All I Can See Are These Flames Around Me

In absolute fucking disgust I watched Jake and Andy fawning over an ultrasound picture of the child that rightfully belonged to me. To be honest, I don't really give a shit about the kid, but seeing how happy Andy and Jake are over it is making me feel like someone has ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I want nothing to do with the kid or Nikki for that matter. But if that was really as true as I wanted it to be, then why does my heart ache at the thought of never being able to hold that baby?

“Hey, Ash you want to see Caleb?” Wait a second. Caleb? I helped to create a baby boy?

My throat suddenly became raw with tears. Coughing I glanced over at Jake and Andy from my spot on the couch. If this kid is technically half mine, do I get a say in what it's named? Not that I have a problem with the name that has been chosen for it, I just would have liked to been part of the naming process.

“Caleb?” Andy looked like his heart had just been ripped out when I questioned him.

“Yes, Caleb, my child who's due in two weeks.” The way he said "my" made me scoff.

His child? Bitch I don’t think so.

“Your child?” Andy glared at me as he set the photo down on the counter.

“Yes. My child Ashley.” Unable to stop myself I scoffed yet again.

“Andy, as of the last time I checked, you didn't have a fucking thing to do with the creation of that child. And from what I heard, Nikki dumbed your sorry ass like a goddamn piece of trash a couple months back." I won't say that the tears that had started brimming in Andy's eyes didn't bring me any joy, but I also won't say that they did either.

God I'm such a heartless dick.

“Ashley!” Jake growled, his eyes were slits.

“What Jake? What?” Clenching my fists I didn't see why everyone was now getting on my case about this.

“That was unnecessary!” I rolled my eyes. Unnecessary my ass!

“Like I fucking care. To be honest I don’t know why Nikki just didn’t have an abortion when she found out she was pregnant.” I'm pretty sure that’s where I went too far, because Andy stood up in anger and lunged for me.

Amazingly even though there was very little space on the bus and Andy really only had to step forward and he would have probably gotten me on the ground, Jake caught him and held him back. Andy didn't even bother trying to hide the tears that were running down his cheeks. I probably shouldn't have said that... Oh well, can't really take it back now, can I?

“Take that the fuck back Ashley! Caleb is the fucking greatest thing that’s happened to Nikki and I!” His statement made my laugh .

Right about now Nikki must be so pregnant that she’s fucking tired of carrying that kid. Hell, I’ve done the math out so many times and she’s probably really only got a handful of days left until that kid pops out. So she must be currently hating her life.

“None of that is fucking true, Andy. And you know it! You don't even fucking love Nikki. You only wanted to be with her because you know how much it kills me seeing you with her!" My eyes went wide

Fuck.

I shouldn’t have said any of that.

Notes

I'm sorry that this chapter is kind of short...
The next one is going to be good, I promise.
What do you guys think about the change in prospective?
Yes? No? Maybe so?
Let me know, my lovely readers!
:D