They don't need to understand

AN: Its a little late to say this but Andy and the rest of them are all in there teens in this story)
Meridia*

When we got home I wen't straight to my room not knowing how to take in all of this. I curled up on my bed and broke down in tears, not even 2 minutes later I felt my bed sin beside me and a hand rubbing my back "It's going to be okay" Andy whispered to me I shook my head and sobbed harder, he pulled me up into his lap and hugged me "It's going to be okay Mer. I promise.. I'm so fucking sorry for what I have been doing to you, How I have been treating you. It's not right, this is my fault.. Fucking all of it" now he was crying I tried to regulate my breathing but failed "i-it-s no-ot yo-ur fa-faul-lt" I choked out due to the panic rising in my chest, I broke free of Andy's grasp and fell to my knees on the floor trying to breath but only to have it come out in short choppy breath's, then suddenly Andy was right in front of me. I was still s sobbing mess "A-a-and-dy I c-an't bre-eath" I said panic rising even more, he grabbed a hold of my arms and made me look at him "Mer. Meridia, I need you to look at me, I know what you're going through right now, And I know that it is not fun. But I need you to concentrate on me and me only!" he said sternly but I couldn't. I physically could not calm down "Hold on stay right there, Just try and take deep breaths" I nodded and attempted to do so.

Andy had been gone for about 2 minutes and I started to freak. I made the stupid decision and stood up. too fast at that. The next few seconds were a blur, I remember Andy running in with a glass of water, Then I stumbled a bit as black dots covered my vision. I hit the ground with a hard thump.

I felt a cold cloth resting on my head and heard someone whispering to me, I slowly fluttered my eye's open to see Andy kneeling beside my bed "I'm sorry" I said in a small voice "It wasn't your fault Panic attacks happen" he stated handing me some water, I sat up slowly and took the water from him "thank you.." I said quietly he nodded and left the room, But returned moments later with a batman movie "scoot over" he said and i did so, and he popped in the movie and plopped down on the bed beside me and wrapped his arm around me, in a protective sibling sorta way after a while I fell asleep.

I woke up a few hours later to my bathroom light on and Andy going through something "Andy? what ar-" He cut me off "Where are they?" he asked "Where are wha-" "Don't play dumb with me, Your blades damnit. WHERE ARE THEY" He was starting to scare me, I didn't answer ans thats when he stood up and I took some steps back "A-andy please dont-" "Don't what?.. Don't save your life and take your blades away?" he said his voice getting deeper "Please. Y-You don't understand" I said willing myself not to cry he threw his arms in frustration, But I had the opposite Idea, I cowed away from him, pulling myself into a little ball shielding my head encase he hit it. When nothing happened I recoiled my self and looked at him, His face was in pure shock and guilt "Mer, No... I would never. You have to believe me" he said dropping to his knees in front of me "I just never know.. Andy. With how my dad was, and how... Ryan is..." I said looking down "I'm sorry that I ever thought you would hit me" I apologized "It's not your fault" He said while hugging me "Now... Where are they?" I cringed at that question "Pleas" I whispered "Meridia." I reluctantly got up and got the box full of my blades but took out my sharpest before giving the box over to him, I followed him to the bathroom and watched him flush them all down the toilet then looked back at me "I'm sorry.." I apologized "don't be.. I know its hard. But its going to be okay" I smiled up at him "thank you Andy" I said sincerely "any time" he said before leaving the room, I maintained my smile until he left then it turned into a frown as I searched for another box and a new place to hide it so Andy wouldn't find it.
I walked out of my room and out into the kitchen where Andy was "do you know when there coming home?" He looked up from the stove over to me "they said they would be home before Christmas that's all I can tell you" I sighed and looked down "there's 3 days till Christmas..." I said sadly "hey. Look at me" Andy said walking over to me, I looked up slightly "they'll be here. I promise" I mumbled a barely audible 'OK' before walking into the living room plopping myself down on the leather couch sighing to my self as I pulled out my phone "dinners ready" Andy shouted "I'm not hungry... But thanks anyway" I replied as I went through my text
Ryan:why have you been ignoring me you fucking bitch?!?!'
Ryan: are you fucking kidding me
Ryan: answer me!!!!
Ryan: I'm going to fucking kill you
I was so caught up In reading that I didn't heard Andy talking to me "AYE!" He shouted "sorry I zoned out." He sighed "I said" he began before putting the plate on the table in front of me "your going to eat" I looked at the plate in front of me then back up at Andy "I said I'm not hungry..." He sighed "please just eat some of it..." He said before going back to the kitchen, I slowly picked up my fork and started eating. I got Half way done my plate and pushed it away "I'm going out, text me if you need me, I should be back at 7" I looked over and gave a small "okay" before he left, as soon as he walked out the door I ran to the bathroom forcing up what little I had in my stomach.
I didn't hear the door open or Andy come up stairs but my hair was being pulled back and his hand was rubbing my back "I was afraid of this. I didn't want to believe it." He said sadly "I-I'm sorry" he sighed "stop apologising" I looked down "but.. I'm bring it on my self its all my fault" I stated quietly "says who?" He asked "Gee I dunno maybe your head bitch at school?" He gave me an unfamiliar look "jen is not MY bitch. I'm not dating her. I would rather lick a toad then the inside for her mouth" that got me to giggle a little "thanks. Andy..." "Welcome"

I laid down in my bed. I keept getting text from Ryan so I just turned my phone off and went back to sleep.

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