I hated how this place made me feel. It made me feel ugly. Yet that isn’t what he said. He said he loved me, but why would he then hit me? He said I was perfect, but he hasn’t viewed the scars on my skin. Every second longer I’m here I die even more inside, and soon I won’t be here anymore. I haven’t felt anything lately besides the pleasuring tingle of the blade as it ran over the skin on my wrist and thighs. I spent every night trying to cry myself to sleep, but if I ever slipped under to the place I love, I was still followed by the demons of the day. God, Andy. I need you so much. I want you to wrap your arms around me and kiss my forehead and repeat to me that I’m safe with you.

---

My eyes opened to the sound of beeping from the kitchen, drawing in my breath and staring at the ceiling in the darkness of my room. My hair was a mess and so was I and everything else in my life recently.
“(NAME)! Get down here, now!” The voice screamed and I rolled off of my bed, opening the door and walking downstairs.
“What do you want?” I asked, eyes still almost shut from just waking up.
“I told you to fucking clean this kitchen by the time that I’m up. Could you explain to me why it isn’t clean?” He said and I suddenly felt awake now. He looked so angry and in his hand was a bottle of beer.
“I-I’m s-sorry...I fell asleep...I-I was...was tried…” I stuttered out, looking down at my feet and pulling my long sleeves down even more to cover my hands.
“Get it cleaned,” he said and left to go into the living room, which was right across from the kitchen. I started to wash the dishes, then clean up the counter. I placed all of the plates in the counter and grabbed glasses, turning. I must’ve not noticed the wet patch on the floor, causing me to fall. Before I hit the ground, four glasses did, shattering into millions of pieces. I gasped, staring at the pieces in shock.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” His voice yelled from the living room, but as he said every word they began to become louder and closer.
“I-It was an accident! I’m-I’m so sorry,” I sobbed out, tears streaming down my face at the thought of what he might do to me. His eyes burned into me and I hated the feeling of it.
“In my room, now,” He demanded and walked back to the living room. I avoided the pieces of glass and quickly went to his room, trying my hardest to stop crying but I couldn’t stop.
Minutes later he came into the room also, shoving me against the wall and starting to undress me along with himself. I couldn’t remember anything else that happened from their. And if I did once upon a time, I tried my hardest to forget and it worked. I wouldn’t be able to last here anymore.
I sat in my room, crying gently as I dressed myself, trying to avoid looking at the dark bruises that were on my wrists and hips, but was only able to see them along with the cuts. I had to get out of here, and now.
I saw where he kept the cellphone and also the keys when he slept. And like usual, he fell asleep quickly and early. The floors were well made so there wasn’t any squeaky floorboards. I pulled on a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, putting on socks and shoes. I grabbed 200 bucks from a jar of money he kept and thought I didn’t know about. I sneaked into his room and grabbed the keys easily, but couldn’t find the phone, immedeatley leaving the room and going downstairs. I opened the door and closed it quietly, locking it from the outside. Stupid of him only making one key. Then I began to run. Faster than I ran away from Kevin. I was only focussed on getting into town and being able to find someone. It was early in the morning, 4 o’clock exactly, so it was just getting bright.
I ran for such a long time. He really did live far back, didn’t he? That’s when I saw the familiar black and white car driving down the road; a police car.
“Oh my god...HELP! HELP! PLEASE HELP ME!” I yelled, waving my arms around frantically to get the car to stop, and it did. I couldn’t control the tears that streamed down my face.
“Miss? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” The officer asked, getting out of the car.
“I-I’m lost and I don’t know how to get back to where I live.” How pathetic must I look, being a 17 year old girl crying to a police officer because she can’t find her way home. But it was so much more. It was an emotionally unstable teenage girl finally being able to escape her abusive father and return to where she belonged.
“Ok, Miss, please calm down a bit. Come into the car and tell me where you live and I’ll return you to your house.” He said.
I wasn’t able to say any words. I just nodded and climbed into the backseat. I stuttered out the address to him and he nodded, starting to drive. We arrived there in 15 minutes. I climbed out and quickly started to knock at the door and ring the doorbell frantically, and I heard the policeman get out of the car and walk up to the door also.
“One knock is enou-” The familiar voice said as the door opened, but quickly stopped once he saw the sodding figure in front of him. We didn’t say anything to each other, he only pulled me in quickly and gave me a tight hug. I sobbed into his chest, hugging him back. I stayed there for a minute before the voice of the officer was heard.
“I’m guessing this is who you live with and you are ok now?” He asked and I turned around to him, giving him a hug also.
“T-Thank you so much..!”
“It’s quite alright, Miss. I’m just doing my job,” He said and I then let go of him, going back to Andy. I heard him leave with a chuckle, driving away. Andy pulled me inside of the house and closed the door behind me.
“A-Andy...I-I…” He quickly hushed me with a gentle peck to my lips, telling me that I didn’t need to explain anything today.
“I’m so happy you are here right now, but you look exhausted. Come on, lets get you to bed.” He picked me up and I wrapped my legs and arms around him, making me feel like a small child. I rested my head on his shoulder, squeezing my eyes shut at the thought of what has happened. He placed me down on his bed then crawled in next to me, kissing my head and snuggling up behind me. I was able to fall asleep quickly, finally being able to sleep peacefully after 3 weeks of sleeping poorly.

Notes

i got really emotional while writing this chapter idk


also while facetiming my aunt who lives far away from me i began to get really sad since i hate where i live and the people I live with here. Everything about where I live reminds me of my depression and only brings me in deeper whenever I am almost out. I use to love my room but now I hate it. Whenever I go into it the memories of self harm, anorexia and suicidal thoughts all fill me at once and fuck does it hit me hard. I want to get away from this place and be able to start again, leave behind all the pain this house wears.