My Eternal Bleeding Heart

So Sext what you gonna do now? I was baking so I wasn't sure who asked. Halloween is next week and I need to practice making these glass and blood cupcakes. the candy glass is hard to make. I decided to make red vanilla in the cupcake so its like they are vamps when they eat em. thank goodness Hollywood got that part on em wrong. yes they do exist they just don't need blood or sparkle for crying out loud ugh!
"waiting for the 31st I love Halloween even though I cant watch any of the movies on tv for this month. so im a lill peeved and nervous cause last year someone tried to kidnap me. Again." Heres the thing I didn't know all the guys were there still or behind me for that matter. so naturally there was an outburst form them all.
"WHAT THE HELL WHY WAS THAT IN THE UNIMPORTANT TO TELL THE GUYS CATAGORY!!!???
"BECAUSE IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF BY ME LIKE ALWAYS!!! ITS A DIFFERENT PERSON EVERY HALLOWEEN AND ON MY BIRTHDAY BUT I HANDEL IT LIKE ALWAYS OKAY!!!" No I didn't mean to yell but I always do when I get yelled at. Defensive remember? and its a reflex.....bad and broken past...

"oh" said all at different times. I got lots of hugs so it was all good for me. I needed hugs Riles knew it and would hug me several times a day. I cry every night I am alone, I don't want to be a burden. I try to not be sad because when I cry it rains and I hate thunderstorms. CC knows, along with me crying just not that its every night, I don't think...oh well. he figured out that my favorite hug is getting picked up and spun around. I giggle everytime and don't know why. he lets me go when im ready. So its always a long 5 or more minute hug. I feel complete when Im withhim and its wonderful. I never wanna let go. "CC I was wondering something..."
"what is it"
"well to be completely honest im afraid to be alone and at night well I know that there can be monsters under your bed that pull you under so the dark in my room makes me nervous for that reason......"
"you wanna sleep in my bed or have me sleep in yours then? and if that's the case then yes I have been waiting for you to ask but didn't wanna push you into it and man was it hard. why you ask exactly?"
"when I sleep with any of the guys I feel safe and protected for once...and *crying now feeling exposed* I just want to always feel that way and I don't know what love feels like from non other than a chu=ild and I think what I get from you all is love and I don't want to mess it upp or-rrr loossee iit I ccaant I juuussst--*full on wailing*
"YOu cant messup you amazing we will always love you and be here for you you can come sleep with us anytime you want ok? Stop crying theres no need to be scared or upset okay sweetie?"
"ookkaayy" sobs no more tears
"now who wants ice cream? mmaahh uff"
"hahaha got ya and ME ME ME!!!!!!!!"
Im right hear don't make me deaf I need those to hear your beautiful snging voice!!!"
"WAIT HOW GOOD CAN SHE SING!!!???"
"CHRISTIAN ROBERT MORA COMA WHY DO YOU DO THIS SHIT TO ME!!!" tears long forgotten
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SHANIA MARIE!!!" FREEZE nothing even moved no one breathed. we all knew no one older than her said those words and ment it, I cant believe I said that. her eyes widened and her lips shaped themselves into an o, im afraid of er reaction. I don't want her to push me away.
her breath hitched like always and she said words I may love or hate. "I love you too Christian" she widened her eyes covered her moush blushed and ran up stairs. I was in shock so were the guys it took a second to process then they all whispered. then that means she loves us all too. and we all shook our heads and went to her room but she wasn't there. we walked to my room to see her well a mound of blankets that breathed in the middle muttering what an idiot and other insults at herself and was crying in anger and pain. wee all doggie piled and sense it was all the band she as crushed and we were glad she was a tough cookie!!! she somehow wiggled her way outta the pile and was cowered in the corner because Ash got to her first and she thought he was still mad. he wasn't actually wanted to make up for it. she got a concussion because of him and he cried that night. she did too because she though he hated her and it hurt because she cared for him and still does. She is one to care about damn ner everyone and its wonderful. till it gets her into trouble, again. we cant stay mad though. she has to be or them what no one was for her. a savior. thankfully the police love her and want her to continue helping. I could marry this girl someday, if only she lets me in, and I know she will. she already started



@CCs bitch
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I LOVE YOU MY LILL BVB BEASTIES ARMY FOR ALL FAMILY FOREVER

~XOXOXO~

Notes

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