Inside a Hypocritical Faker

Raven/Lilly

I had be thinking about everything. I stop my pacing and look at Andy, "What exactly do you want?" He is still sitting on the bed, leaning on the head bored, his fingers wrapped behind his head. "Well," he starts letting out a sigh, "you. Simple. I hated I had to kill your mom and dad. They were good friends, but when they didn't give you to me, well it made me mad." I felt chill bumps form on my skin as he got up and walked over to me. I intently held my breath as he laid a soft hand on the side of my face. In that moment I forgot that he had killed my family, that he kidnapped me, that he was the reason that I had to hide my feelings inside myself. "I have always kept an eye on you. I hated when you cried, and knowing I was the reason." I looked at him. A single tear started to run down his face. My thumb caught it before it could fall from his face. I rubbed my thumb and pointer finger together, examining the tear. Do monsters still feel? I felt a hand wrapped around my wrist, snapping my attention back to Andy. "I know saying 'I'm sorry' won't help. Every day after I did...that, I was haunted by what I had done. I knew you hated me. Please....do you think you could ever forgive me?" I stood silent. Could I? I stopped my fingers from rubbing together. In his eyes, pain and guilt swam around like sharks. Words would not form in my mouth. My heart felt anger and..... a fondness towards him, my brain on the other hand, chose to stay out of this conundrum. I opened my mouth, still no words. "If you can't right now, I understand," Andy let go of my wrist and walked towards the single door in the room. "Andy wait!" For some reason I didn't want him to leave me alone. I held my hands together in front of me. He stopped walking but didn't look at me. I slowly walked behind him, placing my hands on his lower back, "I just need to understand some more."

Two hours later Andy told me any and every thing I wanted to know, again. This time I didn't zone out. I laid on the bed across from him, but ended up laying next to him, my head on his chest, as he played with my hair. I know I shouldn't be doing this, cuddling with the man that killed my family, that is a monster, but it just feels right... I now know that Andy had a short fuse...that he had a very protective watch over me. Like that one time some boy in middle school picked on me and threw things at me, and didn't come back to school, well Andy said he told his mom that he had beaten me up and that he need to leave, then again he had dressed like a cop and had people robe there house afterwards... What am I saying?!?! Andy is a horrible person! "That loves you," my hopeless romantic self whispered. I twiddled my thumbs like I was stupid. Am I falling for the devil? Do I want to? How is he doing this..?

Notes