Dark Magick

The next few weeks passed fairly uneventfully, all things considered, and before they knew it, Warped Tour 2011 was coming to a close. Ash’d finally grown the balls—or more aptly, vagina—to come clean to the fans about what’d happened. They were just as shocked as everyone else, some even blatantly calling him a liar, but he didn’t care. If the tattoos weren’t enough to prove it to their skeptical minds, there was no way in Satan’s hottest Hell he was dropping trow on stage.

During the remainder of Warped, he found himself stuck with having two more periods. Aside from the pain he was in from the cramps, PMS’ing was probably the worst part of the cycle for him. He was typically a moody fucker as a man, but as a PMS’ing woman…his moodiness was off the charts, and at times scary for the rest of the guys.

However, as the bus was heading back home to LA, the bassist was jolted from a dead sleep by his stomach. He hadn’t exactly been feeling his best for the past few days, only experiencing an easily-ignored sense of unease deep in the pit of his stomach. This morning was different, though, because his eyes widened as he realized that if he didn’t get up and make a run for the bathroom, his bunk was going to stink.

Ash hit the floor in front of the toilet on his knees, the lid and seat now up to expose the bowl. He didn’t really like the idea of the guys’ pubes right in his face, but that was a trivial matter in comparison to how forcefully his stomach rejected its contents. Sure, he’d never been one to vomit gently, but this could only be described as projectile vomiting. If he’d been standing up and vomiting on the ground at his feet, the acidic mess would’ve flown two or three feet away from his body before hitting the ground. To say that it made his ribs hurt wouldn’t even come close to actually describing it.

“Ash? You okay in there?”

The moment he tried responding to Jinxx’s concerned inquiry, he felt his stomach lurch again.

“Oh, Ashes,” the multi-instrumentalist murmured, now kneeling beside him. “How long have you been feeling bad?”

“A few…days,” he answered, spitting into the toilet bowl. “I haven’t actually…gotten sick…till now, though.”

“Think we need to take you to a doctor?” his friend asked, gently brushing his hair back.

“Might be a good idea,” the bassist agreed, nodding weakly. “Hell only knows what could be happening to me since Andy cast this spell.”

“Everything all right in here?”

Looking up, the two of them saw the man in question sleepily rubbing his eyes in the doorway.

“I think you need to reverse this spell, Andy,” Jinxx said, finally admitting aloud that he knew what he’d done. “He was just blowing chunks harder than I’ve ever seen someone manage before.”

“Gimme a sec,” the frontman yawned, apparently trying to wake himself up enough to focus.

With his brain awake enough to manage a spell reversal, Andy began chanting in Gaelic while focusing his attention on his best friend. The bassist all but lay limply in Jinxx’s arms, feeling too weak and nauseous to move. He was just glad that apparently the younger man realized that he’d learned the lesson he’d intended to teach him well enough, as well as that he couldn’t physically handle being a woman anymore.

“Oh, my Godsmack.”

Andy’s shocked gasp drew his attention up to his face as he knelt down.

“Going to a doctor is our best option,” he said, sounding scared and almost frantic. “There’s no way I can reverse the spell right now.”

“Why not?” the multi-instrumentalist demanded.

“He’s pregnant.”

“What?!” Ash shrieked, bolting upright. That was a mistake since it made his stomach roil again, but he didn’t care.

“You’re pregnant, Ashie,” his best friend said, trying to be gentle about it. “That’s what’s causing you to feel sick. It’s called morning sickness.”

The bassist’s eyes widened in shock. “But wouldn’t being turned back into a man terminate the pregnancy?”

“No, it won’t,” he answered, shaking his head sadly. “If I do that and you lose the female reproductive tract, carrying a child could kill you. If you didn’t lose it, you’d still have to endure the pregnancy and give birth, either likely through your ass, or a C-section.”

“Why couldn’t I abort, though?”

“Well, technically you could…at the risk of becoming sterile,” Andy told him.

Ash gasped and covered his mouth at the thought of never being able to have a child if he did that. Sure, it would make sleeping with groupies and the like easier on him since he wouldn’t have to worry about having kids possibly running around somewhere, but what if he found the one? What if he found his soulmate and decided to actually settle down and start a family, whether they got married or not? He wouldn’t be able to father a child, at least not without medical intervention, and that would be devastating to him.

His best friend told him that if he were going to abort, his best chances for doing so and keeping his fertility intact would be before reversing the spell. With all this to take in, he excused himself to the back room, which he kicked CC out of, so he could be alone for a while. It was a lot to think about, to make a decision on, to be certain.

