you pregnant women get all tense."
"Can you blame us? We're carrying around ten extra pounds."
"Leah, you've barely even gained five pounds through your entire pregnancy."
"It doesn't feel that way --- oooh."
That felt so nice.
Likei hoped he never stopped ever nice.
I heard him chuckle, and after a few seconds I felt his lips press against the back of my neck, and I hesitated, my eyes opening.
His arms suddenly slipped around my waist, above my baby bulge, and he pulled me back against him on the couch, nuzzling my neck and already overly warm.
"Don’t be mad at me," he mumbled, pressing soft kisses against my shoulder. "Please dont. Idont want it to be like this."
I looked down, my hands clasping his arms. "I don’t want it to be this way either."
"Then let's not let it be," he murmured, and I leaned back against his chest, giving up on trying to keep some distance between us, it just wasn’t comfortable.
His cologne mixed with smoke drifted to my nose, oddly comforting, but maybe it was because it was familiar.
"Do you think we're going to be good parents?" I asked after a moment, staring at my legs.
"I think... we're going to do our best to be," he said thoughtfully. "Because we can read as many books as we want, but I don’t think It's going to help in the long run."
"I guess you're right," I sighed, glancing at the stack of parenting books I'd bought on a whim but had never read, or even opened for that matter.
"Leah, don’t worry about it so much, we're going to do great. You're already mothery as it is, and I can teach her all the things not to do." I smiled slightly at that. "So I can't imagine it's going to be an experience. But it'll be easier with Vales mom here, right?"
"Yeah. She's going to come just after new years," I bobbed my head. "She said the baby could come at any time then."
"ANY time?"
"Yes. So if I wake up freaking out in the middle of the night, you know why."
I think he grimaced.
"It's not that bad," I sighed, and he squirmed a little, pulling me between his thighs and snuggling closer to me, oddly affectionate.
This was weird.
I thought he hated me?
"Are you, like, drunk or something?" I asked after a minute, feeling a little uncomfortable now.
"What? No, why would you say that?" Now he sounded startled.
"Because you're never this affectionate to me," I mumbled, a little embarrassed. I looked down at my hands. "You, I dunno..."
"I … thought you didn’t want me to be," he said after a moment, his breath tickling my ear, deep and soothing as always.
I could honestly listen to him talk forever except for when he was yelling at me.
"I thought you didn’t want too."
He gave a huffy sigh.
"Is this the whole bad communication thing they're always talking about?"
"I guess so. I think we need to work on it." I leaned back to press a kiss to his scruffy cheek, since we were being cuddly and stuff.
"Maybe we should read those books after all," he chuckled, and my lips twitched as I looked down again, feeling relaxed.
I winced as Gracie suddenly kicked again, knocking into my ribs some more, and Andys hands slipped down to cover the spot.
"Come on, Gracie, don’t be mean," he chided at her gently. "You know better than that."
I swear she moved in a disgruntled way.
"She already listens to you," I sighed. "She hates me."
"She doesn’t hate you, she's not even born yet."
"I feel like it's taking forever," I grumbled. "I've been seven months for eight months already."
I felt his chest move as he chuckled, holding me tightly against him, and it was incredibly comforting.
He hadn't held me like this in a really long time.
I giggled involuntarily as he blew a raspberry on my neck, making me cringe.
"Andy, noooo!"
"I think you mean yes!"
I laughed, trying to flail him away as he started to blow raspberries on whatever skin he could reach, making me eeek --- they were so gross!
He grinned, and he shuffled slightly, and for a second, his lips brushed mine.
And then the phone rang.
We stiffened, and both sighed as we looked at the coffee table.
"Mine or yours?" I mumbled, closing my eyes and trying to pretend it wasnst ringing.
"Mine," he grumbled, reaching for it.
He answered without even looking at the caller, his face buried in my neck again, but I could hear the voice, and I recognized it pretty quickly.
"Tell him to call back later," I muttered, turning to glance up at Andy. "You're busy."
"I can hear her," Ashley's annoyed voice replied. "Is she hormonal again?"
"Uh. We were kind of busy," Andy flushed, pursing his lips. "And she's literally right here, Ash."
"Wow, you're that close to her?"
I was going to punch him in the balls.
It must have been written all over my face, because my husband chuckled, leaning forward to kiss me, ending the call without another thought and tossing it over on the table.
He leaned me back slightly, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back, missing the feel of his lips against mine.
"I'm sorry I'm so evil," I whispered.
"I'm sorry I'm not more understanding," he murmured, caressing my face.
"Can we call a truce and forget I said what I said?" I asked after a moment, hesitant. I stared at my knees, hoping he would agree, hoping I hadn't ruined everything by being stupid, even if what I'd said had been true.
Ididnt know how I felt anymore.
"Yes," he said after a moment. "Forgotten already."
"Good," I smiled, and kissed him again, even more excited for the baby to come out so we could return to our old ways.
"You don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore," I murmured in his ear, and I knew he was relieved.
"Good. I never knew how uncomfortable this thing was until now."
"Just wait," I chuckled. "When Gracie's born, you'll think the couch is the best thing ever to sleep on."
"I'll think a pit of vipers are comfortable to sleep on," he rolled his eyes. "I'm already trying to treasure my sleep now."
He should, because if she was as active outside the womb as she was inside when it was night time, we were in a for a handful.

Notes

I meant to have this up earlier, but halfway through writing the chapter Tumblr somehow snuck up on me and, like, sucked me in.

And I think I've complained six times now, but the MIW fan fic page is down and I'm so damned devastated Dx One of my favorite stories is on there that I was writing, and like a complete freaking idiot I didnt save the first three chapters of it that I posted, because hey, NO ONE TOLD ME THE DOMAIN WOULD EXPIRE

I am like severely upset over this, I just need to rant some more before i end up crying when it finally sinks in they're not going to renew.
Hell, I would even pay to renew it, that's how serious I am.
*sigh* fan fiction is consuming my life.

Thanks for reading.