My Darkest Desire

There is screaming and flashing lights all around me right now but all I can focus on is Andy. I look around confused. "Me?" A smile grows across his face as he nodds his head yes. He stretches his arm down into the large crowd taking a risk of being pulled in, and I look over at Megan who is recording everything with her Iphone and swallow what feels like a large brick. I take Andy's sweaty hand and squeeze, as he pulls me up with serious strength onto the stage and smiles even more. I try to avoid having an anxiety attack by not looking at the heavy crowd of BVB fans watching me with hungry eyes, and turn away. "Are you okay?" Andy asks quietly. I look up at him and sweep the bangs out of my face with my hand. "Just...fine..."

One hour earlier...

'Okay, I love you." I say as I give Ashley one last peck on his cheek before he leaves for the Tour Bus. He gives a slight smile and brushes the hair out of his face with the end of his guitar, then walks out of the dressing room without a word.I sigh and walk over to the huge mirror on the wall with a million glowing lights around the edges and smile at my reflection. My smudgy green eyes, long lashes, and thick eyebrows, have always been the most attractive features on my face, and seemed to give off a very edgy looking vibe right now.

But continuing to admire my "Special" features wasn't making me secure that I looked great. Instead, I am starting to feel more and more unsecure by the second. "Don't worry, you got this girl. I look great" I said aloud to myself as I combed my fingers through my super "Scene" bangs. I really want to look my absolute best for Ash, when he sees me in the crowd screaming out his name and dancing to his amazing guitar solos. "Hey Renee." I hear a really poppy voice and turn around.

My friend Megan is standing in the doorway with her phone in hand, and is scrolling through something. "God Megan!" I sort of yell in frustration at the fact that she could have just been polite and knocked. She looked up from her phone and laughed a little. "What the fuck is your problem?" She asked in a really sassy tone. But I could feel heat rising in my chest and an ocean of insults about to fall out. So I just marched my way out of the room, leaving Megan alone to be an impolite ass all by herself.

Halfway down the empty hallway, I realized that I didn't know where I was going, so I stopped by an ovesized door at the end of the hallway and leaned up against the wall. "Renee!" I turn my head and see Megan franticly running down the hallway with a worried expression on her face. "What?" I snap. She finally makes her way up to me gasping for air, and pulls out her phone for me to look at. I take it and click it on, just to see that we have fifteen minutes to get going if we ever wanna make it to the BVB concert.

I hand Megan's phone back to her and start to feel an overwelming dizziness and anxiousness. I lean by back against the wall again and take slow and steady breaths. It's my anxiety. Not Good."We have to get going, like right now." She suggested, not even taking notice to the fact that I am having an anxiety attack.

"Megan!" I yell. She stands up with a puzzled look on her face. Almost as if to say, "What? I was just trying to help." But I gave no sympathy to her "Oh, feel bad for me..." face. And just continued walking at a slower pace down the hallway and out the oversized door. Megan's un-intelligent-ness was really getting on my nerves. And I don't know why she was acting so strange. And honestly, I just can't worry about her right now. The fresh air from the outdoors hit me really hard, cold and dry. It was a sunny and crisp day, but dispite the hot temps from inside the studio, the fresh cold air didn't feel good at all.

Notes

This is my first Fanfiction, so please no rude comments. (But advice and ideas would be awesome.) :)))