The Destroyer
Sleeping with a friend
It's been a week sins i wanted to kill myself, and i've been together with Jinxx everyday. he haven't left my side at all. I can't blame him, i did try to end my life, and he loves me like a sister. there is one little thing the boys don't know, Jinxx haven't told about my suicide attempt to anyone.
He want's me to tell them myself when im ready for it, but i'm not in the moment, i have to get over Ash or else i'll lose myself sooner or later.
Walking around on the street after shopping with Jake, he's pretty cool, he has a great taste in clothes and games ofcourse. i think he will make a good friend, and i'm hoping he want's to be my friend, or rather best friend.
My mind is over heating, i'm thinking to much about Ash and his ex, why do she have to show herself now when i was about to be happy, end maybe get a shoot with Ash, well i have to stop thinking about that and focus about getting to know Jake
" So Jake.. can i meet Ella soon?"
With a smile and some damn hot coffee in my hand
" Yeah she's coming on tour with us in a week sweetie" he said like he was so happy that me and Ella finally could meet each other.
" Can't wait Jakie..i'm hoping for the best you know" he smiled at me and gave me that look You'll be fine! it made me happy,.
we talked and talked for an hour and i got to know him pretty well, and we are going to play some Black Ops later tonight, he's pretty good at it tho, and i think i'll lose. But then again i think i'll have some fun either way.
On the way back he asked me something i didn't expect to hear
" Kea have you been feeling down after.. yeah you know with Ash and all" i felt tears beginning to appear in my eyes,
did he see me crying these last times when i was sitting alone, no i am sure no one had seen me..
" Yeah I've been sad and all.....and i have to tell you something, please don't hate me"
then i told him everything that happened at the bridge, and how Jinxx saved me, all the time i talked he was crying, and he was holding my hand, then he looked down and then he looked at me again
" Sweetie i'm here for you, please don't try that ever again... i can't bear to lose you!"
" i'm not doing it again Jake.. i promise.. and i'm trying to move on, and never think about Ash like that again"
Hours past and Jake and i was sitting on the couch playing Black Ops, Jake won 10 times out of 12 and i was getting tired from playing , then i wanted to get some sleep, but i didn't want to sleep alone. so i walked towards Jake
" Hi Jake do you think i can sleep with someone tonight?" he looked confused at me and then he took his phone and called someone, minutes after Andy walked in the room staring at me while smiling
" Kea i hear you need a place to crash.. and that you don't want to be alone" i nodd and then walked away from Jake after pulling him into a hug.
At Andy's room...
Talking to Andy about what happened to after i found out Ash was dating his ex again, and how i wanted to kill myself, Andy to was crying.
We had fun for 2 hours before i fell asleep, im so happy that Andy and the guys are here for me, but i have to tell my dear brother CC and Ash to, that i was trying to kill myself.
(feel your heart, finde the love you still have and take it, you don't have to be alone.. the friend you are sleeping together with today, may be more than just a friend... make this love bloom once again, and feel hole again - Dreaming about some weird dreams and about Ash and Andy, that line came to me like.. An angel was watching over me and wanted me to live, and believe in love... Can i find the love, that is hidden inside my heart, with so many locks, i'll fight for it)
ZzZzzzZZzz..... this is a good night sleep, i needed it.... and now i can sleep peacefully again.... Thanks guys, for being my friends and family..........zzZZzzzzZzzZ
He want's me to tell them myself when im ready for it, but i'm not in the moment, i have to get over Ash or else i'll lose myself sooner or later.
Walking around on the street after shopping with Jake, he's pretty cool, he has a great taste in clothes and games ofcourse. i think he will make a good friend, and i'm hoping he want's to be my friend, or rather best friend.
My mind is over heating, i'm thinking to much about Ash and his ex, why do she have to show herself now when i was about to be happy, end maybe get a shoot with Ash, well i have to stop thinking about that and focus about getting to know Jake
" So Jake.. can i meet Ella soon?"
With a smile and some damn hot coffee in my hand
" Yeah she's coming on tour with us in a week sweetie" he said like he was so happy that me and Ella finally could meet each other.
" Can't wait Jakie..i'm hoping for the best you know" he smiled at me and gave me that look You'll be fine! it made me happy,.
we talked and talked for an hour and i got to know him pretty well, and we are going to play some Black Ops later tonight, he's pretty good at it tho, and i think i'll lose. But then again i think i'll have some fun either way.
On the way back he asked me something i didn't expect to hear
" Kea have you been feeling down after.. yeah you know with Ash and all" i felt tears beginning to appear in my eyes,
did he see me crying these last times when i was sitting alone, no i am sure no one had seen me..
" Yeah I've been sad and all.....and i have to tell you something, please don't hate me"
then i told him everything that happened at the bridge, and how Jinxx saved me, all the time i talked he was crying, and he was holding my hand, then he looked down and then he looked at me again
" Sweetie i'm here for you, please don't try that ever again... i can't bear to lose you!"
" i'm not doing it again Jake.. i promise.. and i'm trying to move on, and never think about Ash like that again"
Hours past and Jake and i was sitting on the couch playing Black Ops, Jake won 10 times out of 12 and i was getting tired from playing , then i wanted to get some sleep, but i didn't want to sleep alone. so i walked towards Jake
" Hi Jake do you think i can sleep with someone tonight?" he looked confused at me and then he took his phone and called someone, minutes after Andy walked in the room staring at me while smiling
" Kea i hear you need a place to crash.. and that you don't want to be alone" i nodd and then walked away from Jake after pulling him into a hug.
At Andy's room...
Talking to Andy about what happened to after i found out Ash was dating his ex again, and how i wanted to kill myself, Andy to was crying.
We had fun for 2 hours before i fell asleep, im so happy that Andy and the guys are here for me, but i have to tell my dear brother CC and Ash to, that i was trying to kill myself.
(feel your heart, finde the love you still have and take it, you don't have to be alone.. the friend you are sleeping together with today, may be more than just a friend... make this love bloom once again, and feel hole again - Dreaming about some weird dreams and about Ash and Andy, that line came to me like.. An angel was watching over me and wanted me to live, and believe in love... Can i find the love, that is hidden inside my heart, with so many locks, i'll fight for it)
ZzZzzzZZzz..... this is a good night sleep, i needed it.... and now i can sleep peacefully again.... Thanks guys, for being my friends and family..........zzZZzzzzZzzZ
@xXHatakeSabiXx
thanks!
10/22/14