The scariest part of falling in love is how hard and how fast it all occurs.
One minute everything’s fine, the next minute you’re in a downward spiral; screaming and choking, just trying to catch your breath.

You feel so scared and worried that you’ll get hurt, and even though you know how dangerous it is, you still give the person everything you have.
You give them every breath and every moment you have to spare.
You give them your beating, unprotected heart for them to keep.
It’s such a beautiful thing, really. ______________________________________________________________________

My eyes shot open, the words still echoing in my head; my eyes instantly being filled with darkness.

I hate darkness.

My heart began thumping so hard against my rib cage—I was out of breath and no air would return to my lungs. I gasped for hair and flung myself out of bed, my weak legs shakily carrying me to the bathroom.

I stepped in front of the large mirror, pulling at the bags under my eyes. My face was pale and covered in sweat. I brought a hand up to touch my ghostly cheek—it was like touching ice; glistening and sending a chill up your spin. I slowly lowered my hand to my side and stood staring at the naked figure in front of me.

The room started spinning, a wave of nausea flooding over me. I flocked to the toilet and fell on my knees in front of it. The tile floor was felt deathly cold against my bare legs and feet, but I closed my eyes and heaved as the vomit flew out. Silent, unwelcome, tiny drops of liquid started slowly rolling down my cheeks as I leaned over the cold porcelain.

I heard the rustling of bed sheets; a quiet squeak as weight was lifted off the bed frame, and a moment later heavy footsteps coming towards me. I braced myself against the toilet seat, head hanging low, and waited for another heave to strike.

The room was deathly quiet. I could hear soft breathing behind me and knew that Andy had come walking in. A warm hand gently rested on my shoulder and I turned to look at him; his face lost of all expression. His eyes were half open, looking weary and tired. He took a deep breath in before yawning.

I had no words to speak; no explanation for anything. I’d woken up in utter panic from an attack of an unknown enemy. How am I to explain how my train came skidding off its rails, ending in a fiery crash?

He stared down at me, confused, with now questioning eyes. I’m sorry; I don’t have answers for you. The only answer I had was a few silent tears rolling down my flushed cheeks.

I pulled myself up from the toilet and over to the sink. I washed my hands, drying them then going back to the sink to rinse my mouth out. I took advantage of the tiny, hotel provided bottle of mouthwash and swished it around. It made my mouth tingle, a welcome feeling from the uneasy feeling I’d had before.

I turned back to Andy, “sorry if I woke you.” My eyes were pleading for forgiveness.

“It’s fine, hun.” His voice was raspy and sleepy. He brought a hand up to run through his messy hair.

He took a few steps closer to me and simply pulled me into his arms, my face pushed against his warm chest. I inhaled his sweet, Andy smell and felt calmness rushing over me.

He must be my fucking antidote.

---

Head still nuzzled into his chest, I softly sang,


“And I’d give up forever to touch you,
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to Heaven I’ll ever be,
And I don’t wanna go home right now.”
I sang the words that meant so much to me. Part of me hoped he heard me and part of me hoped he didn’t. A few tears rolled down my cheek leaving damp trails behind them as they ran down, eventually coming to the end of their journey and dripping off my chin.

“And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am...”
I finished my soft singing, pushing my pale lips closed, a few more tears rolling down my cheeks.

I looked up to be met with his bright blue eyes gazing down at me. He looked amazed at me; like I was some wonderful, newly found, never before seen creation. Me? I just peered up at him, confused as why he was looking at me like that.

It was like his mind finally decided what to do--he pulled his hands up to cup my face, abruptly pulling my lips to meet his.

Notes

Awwwwwz :) cute filler chapter for you. Are they falling for each other?? The song is Iris- Goo Goo Dolls, but I prefer the cover Sleeping With Sirens did (that's the way Crystal sang it in the chapter). If you haven't heard the Sleeping With Sirens version, I suggest you open another tab, go to Youtube, and listen to it!

Anywhoozles...I'm sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I previously did, but I've been too tired or too busy to write. Just haven't been feeling like myself lately :/ I love each and every one of you guys, and I will try harder to update more frequently. Stay beautiful!