Happy (Andy Biersack love story)

I smile with Braden walking up the sidewalk to our shitty apartment, We laugh and look up at the stars. They look so much more beautiful when you're with someone as beautiful as them.

A small pang of guilt stings in my stomach as I suddenly think of my Andy. How could I ever think of another man when I am with someone like him? I know Andy would give and do anything for me, So why would I even think this way?

As I walk up the stairs I say goodnight to Braden, His darling blue eyes shine into mine with the innocents that comes with him. His smile tells me that its alright. I direct my attention from his and lock myself in my apartment.

I flop down on my bed and think of Andy. What is he doing right now? I pull out my phone. I don’t want to annoy him. I jumble the phone in my fingers and think a bit. I’m his girlfriend now, He wouldn't get annoyed by me. Will he? I push the anxiety away and dial him. the phone rings a bit, and then he picks up.

“Hello Beautiful” He answers quietly.

“Hey” I say somewhat sadly.

“What's wrong sweetheart?” He says.

“Nothing, Just, uh, Can you come over?” I say.

He doesn't respond right away, He giggles a bit first “Sure I can”.

I can almost feel his smirk through the phone and it makes me smile,”Ill Be there soon Fawn” And then he hangs up.

I smile for a moment at my phone, My mouth is silly like a little girl and I feel amazing butterflies in my stomach. The feeling doesnt last though, I can feel myself getting sad still.

I think for a moment, About all the friends I have made in new york, Even in the first month of being here. I feel like i'm content with life for a split moment in time and then when I’m alone at night, I feel my heart get heavy. I get quiet as hell, And feel so sad with myself. Nobody ever seems to notice. Maybe thats because I don’t tell people things. Even my parents didn't know how sad I actually was until I tried to killed myself. But I don’t tell people things, Because I know it will hurt them. I don’t want to put them through that so I try to figure it out on my own. When I do that I always end up hurt more. But I didn't hurt them, and thats what more important. That even though I am shattered, they didn't have to worry about being cut by my broken pieces.

I go to the cabinet, Get a bottle of depression pills that I never take, And sink to the floor. I play with the bottle and close my eyes. Maybe if I drink ten bottles of pills, i'll go to sleep for a couple of weeks. Maybe Ill get aways for a while. I could live inside the mind I try so hard to escape. Maybe then Ill finally be happy for once, because its been ten days, weeks, months, or years. Since I felt pure bliss inside me. Maybe I'd rather sleep or a dozen weeks because this world is a nightmare that’s constantly haunting me. I guess I don’t want to die though because i feel like one day this nightmare is going to end. I'll finally be happy. But for now, The pills would help me a lot.

I hear a knock at the door and I wipe the tears from my eyes for a moment, and gather myself before running to the door.

I see his sleepy eyes, Only did that direct me to the time. Then I see, That is is nearly the early hours of morning. The clock was almost on twelve- thirty.

“I’m sorry” I say.

“For what?”.
“I didn't realize how late it was” I say.

“Fawn, I know you wouldn't have called if you didn't need me. What's troubling you? You look sorrowful”.

“Can we go look at the stars?” I say changing the subject, He nods.


I take his hand and lead him to my balcony. beneath the dimming lights of a hundred stars, I seen the petering radiance from Andys eyes, I rubbed my thumb carefully over his hand.

He sits me down and I put my head on his shoulder.

“You're the kind of girl people read books about Fawn” He says.

“What do you mean?” I whisper.

He takes my face in his hand and brings it up to his. “Your beautiful, Quirky, Shy, And quiet. You attract eyes like nobodys business. You always have something on your mind, Even if your saying a word. God, You're the type of girl I want to cuddle a lot, and make out with even more”.

I blush and he kisses me under the stars.

“I remember” He says after a while “during the summer, Sitting out side on the porch. Just like this. With my mom. She was a beautiful woman. We used to sit out and read to me Goodnight moon, Her voice was so soothing and I remember it so clearly. Then, We would count the stars until I fell asleep”.

“Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, I'd love to meet her” I whisper sleepily.

“She died” He says after a while.

I get off his shoulder and look at him for a moment. I kiss him with everything I have. I feel his love pour back into the kiss. After kissing me. He places my head on his chest. And begins to count.

“One” He says.

“Two” I continue.

We could, and not until our eyelids began to droop and our vision blur did we break apart or stop counting, our fingertips brushing lightly together one final time before falling to our sides. In the early hours of that morning, We hadn’t slept through our night together, endeavouring, instead, to enjoy every last second of every last minute we had left. The call to slumber took us all the same. I cannot remember what I dreamed about. I only hope that he had dreamed sweetly.

Notes

Hey guys... I guess I have some explaining to do.

I know I've been gone. But I promise I am back now. I've been going through a really rough time fixing myself. Truthfully, For the six months I have been really depressed. I was not able to find any meaning, and nothing was working. So I had to go away for a while.

But im back and stronger than ever :)

I've also been working on some other projects and I will share them with you soon :)
I hope you enjoyed this update. Were getting 20- 30 inches of snow over here in New England tonight so if im bored enough, I might update some more. If you are also traped in the blizard, Be safe!
-Hailey <3