Faint

*Five Years Later*

Andy's POV:

I straighten my black tie before running a hand through my now drown hair. Over the past few years, I've gone back and forth with the colour, but she always said she liked it better this way it seemed more, natural. I've also removed almost all of the metal which used to decorate my face, however I still have my earring, but lip ring and nose ring are gone now. She liked them, but wearing them became too much of an effort, especially when you're twenty-nine and still have piercings scattered across your face.

"Andy? Ready to go?"

I glance at a somber looking Ashley in the reflection of the mirror. I assume my facial expression is similar to his, all of ours are, today at least. Some days are better than others, some days we manage to smile genuinely, but it's rarer for Ash and myself. The other guys still sometimes laugh, but not like they used to, it reminds us all too much of her laughter. But they get to move on, a little bit each day.Me, I'm stuck in an endless cycle, waiting to wake up from it, waiting for her to kiss me awake from this haunting nightmare, but it never comes, she never comes. I imagine Ashley has it worse, if possible. After all, she was his baby sister, he has so many more memories of her, with her. The day after it happened, he just sort of broke down. Repeating how it was his fault, how he could've, should've prevented it somehow, by spending more time with her. By being there for her when she really needed him. We all tried to console him in some way, but we all felt similarly, wondering secretly if maybe, maybe if we had just payed her more attention during that dreaded first Black Mass show, none of this would've happened.

Could anyone blame us though? After what we went through, it still seems surreal.I mean, one day, she was alive, she was breathing. She was happy, and smiling. But thinking back to that horrible day, I realized that perhaps those weren't real smiles after all. Maybe she was only pretending so that we could share one final day together, where everything seemed like it was alright.

I remember everything and nothing about that day. I remember what she wore (my Batman shirt and jean shorts), her hair was down, and it smelled like coconut. She wore a new perfume that day, it smelled like strawberries, and her finger nails were painted black. She didn't wear any makeup that day, something about preferring to stay natural one last time. I distinctly recall her saying those words, yet I shrugged them off, not knowing her true intention for later.

I don't remember her voice, which seems absurd, but I don't. Sometimes, I try and think about it, the way she pronounced my name, but it's all blank. Like she was just a dream. But no, she's not that, she's a memory now. Nothing more than that. A fragment of times and dates and clothes and colour, but those too, fade eventually, until nothing of her will remain.

She died on May twenty first, a month after escaping her captors.

We never did find out who kidnapped her, but I thought I saw someone uninvited at her funeral, towards the back, hidden behind a tree. the menacing note that started this all all those months ago flashed through my head an before I could act upon it they were gone. I guess whoever took her was right, they would see me at her funeral.

She died from an overdose.

One night, after claiming that she was going to take a bubble bath after dinner (which she didn't eat), she simply took pill after pill after pill of everything and anything she could find in the bathroom. No one checked on her until later that night, and by then, her wrists were stained with blood, and the pills had stopped her heart.

Today is the anniversary of her death.

Five years later.

And I miss her more than ever.

Because she's gone.

Forever.

Today is her birthday. And she would've been twenty-four as of today.

We would've gone out for dinner, and I'd serenade her, and then she'd cry and hug me. We'd laugh and kiss, talk and just enjoy being in each other's arms.

But we can't.

And we won't.

Because she's gone.

And then I lost it all.

And I believe that we all fall down, sometimes.

Only this time, I don't know how I'm going to get back up again.

End of Faint.

Notes

Hello everyone.

First off, I would like to thank you all so much for supporting me through the journey that has been Numb, and then Faint. This story was my baby, and I never anticipated it getting this far. I never dreamed it would become so popular, and I have you, my beloved readers to thank for that.

First off, I understand that many of you will be upset with my ending. And I'd like to explain that.

you see, I originally wrote Numb right after my brother left for university, and through the time that has passed, one question always popped into my head. How would he react I committed suicide? Obviously, I cannot even find the answer to that, so I chose to base the ending of this story on that note.

What happens next to Andy and the guys is now up to you. You can think up your own version of the ending if you aren't happy with this one (I've done that too many times to count so feel free.

One thing I would like to address is that this story IS NOT closed. It's if anything, temporarily finished, but who knows, I could change it. So keep that in mind and keep your eyes out for a probable book three.

Until then, I love you guys so, so much, and I cannot thank you enough for this.

I love you all, and I hope you remain healthy and happy for the remainder of your life.

Yasmin.