That Was on Purpose ~ Andy Biersack *Completed

--Ashley's POV--

I slammed the door of my truck shut. If he was still in there, there was no way I'd be leaving in under 10 minutes. Partly because he needed to have the shit beat into him, and partly because I felt it was my job to help him get better again. Was angry at him for hurting Tessa, furious actually, but I understood his pain. He'd lost his son. Then again, that gave him no excuse to lose his first-born and his wife by hurting them and pushing them away. I gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles were streaked with white.
Tessa had moved into Andy's house when they got married. It was a tiny little place in the city so Andy could stay close to work. Tessa wasn't thrilled about switching Michael's school, but they both loved it in the end. They were the kind of the family that woke up to pancakes every weekend morning and after work there was always an affectionate call of "Honey, I'm home!" They always seemed so perfect. I think it was because they both had such genuine trust in each other that they never expected anything bad, which helped them to stay positive all the time. But of course, no one can keep a commercial family for
long.
I clicked off my radio and snapped off my seatbelt, taking a deep breath before heading inside.

--Tessa's POV--

I sat, curled on Ashley's brown leather couch watching TV. My eyes felt heavy from crying. But I tried to be strong. I knew inside he didn't mean it, he never meant to hurt me. He was devastated and didn't mean to take it out on me. But he did, and that was the big part. I didn't want to see him again. I never wanted to forgive him. However, my subconscious had already forgiven him. I had already looked past his mistake, even thought I didn't want to. It was unintentional, but if I wasn't so fearful I would run back to his arms in a heartbeat. I hated that about me. He was like a cigarette. Every time I curled my fingers into his hair or kissed his lips for a little too long, I was just pouring poison into my lungs. Suddenly, I heard a small voice croak.

"Mom?" Michael asked. He looked like maybe he'd been crying too, the tip of his nose red and his cheeks a little pink.

I sniffled quickly and swallowed the saliva in my mouth.

"Yeah hun?" I asked. A crack in my voice gave me away.

"I-I'm hungry." He said, the same dry tone to his words.

I thought for a moment. I was sort of taking advantage of Ashley's hospitality. Here he was, going out to get all my things and moving me into his house because I showed up at his doorstep unexpected. The least I could do was make some food for him. I nodded. "Okay hun...I'll make something. One sec."

--Ashley's POV--

The door was open, which was good because I wasn't sure what I'd do if it was locked. Gently pushing it open, I peered inside. The damage wasn't horrible. Not as bad as I expected. A glass table was broken and a few chairs were strone across the living room. There were especially a lot of books laying open, some torn, on the carpet. I shut the door behind me with my butt and walked further inside. I remembered Tessa saying he had locked himself in the bathroom. I decided it would be best to talk to him before getting their things together. Careful not to make too much noise, I tiptoed up the stairs and sown the hall. The bathroom door was shut, but the light wasn't on. It was like the ghost of a once lively home. I hesitated a moment before trying the door. Locked. I heard a sharp inhale from inside. He knew I was here. "Andy." I said sternly, knocking on the door. "I know you're in there." I didn't even bother to tell him who it was. He would probably recognize my voice. "Open the door and we can just talk." I said, although I felt as rage seethed from the pit of my stomach. I had to control it. He didn't respond. "Andy. Open the door."

--Andy's POV--

"Andy. Open the door." By that time, I figured it was Ashley's voice. I was too hazed to care. I had hurt the most important thing in my entire world. I'd lost both my sons and now my wife, and after this I'm sure my friends will be gone too.

I could feel as the human side of me kicked in.

Human.

Human is when you're too selfish to care about anyone but yourself, not necessarily with the intention of hurting them, but because you need them to stay happy. When you don't really care if you may not be good for someone because you can't bare to lose them. That was what I've been with Tessa. Human.
I didn't want her to forgive me. I wanted her to never see me again. I never wanted to see her again. I was holding her over an open fire with every moment I spent with her, and I prayed ti god she wouldn't forgive me. But the human side wanted her to forgive me and let me back inside so I can be happy again.

Ashley knocked on the door again. "Andy." He called. "Tessa's okay...She knows it wasn't on purpose...Look...I know you're in pain and I know you're...grieving....but you need to come out, you can't stay here." He said. I half listened, half thought about my current situation. I had tried to suffocate myself with a towel, but my body just wouldn't let me. I thought about drowning, but that would take much too long. I didn't want to talk to anyone. But I wanted to hold her and kiss her and run my hands through her hair. I wanted to feel her skin beneath my fingetips and look into her sharply colored eyes, the end of them always wrinkling when she smiled. I wanted her.

--Ashley's POV--

I slid down on the other side of the door. "Andy, come on...Just say something...I know you're in there...And look I, I know what it's like to feel alone. I spent my whole life just...fucking one girl and moving along to the next. Never spending more than a day with one girl to make sure I didn't get hurt. And I saw you and Tessa and how perfect you were together, and I wanted it. I wanted a perfect family with perfect kids and a perfect kid to come home to. But all I've got are one night stands and...that gets lonely. But if you just keep commiting to the thing that makes you lonely, you're never gonna get better." I said. No words on the other line. I thought about the blonde I'd been screwing just seconds before Tess knocked on the door and my words seem twisted. "Please Andy...Come out." He didn't speak. Andy gad never been a big fan of heart-to-hearts. If you wanted him to calm down, you had to make him angry first. But that wasn't a good idea in this case.

--Andy's POV--

I didn't speak. I was too embarrassed, perhaps, or maybe too proud, there was just someing keeping me from speaking. I wanted to. I wanted to flush open the door and run back to Tessa. Tell her I'm sorry, tell her I love her. But I don't want to hurt her like that. Suddenly, I heard a loud thump on the door. What was he doing? A second thump, and a splinter of wood shed to the other side. He was kicking down the door.

Notes

Hey! So thank ya'll for the TREMENDOUS amounts of love on this story :) Warms mah lil' black heart. Leave me a comment to smile at :)))))