Hell - Bent

Kate's POV:

Losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was trying to know somebody you've never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red

I'm sad to ay that during my week of free time, thanks to completion of my finals, I have been listening to practically every Taylor swift song out there. My new obsession with the song "Red". I'm not proud, but what we had, while not technically a relationship, was the closest thing I had to being happy, because of him. So I'm mourning the loss of contact with the person who brought me happiness, and am choosing to react like i should've acted after Kyle and I broke up. Not my fault he was a pretentious douche who slept around behind my back.

Aleks has expressed her worry and concern for me, attempting to cheer my up by Supernatural marathons, but even that can't make me smile. The closest reaction she's gotten from me is watching as i lip-sing to Taylor Swift's all too familiar lyrics. While Aleks doesn't necessarily approve of my new taste for the country singer's whiney lyrics, she tolerates them for my benefit. Maybe she's right, that i do have a problem, but for now, I am content with how i'm dealing with my heartache.

without school or studying to delve int, I'm at a loss. Hell, even cheerleading is done now that the snows are approaching, well, not for us, but it is getting chilly. I'm forced to watch season after season on Netflix of random TV dramas, along with the occasional interview of bands that I've grown fond of, though at the end of the day, without failure, I resort back to Taylor Swift. Sad, isn't it?

What makes matters considerably worse is Andy isn't completely out of my life, not by a long shot. Neither is Ashley, who has quickly become my new least favourite person, even beating Kyle and Jackie in that department. Those two asshole have started dating, an don't come around anymore. Jackie gave up on our friendship after I stopped coming to cheer practice, and basically became a social pariah, not that I care really.

Andy is consistent as ever, sending flowers and romantic notes that make me sick to my stomach. The guy really doesn't quite, does he? he's even had the nerve to venture to our dorms a couple times, thankfully, Ive never been home alone, and Aleks has quickly gotten rid of him. despite her previously idolizing the guy, she has remained stiff and won't let him enter the safety of our dorm. I really should express my gratitude to her more, since I know if I were face-to-face with him, I'd be putty in his hands, free for him to tear apart or mould as he'd like.


*1 week later*

Classes resume today, in an hour to be exact.

Aleks has spent the last hour, coaxing me out of bed, before practically dragging me out of the room, after dolling me up. She claims that after a bad breakup, (though Andy and I were never dating), you need to create a new 'you'. And since I never did that after Kyle and i broke up, aside from shopping with Jackie, i shouldn't waste any second now. She forced makeup onto my dry skin, using about a full tube of concealer and foundation to make me 'glow' as I used to. Then she picked out a flattering outfit that was way to dressy for first day back to classes, but i didn't bother putting up a fight. she was right, I needed this if I ever wanted to move on, and I did, so badly. at the same time, i didn't, confusing, isn't it?

"okay, will you be alright? Just give me a call if you need anything, i mean it Kathy, anything. Hell, call me in the middle of a lecture, I don't care, it'll be more interesting than Professor Jones yelling about the consequences of bananas or some shit like that."

I crack a smile at that, letting out a slightly hoarse laugh, which sounds strange, but the grin i get from her is worth it. She hugs me tightly, patting my shoulder with a warm smile before rushing off to her lecture hall. I smile after her, though it quickly fades as I turn away. she has become my best friend so quickly, I'm surprised that i actually thought so little of her before. I was so wrong about her, so entirely wrong.

I keep my head down as i walk slowly to my first class of the new semester. I should be excited, a new semester, a new chance of reinventing myself, one step closer to leaving school. But i simply can't find it in myself to pretend to be happy. because that is what i would be doing, i wouldn't be truly happy, i'd be faking.

as i get closer to the building, i accidentally bump into a towering form, and my thoughts quickly go to andy and his extreme height before I shake the thought from my head. He wouldn't be here, he wouldn't.

I glance up the person who I knocked into, and suck in a sharp breath through my clenched teeth. The bastard, the fucking bastard. He's here, of all places, he's here. Of all days, it had to be this one, the one where I had prepared myself to forget about him, even though i knew I'd never be able to.

He turns around just as i begin to scurry away, hoping to go unnoticed, but he catches sight of my exaggerated golden hair, and he smiles beautifully, his entire face lighting up. The sight nearly thaws my frozen heart, but i try my best to ignore his seemingly charming smile, I know what kind of person he is on the inside.

"Katherine! I've been looking for you everywhere! I'm so happy to see you!" He says happily, pulling me into his warm embrace.

I stiffen obviously, and cringe away from him, trying to untangle myself from him as fast as I can. I rock back and forth awkwardly on my heels, averting his piercing gaze as his face falls suddenly, catching on to my sour mood.

"er, uh, good to see you, i guess," i stammer, looking at my my shoes.

He reaches out for me, tilting my head up with is index finger as he bends to my height. A frown graces his lovely features, and i fight the urge to smooth out the creases in his forehead.

"I'm really sorry," he sighs and steps away, "I'll take it you haven't forgiven me yet?"

When i don't answer he stuffs his hands in his leather jacket pockets, nodding slowly. "okay, that's fair, I guess. I don't like it, but it's fair. But I just want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt you. Yes, my original intentions were to sleep with you, I'll admit it, but that change, things changed. After i started to get to know you. I swear."

I look away, tears welling in my eyes, forcing me to look away as I furiously blink them away, making him frown even more. "it was nice seeing you andy, but I have to go to class, I'm already late."

He nods sadly, smiling weakly at me. He quickly dips his head to brush his lips against my cheek, but I move out of the way just in time, "goodbye Andy. for the last time. Goodbye."

Notes

Interesting stuff is happening, very interesting... Okay, so not really, but still.

hope you enjoyed the chapter!