The bassist gently rubbed his belly, knowing that Andy’d left a bit unsaid. Unless the guys had overheard them screwing around, they had no idea that he’d been the one to take his feminine virginity. They also had no idea that he’d actually sought the younger man out several times since that night when he got too horny to stand it. Since he hadn’t slept with anyone else, that meant without a doubt that the baby was his.

It wasn’t hard for him to figure out that, although he realized it was his body and choice in the end, Andy would be just as devastated if he aborted as he’d be if he became sterile. Even if he didn’t say so aloud, family meant everything to the younger man, and the thought of losing a child, especially like that, had to be killing him. He was the type where he didn’t care if he was too young for a baby; he was a very responsible young man, despite being only twenty, and would be there for both of them. The only reason he wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions would be if he were dead.

Knowing this about him, Ash was a bit torn about aborting the baby just so the spell could be reversed and he could be a man again. Besides, this baby wasn’t just a part of his best friend; it was a part of him, too. He didn’t want to give up his baby, especially if it could be his only chance at parenthood, just so life could return to what he considered “normal”. It would break his heart in ways that were indescribable through speech, and he didn’t want to live his life with that nail in his coffin. He didn’t want to live a life full of regret, knowing that he could’ve given birth to someone who made something great of themselves, or changed the world for the better, but never got a chance because he killed them before they were ever born.

That made making a decision easier, yet harder, when it was all said and done. He may not like being pregnant since he technically wasn’t supposed to have that ability, and he may miss having the body of a male, but he wasn’t giving up his baby. Even if Andy decided not to be there for them at the end of the day, it wasn’t happening. He’d carry this baby and give birth to it, or die trying, before he’d allow himself to take the easy way out. Nothing good was ever easily won and certainly didn’t come without a price; that much he already knew. It was a hard lesson he’d learned, a bitter pill he’d swallowed numerous times, in fighting to get where he was today, as far as the band went.

“Ashie?” The concerned voice calling to him followed a gentle knock at the door. “You okay in there?”

Knowing he needed to talk to Andy about this, he got up and let him in. “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“About?” his best friend prompted curiously.

“Whether to abort or not, and I’ve made my decision,” the bassist answered.

The younger man merely sat on the couch that was in the lounge area of the back room, bracing one ankle on the opposite knee as he waited.

“I could tell that you left the words but I don’t want you to abort our baby unsaid in the bathroom,” Ash said, sitting down beside him. “Honestly, it would kill me if I aborted this baby, and not because you didn’t want me to, just so I could go back to ‘normal’, especially if it could be my only chance at parenthood.”

“That decision is yours, and yours alone,” the frontman told him. “No, I wouldn’t be too happy at losing a child, especially if it was aborted for what I considered selfish reasons, but at the end of the day, it’s your body; whether male or female, you’re gonna do what you want, and there’s really not a damn thing I can do to stop you.” He gently wrapped his arms around him. “I can only hope that you’re going to keep it, but it’s still your decision.”

“Well, that’s exactly what I plan to do. Keep it, I mean,” he told him. “I couldn’t live with myself, or the regret, knowing that I could’ve killed the next Nikki Sixx or President of the United States before they even had a shot at life.”

“Even if it means staying a woman longer, just to make sure you both survive?” Andy asked, sounding surprised.

“Even if it means that, yes,” the bassist told him. “I personally don’t wanna die bringing a new life into the world, nor do I wanna wind up sterile from aborting after the spell is broken if I can’t carry it to term safely.” He shuddered slightly at the thought. “I may not’ve wanted kids just yet, but if this could be my only chance at parenthood, I’m taking it.”

“I’ll be there for you, and the baby, until my dying breath,” his best friend swore, hugging him as tightly as he dared. “Even if we have to make up a bullshit story to tell them until they’re old enough to understand, or one of us be an uncle to them, I’ll still be there.”

Ash shut him up by gently kissing him, knowing they could nail down their exact plan later. Sensing that he was likely still tired, and probably still not feeling so good, the younger man didn’t try to start anything sexual with him. In fact, he merely tucked him back into bed and sang to him softly until he fell asleep.

Once his best friend was sleeping as peacefully as possible with a roiling stomach on a moving bus, Andy headed back out to the living area. Jinxx’d already told Jake and CC what was going on, and although it was obvious that he’d figured out the baby was his, he hadn’t told the others. The frontman opened a telepathic link with him to silently thank him for keeping his mouth shut, and the response he got could only be equated to a Fred Flintstone grumble.

Life was normally already crazy for them as it was, and it was only bound to get crazier. Still, while they may not be bound by blood, they were practically family and determined to be there for each other when it was all said and done. This gave Andy a bit of peace of mind as he worried about the older man, and he only hoped that one day he could make it up to him, and that Ash could find it in himself to forgive him if he hadn’t already.

Notes