These things I cant keep hiding from everyone. Maybe its time to end my suffering, up until now I have never had a problem. Up until now I was a friend, not an outcast. Up until now I had no pain. Up until that date so long ago, I was complete.
I stand staring at my broken body in front of the mirror. Who am I you ask? I am no one. I am a nobody. I'm the one no likes, no cares about, no one wants to love. I have a few friends, but I'm the only thing holding them together. I cant tell them what I'm going through, it would push them to the edge. My red hair falls infront of my faces as blackened tears fall quietly down my cheeks. I had just been abandoned by the only family I had left. My own fucking brother disowned me. Everything was going wrong and now I had to go to work. Great, I get to be asked about the bloody sleeves, tear stained cheeks, and messy hair. I dont fucking care anymore. I'm just done...
I manage to pull myself away from the mirror and get dressed. I do my eyes darkly and dress very bleak. My wrists covered in braclets to mask my bloody wounds. My combat boots trudge darkly across the graveyard. I keep my head phones in until I reach the enterance to the Starbucks where I work. I shuffle blindly through and into the back office. I'm the manager, apparently Starbucks is the only place that hires used up freaks. God how I just want to be done.
"Hello how may I help you?" I mutter with out even looking up, a deep voice draws me out of my thoughts though. "What do you reconmend for writers block?" He asks voice hiding pain. I look up and my eyes lock with his icy blue ones. "Not Starbucks, this place sucks for that." I mumble wiping down the counters and he chuckles shyly. "I'm surprised you dont recongize me, after all my band is on your wrist." He smirks and I immediately hide my arms behind my back, his eyes might see something they shouldnt. His eyes grow in worry and I change the subject. "My name's Angel, whats yours?" I ask since he doesnt seem to be leaving any time soon. "Andy," He says and my eyes widen as I finally recongize him. "Andrew Dennis Biersack, Andy Sixx, Andy, whatever the fuck you want to be called. Wow..." I say shaking my head and he laughs. "Somebodys a fangirl." I just chuckle and smirk. "Dont you wish Andy, but no I'm not. You have some great songs and stuff, but diffentily not the top of line." I say bluntly and his jaw drops a little. "Shocked ya didnt I?" I ask and he nods slowly. "So how do you know my names then?" He asks thinking he's caught me. I gulp and look down as tears spring to my eyes. "My neice loves you guys..." I mumble and quickly turn around before he sees me crying. I can never see my little red head angel again, or my brother... "Are you ok?" He asks worriedly as I start shaking. I nod slowly, swolling tears. In truth I'm not. I never will be. I left my friends to move out here. To start over. Now I'm the outcast again. "Liar." He says and I shrug. "It wouldnt be like you cared. No one cares about a used up freak like me. Fuck it. I need a new job anyways." I mumble throwing down my apron and walking quickly out. I need to follow the only thing I have left. "Woah wait up!" Andy calls jogging to catch up with me, before I walk straight into the graveyard. I walk silently through the tombstones ignoring Andy calling for me, before callasping in front of my parents grave. "I wish you wouldnt have left me. Jack left me, I told you he would. Now I can never see my neice again. I loved her." I whisper sobbing quietly searching for the knife I keep in my pockets. I block out the world as I flip the blade open. "Angel, dont do that..." Andy whispers behind me making me flinch. I turn around and his eyes are saddened. "Just leave now ok?" I mutter and he flinches at my words, before a tear falls from his own eyes. "I wouldnt leave you alone now. That's just wrong." He whispers standing over me and I groan. I pull my self to my feet and manage to stumble to my house. I bang open the front door and Andy grabs my arm. "Dont do what I think your going to do. Its not worth it." He says before I slam the door in his face. God I just want to be done with this place. This all sucks. I scream and throw my phone at wall, before breaking down again. Am I really worth it?