Why am I in a church? I can't be in here I'll burn! I look to my left and see Andy with his arm linked with mine. What is going on? "Today's the big day." He whispers. Big day? I look down the aisle and see Ashley in a tuxedo. There are so many people in here. I look down and see that I'm wearing a bright pink flowy dress and I'm holding a bouquet of flowers. What the hell? Andy takes his place next to Ashley, and I take mine next to a blonde girl. The doors of the church open and everyone stands up.

Kina walks in wearing a big, cupcakey wedding dress. Her face is aglow, and so is Ashley's. I feel like I'm going to be sick! She gets to the alter and kisses Ashley. I feel like I've been turned inside out. "Dearly beloved..." They say their vows, and the priest says. "I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride." Ashley kisses Kina, and I hit the floor.

"No!" I scream. "No..." I begin crying. I curl up in a ball and sob. Good thing the guys left, or they'd be in here. I grab my lighter off the nightstand and begin burning my thigh. Make it stop make it stop! I drop the lighter, and go out to the living room.

I sit down at the piano bench and start playing chords I've never played before, and then I start singing even though my voice is raw.


In my memory, all the small things, like daggers in my mind
In my memory, while my head bleeds, the words I'll never find
That I always meant to say to you I can't

Cause you turned your face, and now I can't feel you anymore
Turn your face, so now I can't see you anymore
Walk away until you're not standing at my door
Turn your face, walk away and stay

Turn your face, hmm oh

In my memory, I was hurting, long before we met, oh
In my memory, there's still burning, fingerprints you left
And I'll always meant to say to you I can't

So just turn your face, until I can't see you anymore
Turn your face, until I can't see you anymore
Walk away until you're not standing at my door
Turn your face, walk away and stay

Turn your face

Each time I take you back
You bring one thousand cracks
And I accept them, like a fool oh

So now what's your excuse
What do we have to lose
Since I'm already losing you

So hard to face, that I can't feel you anymore
Hard to face, that I can't see you anymore
So walk away, until you're not standing at my door
Turn your face, walk away, and stay

Turn your face
Turn your face, and stay
Turn your face

I take a deep breath, and slam my head on the keys. "Why aren't you mine?" I groan. I grab my phone, and dial Jinxx's number. I start crying again.

"Hey laci, what's up?" His tired voice asks.

"Jinxx?" I sob.

"Laci? Laci what's wrong? Talk to me Hun." He says gently.

"I just.. I just miss him so much!" I cry. Ugh why am I being so pathetic.

"I know sweetie, I know. Please tell me you haven't done anything to hurt yourself." I cry harder. "Aw Lace... How bad is it?"

I take a deep breath, move Ashley's sweatshirt up so I can see my thighs, and look at the burns. They look pretty bad. "It's not to bad." I stammer.

"Really?" He sounds like he doesn't believe me. I wouldn't either.

"Well.." I sniffle, "I'll live."

He chuckles a little. "I know you will Tum. So please tell me what happened, this didn't just come out of nowhere did it?"

"I, um.. had a dream..."

"Tum, you're not martin Luther King." He jokes.

I laugh a little. "It was more like a nightmare I guess."

"Uhuh..." He prods.

"I was at Ashley and Kina's wedding..."

"Oh geez... You're really taking this hard huh?"

"You have no idea." I sigh.

"Look, I know this hurts, but you're going to get through this. And as horrible as this sounds, I want you to break them up."

"What?" I gasp.

"She is so bad for him, but you. Oh you would be his saving grace. I can't stand to see him like this.." He sighs.

"Babe, who are you talking to?" I soft girls voice asks.

"It's Laci, dear."

"OOh let me talk to her! Hi Laci, you don't know me, but I'm Sammi, Jinxx's fiance. I just want you to know that we are here for you and we will support you whenever you feel down okay?"

"Okay." I smile.

"Oh, and I'll always be here to help you sabotage Kina." She giggles.

"Sammi." Jinxx laughs.

"Oh hush you. So anyway, I can't wait to finally meet you! The guys are always talking about how funny, and cute you are." She says.

"Cute?" I question.

"Well added that part. CC showed me a picture of the two of you in prom dresses. That must have been fun." Sammi is really nice.

"You have no idea." I smile.

"I had to take that picture." Jinxx laughs.

"Oh yes, woe is you." Sammi teases. "I can't wait to go on tour with you! We are going to have so much fun!"

"Wait you're coming with us?" I ask. I'm excited now.

"Yes! I'm joining you in St. Louis!" She exclaims.

"Oh my gosh yay!" I smile.

"Ah I'm so excited!" She yells.

"You two are cute." Jinxx chuckles.

"I'm not cute!" Sammi and I say in unison.

"Whoa ah I think there's an echo in here!" He laughs. We talk for the rest of the night. Sammi is really sweet. I'm so happy there will be another girl on tour with me. Wait. If she's coming then does that mean that Kina is too?

Notes