All I Can See Are These Flames Around Me

My heart was beating hard against my rib cage the second Andy left the room and shut the door behind him. Okay, I'll admit it that I am terrified of Ashley. No shame. I sort of wish that he hadn't come with Andy, or that he had fought harder for Ashley to stay behind. He doesn't really have any place being here. If he wasn't here, I would feel so much less stressed about this delivery.

Ashley slowly walked across the room and sat down in the spot that Andy had just risen from. In complete fear, I watched him. God only knows what this man wants to do to me. Ashley cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. I swallowed hard and tried as hard as I possibly could to stay calm.

“Nikki?” It surprised me how soft and caring his voice was.

“Y-yes?”

“I am so sorry, for everything that I’ve done everything that I’ve caused.” Unsure of what to say I just nodded.

I guess it’s nice to know that he’s sorry now. I’m not in the middle of giving birth to his child or anything. Nothing even moderately important at all.

“Ashley...” I whispered, not looking him in the eyes.

“Yes?” His beautiful brown eyes were alive with hope, which only made my stomach sink into an incredibly deep hole.

“I want to forgive you. Believe me, I do. But Ash, right now I just can’t.” Guiltily I watched his eyes go from bright and alive to dull.

Sighing, he simply nodded. I could tell that he was in the process of gathering his thoughts.

“I understand Nikki. If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t forgive me right away either. But I just want you to know that I want to be apart of this baby’s life. It took me too long to realize that, and I’m sorry. Nikki, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say how sorry I am to you. I just hope that you’ll maybe allow me to be in some part of this child’s life, if not as a father at least as something close to that.”

Ashely’s words made tears slip down my cheeks. Did all of those words really just come from the one person that I’ve hated for the last nine months? There is no way in hell that this man sitting beside me is the same one that told me I could have an abortion and he would be fine with it.

No, it's clear that this isn’t the same man.

Ashley has changed.

I pushed away my tears with the back of my hand and swallowed a lump in my throat. Leaning forward I wrapped my arms around Ashley’ s neck so that I was holding him tightly. It took him a second, but Ashley carefully hugged me back and kissed my hair. I was still sniffling when I let go of Ashley.

“Ashley, I very much want you to be part of Caleb’s life. You helped to give him life and you deserve to be with him. Will you please be something like a second father to Caleb?” Biting my bottom lip I was unsure where all this trust for Ashley was coming from.

It's probably just my nesting instincts.

“Nikki, I would be more than happy to be a second father to Caleb.” Ashley was starting to get misty eyed.

“Good, I’m glad.” Ashley stood up and began walking towards the door.

He isn’t really a man that likes to stick around when emotions get involved. I've learned this trait of his personality well.

“Ashley?” I waited until Ashley was at the door before I called for him.

“Yes?” Turning slightly he gave me a half smile.

“Thank you.” Clearly confused, Ashley leaned up against the doorway.

“What for?” Smiling just a little, I placed my hand on my stomach.

“For him.”

Notes

Gahh part of me hates this chapter and the other half of me loves it.
The last chapter is on it's way!
What do you guys think about Nikki letting Ashley in her life?
Good idea or a bad idea?

Let me know what you guys are thinking!
I love you all so much!