together we will be unbroken

I get up from the couch, and make my way to the back room. Vanessa is crying hysterically now. I lock the door. "Vanessa, honey, it's going to be okay. Just clam down." I'm pretty sure she didn't hear me or she is to wound up to register it. "Vanessa, love, you'll be okay." This is breaking my heart. She is like my little sister, and I can't stand to just sit here and not be able to comfort her with anything but words. Her crying turns to sobs and screams. Hot tears run down my face. I don't know what to do. She is beyond listening to words. Sing to her.

I sing her Savior, Caroline, and Knives and pens. I sing her some of my songs. All the while tears run down my face as I listen to her cry.

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I will be safe and sound.
More crying comes through the phone. Is this helping or am I just making it worse?

There is a soft knock on the door. "Laci? are you okay, can I come in?" Ashley's voice asks from the other side of the door.

I hold my finger over the receiver, so she can't hear me talking to someone else. I don't know if it would set her off or something. "Can I please be alone for a bit?" I say through the door.

"Yeah, sure." He said gently. "We are at a rest stop do you want anything?"
"aaaaa... a coffee would be great."
"Alright Rose I'll be right back." I hear footsteps and I put the phone back to my ear.

She has stopped crying, but she is breathing heavily. "Laci, I'm so sorry." her little voice wavers. "Gram, she just..." she begins to cry again.
"Sshh Vanessa it's okay." Gram is the cause of this?!?! She can do and say what she wants to me, but saying those things to Vanessa is definitely not okay. "Darling can you tell me what happened?"
She takes a few shallow breaths, "She..She... we got in a fight because I wasn't practicing, and she called me a failure, and... and she hit me." Oh god, please not her too.

"Listen to me Nessie. You're going to be okay. Can you tell me how badly are you bleeding?"
"I.. I don't think they are very deep." she sniffles. My heart is breaking.
I take a deep breath so my voice doesn't crack, "Where are they?"
"My wrists."
"Alright Hun, are you in a bathroom?" I hate this so much.
"Yes." her voice is shaking pretty badly.
"Okay, I want you to warm up some water, and wash off your cuts with soap. Be gentle okay." I hear the faucet turn on, and a cabinet door open and close. This is killing me. She is such a smart, beautiful girl, and I love her so much. I feel so powerless.
"Okay I'm done." Her voice is soft but it isn't shaky anymore.
"Do you have bandages that wrap around not the sticky kind?"
She lets out a little laugh,"Nice description Lace." I hear a cabinet door again. "Yes."
"Okay, I want you to wrap them around the cuts tightly, but not to tight." I shouldn't have to have this conversation with a fourteen year old. It makes me sick. "You can't wear short sleeves until those heal okay? Make sure you change them everyday."
"Okay Lace, thank you. I love you so much." What I wouldn't give to wrap my arms around her right now.
"I love you too Nessie. Do you want to talk about anything?" I find my self crying again.
"No, I have to practice. Will you call me tomorrow?"
"Yeah of course Love."
"Thanks, I love you bye." The line goes dead.
"I love you too..." I say into the dead line. Don't cry, they will hear you. To late. Sobs wrack my body.

Notes

This chapter broke my heat to write.