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Courtney's POV:

I gasp awake. My senses not even comprehending the loud surroundings. I sit up instantly, trying to catch my breath desperately, clutching at my rapidly beating heart. I quickly scan the small hospital room; damn I wake up in hospitals a lot more than what's probably healthy. My eyes dart to a flash of movement near the open door, the guys rush through.

Their eyes are wide and bloodshot, rimmed with thin, red blotchy skin. All of their hair is dishevelled and they look beyond exhausted. When Ash's eyes meet mine, he envelopes me in a gigantic hug, crushing me to his broad chest. I manage to suck in a quick breath before the air is practically crushed from my lungs, Ash runs his hands down my body, as if making sure I'm real. I smile as tears flood my eyes, burying my head in his shoulder, drew thing in his familiar scent.

"Fucking hell Courtney," he pants, "never, ever, fucking so that again. I fucking mean it," he growls bringing my gaze to meet his.

I nod, and he presses his lips to my cheek, smiling at me. He pulls away, but keeps contact by draping an arm across my shoulders as the others rush to me side, pulling me into bone-crushing hugs.

"How long was I out?" I ask curiously after they all get their turn with hugging me. Andy plays with my hair from my place in his lap. The close contact makes my heart swell, but I say nothing of it. Ash chooses to ignore our close interactions as well, but I can tell everyone is both intrigued and curious with it.

Jinxx shrugs, "only about a couple hours. Not nearly as long as last time. Thank god."

"The doctors weren't sure you were going to wake up this time..." Ash trails off.

"It was about a 2% chance, really." Jake mumbles quietly, but I hear him.

I open my mouth in shock. How could I have let everything get spout of control? Now that I can think clearly, I feel much better about myself. My self-esteem still lacks obviously, but the voices in my head are hushed, which relieves me.

"I'm really sorry," i blurt out. "But something happened... While I was out."

They raise their eyebrows questioningly, asking me silently to continue. "I was at a crossroad. There was a storm, and I was on a cliff. Basically I could choose to go out easily by awaiting the storm, or attempt to find a way out of it by jumping. I jumped."

Andy sucks in a sharp breath, and I place a finger on his lips to silence him, "hush, you. I'm not done," I giggle when he affectionately brings my finger into his mouth, sucking it lightly.

"Ugh, not even a couple and my eyes are burning from PDA. Enough!" CC shouts.

"Okay, so back to what happened. As I fell, the storm disappeared and everything became calm. The water caught me, and when I resurfaced, the dark thoughts were gone. They haven't been back since. I know longer feel alone, suicidal or depressed. I feel, alive. Whole since you left, Ashy."

Ash brings me into his arms, hugging me tightly. "I'm glad you're feeling better, and that you chose correctly. I could've lost you we all could've."

I nod against his chest, and an pulled into another set of arms, Andy's.

"I swear to god Courtney. Never, ever do that again, promise me," Andy's intense azure gaze locks with mine, and I nod.

"I promise," I whisper softly.

He smiles, "good, because I don't think I could handle it again after this."

Then he tilts my head up, and presses his lips to mine.

Notes

So, they actually, actually kissed!!! With her brother and all of BVB in the room. That's gotta be awkward.... Well, let's hope that goes well.

Did I clear everything up? I hope so.

Qotd: what do you guys think of the story? Good, not good etc.

also, I just wanted to apologize for my lack in updating, it's mostly because I'm actually getting into the band ATL, and haven't been listening to BVB as much as I used to. But I still love and idolize them just as much!!!